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How could someone be so reckless with a person's feelings? Relationships are about trust and communication. I didn't deserve to be treated like that. I felt that I was a great boyfriend.
Treated like what? Would you rather she wait until after you've paid for a nice meal and had sex to spring it on you? String you along for months on end while she kept one eye peeled for someone she liked more?
What happened here is she doesn't feel the way about you the way you feel about her, and as you walked along, she was getting up the courage to tell you.
It sucks that she broke things off with you, but she wasn't reckless with your feelings by a long shot. With the exception of the one you marry, all relationships end (and even marriage isn't a gimme anymore). She handled it very well. You weren't dating that long. It happens. Pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and be glad this didn't happen several years down the road.
I could really use some advice on what I am dealing with right now. I am still trying to process what happened and my emotions are all over the map.
Last fall, I decided I needed to go out and meet new people and make new friends. I found this newly formed group that met weekly at a local hangout for bar trivia. We are all in our late 20's or early 30's, and everyone hit if off.
A couple months ago, one of the girls asked the group if anyone wanted to go to the batting cages so she could prep for softball season. I told her I would go and we met up a few days later. This was the first time we had spent time together outside of the group and we clicked.
We began spending more time together one evening she asked "so what are we doing here?". I told her I was looking for a relationship and she told me we were on the same page. We continued the normal group activities as well as doing typical bf/gf activities. We had a lot in common as well as chemistry/passion/intimacy so I began to develop feelings for her.
A few days ago, she casually asks if I wanted to go for a walk after work since the weather was nice. I agreed and we met up. We were walking along this trail and holding hands as she talked to me about her day. Towards the end of the walk, her tone changed and she said basically said:
"There is something else I wanted to talk to you about. I am not sure I have the feelings you are supposed to have in a relationship."
I was completely stunned and let go of her hand. I felt like someone had just pushed me off a mountain. I asked "Are you saying you don't want to be in a relationship anymore?" and she said yes. I tried but couldn't get a better explanation out of her.
I was really happy in this relationship and did not see signs of anything wrong. We weren't fighting, she wasn't being distant, and she was still affectionate.
I just don't understand what happened. I'm still trying to make sense out of all of it.
How could someone be so reckless with a person's feelings? Relationships are about trust and communication. I didn't deserve to be treated like that. I felt that I was a great boyfriend.
- A
Sorry that you are in pain...But, when you calm down, you'll see that she did trust you enough to share the truth with you.
Eventually, you'll appreciate that she communicated honestly because you will find someone that will feel the same about you, as you do them. Then you'll understand.
Sometimes we cannot explain why our heart does not feel love for someone that we genuinely care about....there is no easy answer....it just is.
Take some time to regroup...please remember that you are important to all your friends, and it is likely once you get your breath back...you'll be alright, if not even better...Continue with your outings and your group events, you need that, especially right now.
Don't give your heart away so fast...relationships of value take some real time. Best to you.
Treated like what? Would you rather she wait until after you've paid for a nice meal and had sex to spring it on you? String you along for months on end while she kept one eye peeled for someone she liked more?
What happened here is she doesn't feel the way about you the way you feel about her, and as you walked along, she was getting up the courage to tell you.
It sucks that she broke things off with you, but she wasn't reckless with your feelings by a long shot. With the exception of the one you marry, all relationships end (and even marriage isn't a gimme anymore). She handled it very well. You weren't dating that long. It happens. Pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and be glad this didn't happen several years down the road.
I have to agree. Somebody not returning your feelings is always a bummer, and it's not wrong to feel disappointed by that.
But she didn't string you along for years, to drop the bomb on you after significant time and periods of your life have been sunk into the relationship, that she feels nothing. People do that. Trust me.
She didn't lie to you, go behind your back to build relationships with other people while dating you, she told you very early on after giving it a shot to see if it would work for her. I don't think that your feelings were treated in a cavalier manner. It sounds like she legitimately tried to give things a try, but couldn't make it work. Ultimately, she was honest with you, and early on. I'm pretty impatient with others leading people on, but in this case, from what you say, I honestly don't think that your feelings were treated recklessly.
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