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Well you. Can go for. Hobbies and half the time women can be like they don't want to get to know you. They show up with. Their girlfriends and when you ask them out for a coffee date they still turn you down.
But just walking up and asking a woman out rarely works. If you're into a hobby or some kind of event, you approach and start a conversation. Talk about the event, and have some fun and laughs with that. Then you'd work toward asking her some questions about herself, and telling her about you. etc.
But just a random approach with "Wanna go for coffee" is not flattering, smooth, and seems like the person has no kind of social graces.
Had guys do that to me. Walk up to me, and ask for my phone number. And some of them, I didn't even get their name. They didn't think to even introduce themselves. Just come over, and ask "Can I have your phone number?" No prior conversation or socialization of any kind. It comes off as pathetic. Except for 1 guy, who approached me just to stare in my face, and stop and stare at me whenever he saw me, before leaving. He came across as a creeper, along with another guy who did the same thing.
Basically, that's too forward. You have to lay some ground work before just asking a woman for a date or meet-up somewhere. Even with Online dating, you exchange messages and actually converse for a bit. Then if all goes well, you decide on a place to meet.
If you aren't getting the result you want, the problem is with you. Not women in general, or other men. Lots of men who aren't rich, and who may even be considered ugly still get women. My friend's boyfriend is far from hot. She even said she admits he's not cute. but that she's crazy about him, and finds him sexy after having gotten to know him. She also says other girls have asked him out.
So, basically, these random strangers aren't interested in you because you aren't rich, don't come from a broken home, aren't a famous hottie, have some problem with Facebook, etc. It has nothing to do with YOU - right? Okay.
Well many women want guys who come from rich families . It seems like that because they grew up in fancy suburban areas and had messed up parents and if you are a self made man and from a good family that doesn't count anymore.
But just walking up and asking a woman out rarely works. If you're into a hobby or some kind of event, you approach and start a conversation. Talk about the event, and have some fun and laughs with that. Then you'd work toward asking her some questions about herself, and telling her about you. etc.
But just a random approach with "Wanna go for coffee" is not flattering, smooth, and seems like the person has no kind of social graces.
Had guys do that to me. Walk up to me, and ask for my phone number. And some of them, I didn't even get their name. They didn't think to even introduce themselves. Just come over, and ask "Can I have your phone number?" No prior conversation or socialization of any kind. It comes off as pathetic. Except for 1 guy, who approached me just to stare in my face, and stop and stare at me whenever he saw me, before leaving. He came across as a creeper, along with another guy who did the same thing.
That's not the type of approaching I'm talking about.
Quote:
Originally Posted by VanillaChocolate
Basically, that's too forward. You have to lay some ground work before just asking a woman for a date or meet-up somewhere. Even with Online dating, you exchange messages and actually converse for a bit. Then if all goes well, you decide on a place to meet.
Well many women want guys who come from rich families . It seems like that because they grew up in fancy suburban areas and had messed up parents and if you are a self made man and from a good family that doesn't count anymore.
Well, many married couples are not rich and are not from rich families. I'd say actually the majority of the population are not rich and are not from rich families. So I'm not sure why you are so fixated on this having anything to do with why random women don't seem to be interested in you.
I'm pretty sure that the issue is you and how you are approaching women.
Well many women want guys who come from rich families . It seems like that because they grew up in fancy suburban areas and had messed up parents and if you are a self made man and from a good family that doesn't count anymore.
I wouldn't necessarily say women want men who come from rich families because women generally go for what's in their social class. So if a women is poor she will generally go for poor guys or middle class. If she's rich, then she will generally go for other rich guys of her class.
Of course, it all comes down to how her family raised her and how her family was. If she is rich, but her family is broken, she could end up with the poor guy who also has a broken family because they simply connect.
There's a lot more psychology behind this but that's just the basic understanding.
1) Foreign-born
2) English-as-a-second-language
3) Posting on a cell phone
Choose all that apply.
I think what a lot of the women have told you is right, OP. You have to be able to see what others see and act accordingly. The cold approach usually doesn't work on women your age, because even if you're a nice guy, you're a stranger. It's one thing to strike up a conversation with a woman in a social setting, but read a room. If you're really trying to meet women your age, try some social clubs and online dating. It's perfectly fine to strike up conversations in these settings because the women there are looking for the same thing.
I wouldn't necessarily say women want men who come from rich families because women generally go for what's in their social class. So if a women is poor she will generally go for poor guys or middle class. If she's rich, then she will generally go for other rich guys of her class.
Of course, it all comes down to how her family raised her and how her family was. If she is rich, but her family is broken, she could end up with the poor guy who also has a broken family because they simply connect.
There's a lot more psychology behind this but that's just the basic understanding.
Yeah, I agree that there is one connection already, both of the couple coming from broken homes. And also how she was raised. If her parents raised her to be rude and not respectful to others obviously she is going to go look for a guy who treats others with no respect and it seems from women I dated in the past they always want that guy who treats others with no respect and even his own parents with no respect. Whereas I love my parents with all of my heart and she might not like a guy like that, and it seems a lot of women in the United States especially want guys like that who mouth off to their parents . Maybe that is how she sees them as being fun and all
Yeah, I agree that there is one connection already, both of the couple coming from broken homes. And also how she was raised. If her parents raised her to be rude and not respectful to others obviously she is going to go look for a guy who treats others with no respect and it seems from women I dated in the past they always want that guy who treats others with no respect and even his own parents with no respect. Whereas I love my parents with all of my heart and she might not like a guy like that, and it seems a lot of women in the United States especially want guys like that who mouth off to their parents . Maybe that is how she sees them as being fun and all
You get all this just from a cold approach? Really?
1) Foreign-born
2) English-as-a-second-language
3) Posting on a cell phone
Choose all that apply.
I think what a lot of the women have told you is right, OP. You have to be able to see what others see and act accordingly. The cold approach usually doesn't work on women your age, because even if you're a nice guy, you're a stranger. It's one thing to strike up a conversation with a woman in a social setting, but read a room. If you're really trying to meet women your age, try some social clubs and online dating. It's perfectly fine to strike up conversations in these settings because the women there are looking for the same thing.
Women expect a man to be that anyway. You have to be a lot more than nice, funny and respectful in 2015.
Well if a women can't accept a guys behavior as s good person and respectful. Then she is the one with problem. It seems the all she wants is drama. And if she can't accept someone with a good attitude then she must come from a crappy upbringing. Seems like 2015 and going into the future will only get worse for dating
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