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Hello all,
I'm going to jump right into it. Okay, I'm married and have been for over 6 years now. We had our problems in the beginning but managed to get through them together. Recently, I told my husband, I wanted a divorce, I told him that I still loved him but not in-love with him any more. But after a while, I felt bad on how he was acting and how down he was and took it back. He's a great husband, supportive, faithful (well now he is), and everything. He's amazing, it's just that he stepped out on me once (over 2 yrs ago) and for some reason, I haven't forgotten it. I mean, I let him back into my life with a clear slay but deep down I put my guard up and haven't let it down. I've been seeing a therapist and everything. I do love him but I don't want to be without him. It's crazy or maybe I'm just crazy. He has totally changed from when that happened. I want to leave but I'm scared, I mean, we just bought our new home (a year ago) and I just start working at good paying job, but still not enough to get by on my own... I'm going out of town for a couple of months due to work and will make a lot of extra cash, I figured, I'd switch bank accounts while I'm gone and ask for a divorce again... I don't know, I don't want to hurt his feelings but at the same time, I also want to be happy. This is killing me... What's wrong with Me????
REPLY: You need a Marriage Tuneup, not a divorce to run from problems and challenges even if they are very real. Now is the time to work like h___ to get your marriage put right again and its going to require you to work on your resentment issues. PLEASE...dont be another statistic of a failed marriage when it can be saved ; tell your husband that you love him but you both need outside professional help to make your marriage what it once was. For good written resources and to listen to a call in Radio Show with folks like yourself, go to New Life Ministries: 1-800-NEW-LIFE. Based on what youve shared in your post, divorce is not your answer. Regards.
Marriage is not a joke. He cheated on you, but that was two years back. It is so tough to find a loving partner, especially he is on the guilty side and will pamper you all his life because of that. Six years you have invested in him, and that is the end of it??? Life is not easy when you are alone. You can meet other people, have hot sex, and it all seems like fun. But the one who says 'this is my wife/ husband of 50 years', man, that sounds so wonderful. Looks like you are a child that has only grown up in years. But your maturity level is not enough to understand the responsibility that marriage brings up. It is not a joke to break your marriage. When everything is going great, why would you ruin it? This kind of thinking does not make sense to me. I was 18 when I got married, and have already invested 11 years of my life in it!!! Two nights back, I had cleaned and waxed the car, and my hands hurt like hell. My husband could see that I woke freuently in the night, in a sub conscious state, and was moaning in pain. The second he held my elbow, which was breaking apart, he said I relaxed and slept like a baby. I recognize him deep in my soul, and no one can give the ease that he gives me. He has seen me in all my wildness and bad hair days. And he loved me the same all the while. He does not look like Brad Pitt, and I no Angelina Jolie. But he is the sexiest thing in this universe, and he gets wild when I tease him. We put in a lot of effort to make this work. Honetly, we would have divorced each other atleast 50 times, but we kept it going because the bottom line was we loved each other. When I am 60, which is quite a long way, I would be sooooooooooooooooo proud of myself for having stayed with my man from the time I was 18. He comes home at the end of the day just to see me smile and give him that bear hug. Even last night, I woke him up in the middle of the night and behaved very mischiviously, and he paid me for it. Fun, fun , fun.....how can you throw it all away and just leave? Everything needs an effort, especially marriage. Being married to the same man, loving him, and being faithful to each other, forgiving, sacrifice, and all of these responsibilities will make people respect you for your integrity and people will never mess with you. Married women, who are strong willed about making their marriages work will always have that sepcial respect in this world. I would have adviced you otherwise if your husband was abusive and treated you real bad. Rethink your marriage, because there are tonnes (I have seen for myself) single women out there who did not get married at the right time, and are now literally on their knees (no matter how much they earn) for the security of that one man. I am not kidding. Check it out for yourself, and you will see your man in a new light. Do not mess up your own life and ruin what seems to be a perfect life for yourself and your man.
I left with $100 and a fork and am living the quality of live I only dreamt of when I was married.
Now that right there is a great start to a short story....I love this line and I totally agree. I bought some pink glass plates and hid them in the garage until I was finally brave enough to take off. I love those plates and feel blissfully happy every time I use them. To me they are my freedom. And I have to say every day I love my simple happy peaceful life now.
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