Dating outside of your economic status (how to, marry, men, children)

[GoddessofRandomThoughts]

Isn't it sad that along with everything else we have to check on the economic status of a person as well.

Lordy, it's hard enough with race, age, personality, etc...

Now economic status.
Ya know up till now I have never really thought about it.
I guess you figure that where they meet you gives you a clue.

And why worry about a prenup, I figure I might as well sign it.
Not like I'm likely to end up poorer than I started.

Man you people are bummin' me out

[KevK]

Originally Posted by dlh891

Take it from me, it can be very hard to maintain a relationship where the two families are miles apart economically. The economic part usually affects the education, class, and general way of doing things in life. Very hard to try and blend together.

Very interesting holiday dinners. Would probably be like that movie "Meet The Parents"

[Rainy33]

I once dated the guy that worked at the gas station. He made 1/18th of the money I did and we were just fine. He did not even have a car. He was romantic and thoughtful and really a lot of fun. We might still be together if he had been honest about a debt that he had from before us. It was about ten thousand of debt and when I found out I told him it was his responsibility to pay it off ,well, a part time night job to pay off his debt was not his plan. I did not wait around to find out his plan either. I took him to work and did not pick him up. Financial wealth is not a requirement around me but honesty and a sense of responsibility are.

[k374]

I'm not wealthy by any means but I do earn in the 6 figures. If I were to meet a woman who made minimum wage it would not be a problem. I don't care about her socio-economic status but rather what kind of person she was. I usually go with my instincts.

My uncle is a PhD in economics and used to earn $250,000/yr as a financial advisor for an oil company. He married a high school diploma holder. Not only that, my uncle is Indian and she is white (Swiss) so it's an inter-race marriage. They have been married for 40 yrs and have a rock solid marriage and she has always been extremely faithful to him (as far as I know of course). So, I don't think socio-economic status really matters. Someone who is the same socio-economic status can make for a horrible mate and someone who makes nothing can be the best life partner ever. My $0.02

[115db]

There were a couple of times I dated guys who I felt were way, way better than me, due to what their income was and what mine was. One was a chief editor for a newspaper back in Calif and his salary was incredible...while I scrubbed toilets for a living (he actually was one of my customers when I had my homecleaning business). After a few months I started feeling a little inferior that my wages didnt come close to measuring up to his, and therefore, felt I may not have been good enough for him. So I advanced to driving truck, a change of career. And everything else.
Another time I dated someone who made a pretty good living, but again, in comparing my wages to his, felt inferior and that he could do (deserved) better. So....
Maybe for some, what you make or what you do for a living may not matter, but I cant fathom getting too 'close' to someone that makes 3 or even 4 times as much as me. Especially when reading in here how 50k a year is poverty level, and I've gotten by pretty decent on a 35k a year wage pretty good. Just live a simple life,

[Fat Freddy]

Sunday was an abandoned child who had been raised by two miners in Silver Creek, Colorado. She fell in love with and married Lord Henry Brinthrope, a man with the bluest of blood who was as much at home in a castle as Sunday was in a prospecting camp.

[NorthmeetsSouth]

Originally Posted by iGlenn

Your dating someone for 6 months and things are starting to get serious. You haven't meet their family yet or many of their friends from where they grew up. Up till this point it appears that they have a seemingly normal lifestyle much like your own and they really have no need or desire for extravagant luxuries.

You get to the point where you want to meet each others families and thats when they decide to spill the beans. They tell you that they have significant wealth ($100+ million) and haven't said anything about it before due to not trusting people they don't know very well. A small part of you doesn't believe it but you eventually do meet the family and you realize they have told you the truth.

If you found yourself in such a situation could you honestly say that you wound not think differently of them? Would your feelings be taken over by greed? Would you sign a pre-nup if they asked you to? If you were fortunate enough to have significant wealth and your SO didn't would you ask them to sign a pre-nup?

Just curious as to what peoples thoughts were on this.

Thanks.

Frankly, if I were on the "poor" side of that I would volunteer to sign a prenup if we were talking about marriage. I wouldn't want the other party to feel like the money was part of the decision to marry.
But, being on the other side can be tricky. When I married I felt as though asking for a prenup would be like saying "I don't trust you". I live a fairly simple lifestyle and I had not really disclosed the extent of my savings anyway, so I created a trust for the "pre-marriage" money which can be directed however I want, and then all money made during the marriage goes into a joint fund. I thought that was pretty fair, and I have since disclosed a more accurate picture of where we stand so that he doesn't feel like he has to work forever.
Some people may think that it isn't right to not tell your spouse everything upfront, but I disagree. I think you have a duty to tell them any bad news, like having monsterous debts, but who ever heard of someone being upset by being told that they can go ahead and retire if they want.

[austinsmom]

After 6 months, I'd hope someone knew what their feelings for the person were. Without it actually happening to me, I can't say for sure how I'd feel. But it would be hard not to think about learning to put up with whatever bothered you to know that you'd live high on the hog for the rest of your life Might be shallow, but at least it's honest! But I'm married and believe me, we are no where near wealthy but I'm still happy

[MotleyCrew]

Sounds like a dream come true. They must like and trust you or they would have remained silent. Sign the "nups" and be happy. Treat them like you did before you found out. It could have worked out the other way and you realized you married into a bunch of trailer trash (no offense to anyone living in trailors) ...well you know the Randy Quaid kinda folks.

[roxiemack]

yup, i have dated a coupla guys that were more wealthy than me and i realized that i pretty much didn't have a lot in common with them. i would consider them pretentious for having to have a 'label brand',while they would look down on me for shopping at the 'marts' and keeping a budget..... i've realized i need to stay pretty much as equals, or maybe they make a bit more than me, but not incredibly more....thats all