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Over the last couple of months, since about January, I became really close with a male colleague of mine. I am currently a nutrition major and I regularly post many of my accomplishments via Facebook where I am friends with many of my work colleagues. He started texting me regularly on fitness and nutrition information that he would find and was helpful with some suggestions on class assignments. I am 40yrs old pursing my second career and he is 31 computer tech guy at my office. We spoke on the phone regularly, text regularly- Everday- and he was always very attentive with me at work always taking time to have conversations from politics to education to world matters.
He asked me out various occasions but school keeps me very busy but I promised that as soon as finals were over I would make time. He confessed to me on Mothers Day weekend that he had "taken" to me and that he was interested - If only I was 27, 28 or 29 years old. He said I would be more than his "sister" if I was younger. But in the same breath he was asking if he could take his "sister" to a new restaurant he found in upper Manhattan.
I was a little offended and confused and a little tipsy I must confess from drinking. So I "volunteered" to be his wingwoman because I thought that he was saying I was too old to date. I never thought he would actually take me serious on that offer until we were at work Monday evening and he wrote his name on a card and asked me to pass it along to a patient in the waiting room. And then proceeded to text to make sure she got it when she came in the next time. I was a little irritated to say the least and before I left for class I let him know in no uncertain terms that he needed to ask his friends to do that not me. Later on he text me a very long apology and said he would not repeat that in the future. I told him to forget about it and that we were all good. But things have not been the same at all. I miss my friendship with him very much.
He is known to be big flirt with many people at work but has turned his attention to a young lady in the office. I'm not bothered by that but I am bothered that we don't have the friendship we used to have. He text me recently after the passing of a family member and sent me a beautiful condolence. He is always giving me long looks at work and hitting my chair --purposely I think- when passing my desk.
He called me late night after an office party recently to make sure I got home but quickly got off the phone. I figured we squashed any misunderstanding we may have had but it just seems awkward now. I always catch him glancing at me, staring, sometimes a coy smile and I wonder why we just can't talk like we used to regardless if he has moved on to someone else in the office.
Have I done something wrong? Is there any way to recoup the friendship?
He is known to be big flirt with many people at work but has turned his attention to a young lady in the office.
It sounds like he was doing to you what he apparently does to most women there.
I doubt you can recoup the friendship only because I doubt he was truly being a friend in the first place. I think he was testing the waters, but he balked when you didn't jump at it right away.
Yes it's really about friendship. I'm always up to add someone new to my circle and he's smart and we carried on really well conversation wise and personality wise.
I just figured we would still be cool and carry on as usual. I maintain my same easygoing nature with all my coworkers. I haven't changed just because I had what I consider a minor disagreement with someone.
But he acts just unusually strange around me and I don't see what the big deal is.
Yes it's really about friendship. I'm always up to add someone new to my circle and he's smart and we carried on really well conversation wise and personality wise.
I just figured we would still be cool and carry on as usual. I maintain my same easygoing nature with all my coworkers. I haven't changed just because I had what I consider a minor disagreement with someone.
But he acts just unusually strange around me and I don't see what the big deal is.
I don't think its him posting on forums about you, OP.
Put it out of your mind - he's hardly worth it imo.
I believe he led you on before he let you know you are too old for him as a romantic interest. Now it sounds like he is teasing you and still leading you on. He is really insecure.
And this.....
"He is always giving me long looks at work and hitting my chair --purposely I think- when passing my desk."
....where is your desk? In a grade school? Both of you sound a bit immature.
If you had continued your friendship, it would have been worse. You would have started caring more for him, not only as a friend, and his little games in the office would have broken your heart. The guy may be charming and interesting, but he doesn't have a serious interest in you as a friend or a romantic one and he's going to disappoint some of the women you work with. The interest he's taken in the new girl will fade soon, then there will be another one...Be glad you're starting to see him for what he really is, the office flirt, and don't let him bring his insecurities drama in your life. You really don't need that kind of stress and tension at work.
I believe he led you on before he let you know you are too old for him as a romantic interest. Now it sounds like he is teasing you and still leading you on. He is really insecure.
And this.....
"He is always giving me long looks at work and hitting my chair --purposely I think- when passing my desk."
....where is your desk? In a grade school? Both of you sound a bit immature.
No I work in private doctor office. I don't think its immature on my part at all. I am still professional and amicable with my fellow coworkers but his behavior is odd to say the least. And yes a bit insecure.
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