Dating outside of your economic status (girlfriend, guy, single, pickup)

[Magnum Mike]

Originally Posted by Livewire

There were a couple of times I dated guys who I felt were way, way better than me, due to what their income was and what mine was. One was a chief editor for a newspaper back in Calif and his salary was incredible...while I scrubbed toilets for a living (he actually was one of my customers when I had my homecleaning business). After a few months I started feeling a little inferior that my wages didnt come close to measuring up to his, and therefore, felt I may not have been good enough for him. So I advanced to driving truck, a change of career. And everything else.
Another time I dated someone who made a pretty good living, but again, in comparing my wages to his, felt inferior and that he could do (deserved) better. So....
Maybe for some, what you make or what you do for a living may not matter, but I cant fathom getting too 'close' to someone that makes 3 or even 4 times as much as me. Especially when reading in here how 50k a year is poverty level, and I've gotten by pretty decent on a 35k a year wage pretty good. Just live a simple life,

My take on this - You shouldn't feel "inferior" because the person makes more money than you do. The quality of a person is determined by their human qualities, like compassion, honesty, and sincerity, not by how rich, or how poor they are, and how much money they make. The way I see it, if a person has millions of dollars, along with the houses, cars and other material things, if he or she doesn't have the good human qualities that's expected out of a person, then I consider that person very POOR, because all that money and material things will not help them after their time on earth is done.

[Ivorytickler]

Originally Posted by iGlenn

Your dating someone for 6 months and things are starting to get serious. You haven't meet their family yet or many of their friends from where they grew up. Up till this point it appears that they have a seemingly normal lifestyle much like your own and they really have no need or desire for extravagant luxuries.

You get to the point where you want to meet each others families and thats when they decide to spill the beans. They tell you that they have significant wealth ($100+ million) and haven't said anything about it before due to not trusting people they don't know very well. A small part of you doesn't believe it but you eventually do meet the family and you realize they have told you the truth.

If you found yourself in such a situation could you honestly say that you wound not think differently of them? Would your feelings be taken over by greed? Would you sign a pre-nup if they asked you to? If you were fortunate enough to have significant wealth and your SO didn't would you ask them to sign a pre-nup?

Just curious as to what peoples thoughts were on this.

Thanks.

BTDT and SERIOUSLY felt I did not fit in with his family. We didn't last much beyond him showing me his yacht. I felt like I needed to go to finishing school. Fortunately, it wasn't a serious relationship.

[miu]

Originally Posted by k374

I'm not wealthy by any means but I do earn in the 6 figures. If I were to meet a woman who made minimum wage it would not be a problem. I don't care about her socio-economic status but rather what kind of person she was. I usually go with my instincts.

My uncle is a PhD in economics and used to earn $250,000/yr as a financial advisor for an oil company. He married a high school diploma holder. Not only that, my uncle is Indian and she is white (Swiss) so it's an inter-race marriage. They have been married for 40 yrs and have a rock solid marriage and she has always been extremely faithful to him (as far as I know of course). So, I don't think socio-economic status really matters. Someone who is the same socio-economic status can make for a horrible mate and someone who makes nothing can be the best life partner ever. My $0.02

Guys are much more comfortable with dating a woman that is beneath them in socio-economic status. But all they are looking for is someone to have their children with. And if she will be a stay at home mom, then it doesn't much matter if she only graduated from college. However, the greater the money gap, the more beautiful and hot looking she would need to be.

Women have a harder time dating men that make less money than they do or are less educated. We want and expect more out of life and if future wifely duties interfere with our career paths, then the men have to be able to take up the slack financially.

I was briefly married to a man that was from a lower socio-economic class than I was. Some conflicts were that he wasn't interested in pushing himself career-wise to make enough money to buy a house. He didn't want any job that would cause him any stress. His family still all rented apartments and that was good enough for him. He also wouldn't get things fixed on the car of mine that he drove until it became absolutely necessary to do so. Anyway, I soon realized that there was no way that I wanted to grow old with him.

[TKramar]

Originally Posted by iGlenn

Your dating someone for 6 months and things are starting to get serious. You haven't meet their family yet or many of their friends from where they grew up. Up till this point it appears that they have a seemingly normal lifestyle much like your own and they really have no need or desire for extravagant luxuries.

You get to the point where you want to meet each others families and thats when they decide to spill the beans. They tell you that they have significant wealth ($100+ million) and haven't said anything about it before due to not trusting people they don't know very well. A small part of you doesn't believe it but you eventually do meet the family and you realize they have told you the truth.

If you found yourself in such a situation could you honestly say that you wound not think differently of them? Would your feelings be taken over by greed? Would you sign a pre-nup if they asked you to? If you were fortunate enough to have significant wealth and your SO didn't would you ask them to sign a pre-nup?

Just curious as to what peoples thoughts were on this.

Thanks.

I still wouldn't want her to work. She lives off MY income, and not her parents'.

[sierraAZ]

It's the best when both people are at about the same level. The balance of power is very fragile. As they say, nobody works as hard for his/her money than those who marry it. I'm not saying it's necessarily bad if one makes a lot more, but the other one should make sure he/she can support him/herself independently, particularly these days.

[Chowhound]

I've never dated a woman with serious money. It really never occured to me. But, now that I think about maybe I should

[Magnum Mike]

Originally Posted by sierraAZ

It's the best when both people are at about the same level. The balance of power is very fragile. As they say, nobody works as hard for his/her money than those who marry it. I'm not saying it's necessarily bad if one makes a lot more, but the other one should make sure he/she can support him/herself independently, particularly these days.

Every situation is going to be different, so we can't really set any rules on what works best.

There are people out there of course, who don't mind making a lot less money than their spouses, and that's when the person who makes more, has to be careful of the other person's motives and make sure he or she is not a gold digger. I have an uncle on my father's side of the family, he was 60 years old when he married a very beautiful gal that looked to be in her late 20's or early 30's. For those who know me personally, yeah, believe it or not, it happened in my family also, and when they got divorced, she ended up with a nice fortune, and a really nice house in a very high-class area of Scottsdale, AZ. This happened around 6 years ago, and everybody in my father's family were not only questioning my uncle's ex-wife's motives, but how he went about everything and not being careful. The only good thing that came out of that marriage were two beautiful kids.

[Huckleberry3911948]

pre nup the only way to go. to marry a woman and have kids is like giving her 2 ICBM's showing how to open the silo doors but making her promise not to use them.
75% of divorces filed by women.

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[sierraAZ]

Originally Posted by Magnum Mike

This happened around 6 years ago, and everybody in my father's family were not only questioning my uncle's ex-wife's motives, but how he went about everything and not being careful. The only good thing that came out of that marriage were two beautiful kids.

I personally don't believe anybody whose only plan is to leave with a small fortune would have children. I'm sure there's a lot more to this story, but you being a relative look at it this way.

[Magnum Mike]

Originally Posted by Huckleberry3911948

pre nup the only way to go. to marry a woman and have kids is like giving her 2 ICBM's showing how to open the silo doors but making her promise not to use them.
75% of divorces filed by women.

pdclipart.com
free clipart

Huckleberry, I'm not sure if there was a pre-nup, I'll have to ask my father about that. My uncle is a very smart and a wealthy businessman, so I can't imagine him doing this without some sort of an agreement.