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Old 06-18-2015, 09:16 PM
 
1,568 posts, read 1,115,041 times
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With me all relationships tend to start out perfect, once we get past that "I dont know where I stand" phase, then we get to the best part, where we are hanging out all the time, humping like bunnies, talking to each other on the phone when not in person etc etc..... then what usually what happens is she starts getting back to her old routine and it feels like she is trying to squeeze me into her old life without breaking anything.

Then one of 3 things usually happen.

A. I say something about it and get labeled needy or clingy.(even though I am not the one who changed)

B. I say nothing hoping its just temporary and break up when it does not change back.

C. Try to pull in tighter and that never works out well.


What I find most strange is when i break up with someone for that reason, they either act surprised or angry, even though they were the ones that seemed to lose interest in the first place.
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Old 06-19-2015, 12:08 AM
 
Location: Polynesia
2,704 posts, read 1,825,685 times
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Fast burning fires tend to burn out quickly. It sounds like once the initial excitement of a new relationship subsides, there's nothing left to hold their interests.
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Old 06-19-2015, 09:06 AM
 
2,600 posts, read 3,678,367 times
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The more you see the person, the quicker it wears off. It's a chemical in the brain that essentially switches from "honeymoon" to "comfort." It's a natural progression of a relationship. Some people become addicted to the "honeymoon" feeling, though, which is why they can't make a relationship last. As soon as that chemical is no longer producing those feelings, they move onto the next person so they can feel it again. It's probably part of having an addictive personality.
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Old 06-19-2015, 09:06 AM
 
613 posts, read 359,562 times
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Yeah it's sad when one side cools off sooner than the other one. It has happened to me but it's easy to handle for me, since there is a lot of love and compatibility. Sometimes you just need to man up (if you're a man lol)
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Old 06-20-2015, 06:00 AM
 
Location: Reno, NV
5,987 posts, read 10,449,819 times
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The greater the compatibility, the longer the honeymoon period, IMO. The initial infatuation is hormonal, and typically wears off within two years. If you haven't established a strong, loving relationship based in actions and deeds by then, the love fades too. However, it's a function of both commitment to keep doing loving things and compatibility that carries you through to grow bonds that are deeper than hormonal infatuation.

For us, it feels like the honeymoon period has never worn off even after 15 years. We are extremely compatible and highly value each other and the relationship - it's the best part of our lives.
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Old 06-20-2015, 06:08 AM
 
4,078 posts, read 5,400,248 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by cyphorx View Post
With me all relationships tend to start out perfect, once we get past that "I dont know where I stand" phase, then we get to the best part, where we are hanging out all the time, humping like bunnies, talking to each other on the phone when not in person etc etc..... then what usually what happens is she starts getting back to her old routine and it feels like she is trying to squeeze me into her old life without breaking anything.

Then one of 3 things usually happen.

A. I say something about it and get labeled needy or clingy.(even though I am not the one who changed)

B. I say nothing hoping its just temporary and break up when it does not change back.

C. Try to pull in tighter and that never works out well.


What I find most strange is when i break up with someone for that reason, they either act surprised or angry, even though they were the ones that seemed to lose interest in the first place.
She's probably peaked off of her Oxytocin and love can mimic hormones that induce morphine like addictions.

In order to stay on that high, what's most important is that you are friends first, and second, you share the same values that point you in the same direction. Otherwise, it's just another love show waiting to end. No sustenance. Love can still maintain its power of passion and lust, only if you do it mentally as a couple together. Learn new exciting things. Continue to grow as a pair. Once people become complacent, they stagnate, and.. the inevitable happens. You need to have a sense of purpose beyond just being a "couple."
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Old 06-22-2015, 12:00 AM
 
1,568 posts, read 1,115,041 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Immerse View Post
Yeah it's sad when one side cools off sooner than the other one. It has happened to me but it's easy to handle for me, since there is a lot of love and compatibility. Sometimes you just need to man up (if you're a man lol)
Sadly for me those feeling from the honeymoon phase never wear off until the next relationship. thats why after a breakup I avoid places we went together.

unlike many evil people those hormones dont just shut off in me.
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Old 06-22-2015, 12:31 AM
 
Location: So Cal
19,261 posts, read 15,146,341 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by TaoistDude View Post
The greater the compatibility, the longer the honeymoon period, IMO. The initial infatuation is hormonal, and typically wears off within two years. If you haven't established a strong, loving relationship based in actions and deeds by then, the love fades too. However, it's a function of both commitment to keep doing loving things and compatibility that carries you through to grow bonds that are deeper than hormonal infatuation.

For us, it feels like the honeymoon period has never worn off even after 15 years. We are extremely compatible and highly value each other and the relationship - it's the best part of our lives.
I agree, in the two longest-lasting relationships I've had, that phase did seem to last about two years. That's actually a pretty long time when you think about it.
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Old 06-22-2015, 01:49 PM
 
2,362 posts, read 1,915,502 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Butterflyfish View Post
Fast burning fires tend to burn out quickly. It sounds like once the initial excitement of a new relationship subsides, there's nothing left to hold their interests.
this
I have a friends of a friend who gets into these...burns hot...all over facebook how awesome he is, how awesome he and her iss, how great life is, how empowered real love makes her...then over night he is a dkic, cant get it up, a loser, then she dumps him...then months later, happens again...she has even gotten engaged a couple times...she is now 45 and on her 8th mr better then the rest...honeymoon period lasts a few months so im waiting a few weeks before skid marks, or snoring, or the fact that he doesn't leave her love notes on the pillow start showing up on FB instead of tales of their marathon love making or his ability to build stuff out of lint and tooth pics...sigh'

she is so cool in between these relation****s I don't have the heart to unfriend her
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Old 08-18-2015, 07:51 PM
 
1,568 posts, read 1,115,041 times
Reputation: 1676
Quote:
Originally Posted by ShinyHappyLucy View Post
The more you see the person, the quicker it wears off. It's a chemical in the brain that essentially switches from "honeymoon" to "comfort." It's a natural progression of a relationship. Some people become addicted to the "honeymoon" feeling, though, which is why they can't make a relationship last. As soon as that chemical is no longer producing those feelings, they move onto the next person so they can feel it again. It's probably part of having an addictive personality.
For me those feelings don't wear off unless something changes.
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