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So m moving in with my girlfriend. she has a 2bdrm apartment and asked if i would want to move ina nd i said yes
though some nights we will be sleeping together i'm sure she also said she wants me to bring my own bed for the second bedroom
i found this to be very questionable and am curious as to why she wants me to have my own bed?
i tried to bring it up and she said something along the lines of "some night i enjoy just being alone in my own bed" and "i think it would just be smart"
should i believe her or should i view this as a concern?
Believe her. I've been married for a bit so that would not be a deal breaker for me. I'd rather she want me, than for me to sleep in her bed and she's not interested. Or maybe she plans on screwing you in your own bed and is saving her bed for someone else. Compartmentalization. I'm just saying.
I'm trying to ease the idea into our household. I rarely get a good night's sleep. It's okay usually - I can live with broken sleep EVERY NIGHT. But sometimes I wish I could just climb in the spare room and hibernate for a solid 8 hours.
If you love her, you'll consider allowing her to sleep peacefully. Ground rules would be nice. Why not establish the bedroom that will be yours together and, when she needs to sleep alone, she can go to the spare room?
I'd be cautious about her age. Another consideration would be to establish separate bedrooms right off the bat. Tell her, when you want me you know where to find me! Just live roommate-ish. Maybe her parents come to visit.
When wife and I were married ( 41 years ago today) we didn't sleep together until after the wedding ( old fashioned, right ??) We originally had a full size bed, it wasn't big enough as we were bumping into each other and disturbing each other during the night. Fortunately , my uncle owned a Serta factory and got us a queen size mattress pronto. I joke that that mattress saved our marriage. It is amazing how couples got along with just a full or even twin size mattress for so many years. LOL
When wife and I were married ( 41 years ago today) we didn't sleep together until after the wedding ( old fashioned, right ??) We originally had a full size bed, it wasn't big enough as we were bumping into each other and disturbing each other during the night. Fortunately , my uncle owned a Serta factory and got us a queen size mattress pronto. I joke that that mattress saved our marriage. It is amazing how couples got along with just a full or even twin size mattress for so many years. LOL
Most people don't need to have a relative who owns a matress factory. They just go to the store and buy a new bed. Just sayin.
If there is an extra bedroom and the bed would be used for a guest bedroom, of course that is fine. If it is to banish you, then no.
Who said anything about banishment? I'd say my husband and I sleep in the same bed 85-90% of the time...but if one of is having a restless night...the other has a cold and is snoring the windows loose...wants to stay up late reading and still be sprawled out....or even just needs some space.....having a second bed is great.
Who said anything about banishment? I'd say my husband and I sleep in the same bed 85-90% of the time...but if one of is having a restless night...the other has a cold and is snoring the windows loose...wants to stay up late reading and still be sprawled out....or even just needs some space.....having a second bed is great.
It also comes in handy for guests.
This right here. ESPESCIALLY the sick thing. Ive been sick as a dog at times, and even I would NOT have slept in the same bed with me.
Also, I have gotten hurt, had surgeries,etc where I needed my space in the bed to be more comfy.
And my parents were married for 20 years before my dad passed, and they had separate beds cause he snored like crazy.
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ScarletG
Who said anything about banishment? I'd say my husband and I sleep in the same bed 85-90% of the time...but if one of is having a restless night...the other has a cold and is snoring the windows loose...wants to stay up late reading and still be sprawled out....or even just needs some space.....having a second bed is great.
It also comes in handy for guests.
No one, I threw it out there as a possible reason.
No one mentioned using the bed for guests either, but it is a possibility.
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