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We've only had 2 message exchanges thus far, but would like to get some guidelines on how long I should wait between messaging back to her (12 hours? 2 days?), how much I should message her before asking her to a date if there's interest, and any other tips!
We've only had 2 message exchanges thus far, but would like to get some guidelines on how long I should wait between messaging back to her (12 hours? 2 days?), how much I should message her before asking her to a date if there's interest, and any other tips!
There are no guidelines. Send a couple messages, get her number text her a bit and ask her to meet up.
Following dating rules are for the people who will never find someone they truly enjoy.
Good luck. Lay it all out there. Number and something in mind. Odds are that "she likes to laugh and wants a guy that makes her laugh", so have your court jester costume ready to wear on short notice.
Being that guys outnumber women by "a lot to one", don't be surprised if you get "lost". That's if she is even taking this seriously, which is an iffy proposition in itself (i.e. "I don't know you well enough to date you...").
There are no guidelines. Send a couple messages, get her number text her a bit and ask her to meet up.
Following dating rules are for the people who will never find someone they truly enjoy.
They're are still some ground rules, or rules of thumb even if you need to be flexible these days. Counter-examples include...
-if a woman doesn't poor or on her first date, then she's no good
-i knew a guy who wouldnt kiss his girlfriends until his 8th date or so. Many of his acquaintances, men and women are telling him you need to kiss her much sooner than that, else she'll think you're not interested.
They're are still some ground rules, or rules of thumb even if you need to be flexible these days. Counter-examples include...
-if a woman doesn't poor or on her first date, then she's no good
-i knew a guy who wouldnt kiss his girlfriends until his 8th date or so. Many of his acquaintances, men and women are telling him you need to kiss her much sooner than that, else she'll think you're not interested.
If he wants to wait 8 dates he should be able to. He'll be much happier when he finds someone who thinks like he does.
Do what you feel is right and that way you know you'll be on the right track.
Most of the dating rules I was told I didn't listen to. I'd have been called "desperate" for doing what I do. Did I care ? Nope, if a girl didn't like how I am I was glad to find the next. That's the way to really find someone you match with.
There are no guidelines. Send a couple messages, get her number text her a bit and ask her to meet up.
Following dating rules are for the people who will never find someone they truly enjoy.
Exactly.. no rules. It's when it feels right. That might be two messages, that might be 20. It just depends on the woman, her personality, and how things are going. Go with your gut.
We've only had 2 message exchanges thus far, but would like to get some guidelines on how long I should wait between messaging back to her (12 hours? 2 days?), how much I should message her before asking her to a date if there's interest, and any other tips!
I say e-mail the spot you want to meet at, time, date and all and keep your message sounding fun and brief. Ex, "I look forward to sharing a plate of escragot with you.. haha blah blah" and keep it simple.
Then when you meet up, if you like that person, exchange #s. Phone each other up. Text only when necessary.
If you don't hit it off, you can save the awkwardness by saying: "Nice meeting you. I'm glad we met but I don't think we share much in common. Take care."
Jumping first into phone conversations may still not mesh up with what you see in real life. Meet first, then exchange numbers. Or exchange numbers last minute and text only the location to tell them your arrival.
I say e-mail the spot you want to meet at, time, date and all and keep your message sounding fun and brief. Ex, "I look forward to sharing a plate of escragot with you.. haha blah blah" and keep it simple.
Then when you meet up, if you like that person, exchange #s. Phone each other up. Text only when necessary.
If you don't hit it off, you can save the awkwardness by saying: "Nice meeting you. I'm glad we met but I don't think we share much in common. Take care."
Jumping first into phone conversations may still not mesh up with what you see in real life. Meet first, then exchange numbers. Or exchange numbers last minute and text only the location to tell them your arrival.
I might consider pushing for a quicker meeting. The last woman she lived a bit far 90 minutes, reached out to me, messaged back and forth, and says we should talk on phone once or twice because of distance.
On the phone it's a bit hard to hear her because she is reserved and can't carry a conversation well. Then it drifts and we end up spending 30 minutes talking on the phone and decide not a good fit.
Since I am new to OLD I am not sure if I should be thankful I flushed out a dud or it was a mistake to talk that long without meeting up first.
I don't give out my number until I've met someone in person and got an impression based on my instincts first. I consider a phone number to be "PID" (personally identifying information) and since I don't ever want to have to change my number or want anyone using it irresponsibly, or against me, I wait until I get an in person impression of whether I want the guy to have it.
There are things I wish every man would do with regard to OLD:
READ HER PROFILE. If she writes in there what she is looking for and what she's about, and you're the absolute opposite, then don't reach out to her just because she's cute, hoping to change her mind or at least get lucky. If she took the time to write it, you ought to respect it.
If she has written a lengthy and eloquent, brainy sort of a profile, then do not send her a first message (or second or third) that says "hi how u doin wanna meet ur hot" or you will be ignored. You appear to be a moron, and she obviously is hoping for someone with language skills above approximately the third grade. You don't need to write a dissertation, but it should be at least 3-5 sentences, preferably more, and should touch upon why you think she would enjoy meeting you based on what she provided in her profile.
If you are operating on the level of "ur hot wanna hook up" then restrict your activities to the kind of women who would be receptive to that, in other words the ones who use lots of emoticons and "omg lol I like shots woo i wanna be ur bae!" in their profiles. And may you have the joy of one another.
BE HONEST about what YOU'RE looking for. Honest with yourself and others. If you're wanting to play the field, don't advertise for a soulmate or a faithful monogamous relationship and if you need someone to be part of your life and help raise your kids, don't pretend that you are cool with a FWB, while secretly hoping you'll get more.
There is no "wait X amt of time before making contact." The simple rule is back and forth. Wait until she responds. Then reply. Then wait...if she replies right away, you can respond right away. No need to wait. This is called a "conversation."
If someone gives you a negative response to a first message (or second or third) please take it at face value and do not argue with it or try to change their mind. A "thanks but no thanks" should never be taken as "I replied so you should be encouraged to persist." If I say you're not what I'm looking for, I am not playing hard to get.
If the other party doesn't respond to multiple attempts to make contact, stop bothering them. They see your message, and are ignoring it for their own reasons. If they are suddenly "busy" ALL THE TIME and don't say, "but early next week looks free" or whatever...if you get "I've got a lot going on, no idea when things will clear up, but I'll let you know when I can make some time to meet up." That is the other person dodging you, most likely. Don't invest much of your interest in this person. They're not that into you.
These are some of the more common observations I've had so far...
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i wanna be ur bae!" in their profiles. And may you have the joy of one another.
