Dating outside of your economic status (wives, guys, college, prenup)

[itlchick]

Sort of interesting....generally speaking, I would not sign a pre-nup (either you trust me or you don't).

However, 100 million dollars is a lot of money. It's not like he makes 30k and she makes 100k. So in that case, I would sign a VERY generous pre-nup (like I get 5 mil or something for 7 years of marriage etc). Kind of like the one Katie Holmes got.

Class is an interesting thing. Most people don't want to admit that it can cause problems or that it even exists. But even in the 30k v. 100k (or parents who make 30k vs. parents who make 100k), problems can come up.

[Humboldt1]

My brother married a woman in 2004 who is from a wealthy family. Her father makes $2-3MM per year managing a large construction company with 20,000 employees. He does not own the business but has built up significant wealth thru big paychecks such as these.

Her father came up thru the ranks and actually worked construction before finishing college. I like this guy. He has not forgot where he came from, but there are some issues with his money which I get into later.

My father is a farmer who owns a lot of land in Indiana. We are wealthy on paper but have built this wealth over generations, not a single generation as is the case with my brother's in-laws. My father has never made more than $200M per year.

When they got married in 2004, my father and her father probably had about the same amount of money but I suspicion in the past 4 years her father has amassed more wealth than my father.

My father drives a used pickup truck and my mother drives a minivan. We are not showy people. Her parents have matching lexus cars, though her father recently gave my brother and his wife their 2 year old lexus so he could get a pickup truck. He also has a hunting lodge with 400 acres and is in the process of buying another 400 acres, tillable acres. Every year their family goes on a mediterranean cruise for a couple of weeks and guess who picks up the tab, the dad. My brother works as a manager for a software company and his wife works as a lawyer for a small law firm. Between the two of them, they might make $150M per year.

As far as I know, there is no prenup. Because both families have wealth and do not have a history of divorce and are very stable as a whole perhaps this was not deemed necessary. Still, with my parents being frugal with their idea of a big vacation being a trip to the Smoky Mountains in Tennessee, my brother ends up spending most of his time with the inlaws. Even on the holidays, we also get them the day after Thanksgiving and the day after Christmas. My brother and his wife just bought a house in her hometown.

I don't know if it is the money that has affected their decisions or not to spend more time with her family but it certainly makes you wonder.

[Magnum Mike]

Originally Posted by sierraAZ

I personally don't believe anybody whose only plan is to leave with a small fortune would have children. I'm sure there's a lot more to this story, but you being a relative look at it this way.

Without saying too much, there is always two sides to every story.

[sierraAZ]

Originally Posted by Magnum Mike

Without saying too much, there is always two sides to every story.

Always! Not counting the truth that is...

[Gretchen570]

Originally Posted by Magnum Mike

My take on this - You shouldn't feel "inferior" because the person makes more money than you do. The quality of a person is determined by their human qualities, like compassion, honesty, and sincerity, not by how rich, or how poor they are, and how much money they make. The way I see it, if a person has millions of dollars, along with the houses, cars and other material things, if he or she doesn't have the good human qualities that's expected out of a person, then I consider that person very POOR, because all that money and material things will not help them after their time on earth is done.

I like where you are coming from!

[mom2justynsarah]

My Aunt dated a very nice, handsome, down to earth and modest guy for six months. It wasn't until they got married that he told her to throw out all of her clothes (and shop at Saks, Bloomingdales, etc for brand new clothes). He also bought her a Jaguar (car) and a GORGEOUS home in Dix Hills, NY. It turned out that her husband's family owned some very well recognized sunglass manufacturing plants.

She went from being "one of us" to becoming "one of them" lol. There is a certain lifestyle that must be upheld when running in the millionaire's circle. For example, she is dressed to the nines (hair immaculate, manicured nails and toenails, lipstick, tons of makeup, and jewelry) even if she is just running an errand or shopping for food. I used to feel uncomfortable around her and his friends/family. But then I realized how ridiculous they looked and how most of them (including my aunt) were just a bunch of phonies and made of plastic.

[sierraAZ]

Originally Posted by mom2justynsarah

My Aunt dated a very nice, handsome, down to earth and modest guy for six months. It wasn't until they got married that he told her to throw out all of her clothes (and shop at Saks, Bloomingdales, etc for brand new clothes).

I wouldn't object too much to his awful controlling behavior.

[Magnum Mike]

Originally Posted by sierraAZ

I wouldn't object too much to his awful controlling behavior.

Oh I don't know about that SierraAZ, as long as his "controlling behavior" doesn't go beyond your shopping habits.

For me, I'd let my girlfriend/wife choose wherever she wants to shop, and it doesn't matter if it's at May's, or those second hand stores like Savers.

[sierraAZ]

Originally Posted by Magnum Mike

Oh I don't know about that SierraAZ, as long as his "controlling behavior" doesn't go beyond your shopping habits.

I was kidding, of course. There's no doubt the behavior most likely will extend in other areas.

For me, I'd let my girlfriend/wife choose wherever she wants to shop, and it doesn't matter if it's at May's, or those second hand stores like Savers.

Wouldn't ya love Savers...?!

[mom2justynsarah]

LOL!! I hear ya!

Originally Posted by sierraAZ

I wouldn't object too much to his awful controlling behavior.