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I'll be honest, I do get restless sometimes, but the occasional reality check serves as a reminder that I've got a good thing going, and not to take it for granted. Benn married for 15 years and we're still crazy about each other, so I'm a lucky gal.
I'll be honest, I do get restless sometimes, but the occasional reality check serves as a reminder that I've got a good thing going, and not to take it for granted. Benn married for 15 years and we're still crazy about each other, so I'm a lucky gal.
You are! Gives me hope for the future after reading some of the relationship horror stories here abouts.
As I get older(41y/o) the more I have a desire to get into a long term relationship and I think more about marriage.
Now that I have a certain level of maturity and appreciation for certain aspects of life, I feel even more than ever it is very important to share my life in a serious long term relationship.
Anyone feel as if a long term relationship is the right fit for them also?
The great irony is that by the time a long-term, committed relationship appeals to many men who put them off, such a relationship is no longer appealing to many women. In that sense, looking for someone a little bit younger (mid-30s, etc.) makes sense logically.
In my late 40s, been on my own for almost a year and a half now, and I can honestly say that I do not miss anything about being in a long-term relationship that I can't get in a more casual one, and no man, aside from perhaps my ex-husband, has ever given me anything close to the emotional support my friends have, or that he, himself, expected from a partner. Perhaps I've just been with selfish or demanding men, but I hear it enough from other women in all walks of life that I tend to think it's more about institutionalized entitlement than anything else. Also, I don't miss the garbage and sacrifice that goes along with an LTR--command performances at holidays, having to consider someone else's needs or how my decisions affect someone else, having to compromise and work through problems, etc.
When I want to show someone I value them by doing small things like cooking a nice meal, surprising them with a gift, or doing a favor, I can do that for my friends, so I don't even miss the joy of giving and bringing a smile to someone's face in an LTR. If anything, it's more rewarding to do it for my friends now. The single ones don't often see or expect such kindness, so they appreciate it more. There's more of a return on emotional investment with them.
The great irony is that by the time a long-term, committed relationship appeals to many men who put them off, such a relationship is no longer appealing to many women. In that sense, looking for someone a little bit younger (mid-30s, etc.) makes sense logically.
In my late 40s, been on my own for almost a year and a half now, and I can honestly say that I do not miss anything about being in a long-term relationship that I can't get in a more casual one, and no man, aside from perhaps my ex-husband, has ever given me anything close to the emotional support my friends have, or that he, himself, expected from a partner. Perhaps I've just been with selfish or demanding men, but I hear it enough from other women in all walks of life that I tend to think it's more about institutionalized entitlement than anything else. Also, I don't miss the garbage and sacrifice that goes along with an LTR--command performances at holidays, having to consider someone else's needs or how my decisions affect someone else, having to compromise and work through problems, etc.
When I want to show someone I value them by doing small things like cooking a nice meal, surprising them with a gift, or doing a favor, I can do that for my friends, so I don't even miss the joy of giving and bringing a smile to someone's face in an LTR. If anything, it's more rewarding to do it for my friends now. The single ones don't often see or expect such kindness, so they appreciate it more. There's more of a return on emotional investment with them.
I understand where you're coming from and I'm over 10 years younger than you. I have very little bad baggage that I carry around while dating. It's hard to hear a lot of the crazy things that women have put up with with their past ex's. It can make things harder for me, because there's likely things I do that will remind them of their ex in a bad way.
It just gets harder and more frustrating for me to date. Sometimes I wonder if I'm too settled in my career and I didn't have enough hiccups and wrong turns in my life. I'm definitely at the stage where's I'm ready to have a settled and monogamous relationship. Just what I've gotten the last couple of years has not amounted to that.
I actually miss the feeling of looking your woman in the eye and telling her that you love her for the first time. I miss being a hopeless romantic in a long-term relationship. I'm always the sweet guy on my dates, but I'm just not meeting the right women in the process. It makes me sad to be honest.....
I understand where you're coming from and I'm over 10 years younger than you. I have very little bad baggage that I carry around while dating. It's hard to hear a lot of the crazy things that women have put up with with their past ex's. It can make things harder for me, because there's likely things I do that will remind them of their ex in a bad way.
It just gets harder and more frustrating for me to date. Sometimes I wonder if I'm too settled in my career and I didn't have enough hiccups and wrong turns in my life. I'm definitely at the stage where's I'm ready to have a settled and monogamous relationship. Just what I've gotten the last couple of years has not amounted to that.
I actually miss the feeling of looking your woman in the eye and telling her that you love her for the first time. I miss being a hopeless romantic in a long-term relationship. I'm always the sweet guy on my dates, but I'm just not meeting the right women in the process. It makes me sad to be honest.....
You're in your early 30s, I believe? Yes? You're right on time to want to settle down, though. The trick is finding someone at the same point on the same trajectory. Right about now is when women often start looking for the same things, themselves. They may have exes, and yes, you might do things that remind them of those exes, but if they've gotten any wisdom from their experiences, they'll know not to hold that against you because in the end, you are not the ex. They'll take you on your merits. That's the kind of person who has the stuff of success in a relationship.
You'll get there, because you're also willing to step back and look at yourself objectively, too. When it happens--and it will--you two will be like a rock and join the other folks on here who are happily paired off. And your advice will be that much more valuable because it comes from experience, too, because right now is a hiccup for you.
The great irony is that by the time a long-term, committed relationship appeals to many men who put them off, such a relationship is no longer appealing to many women. In that sense, looking for someone a little bit younger (mid-30s, etc.) makes sense logically.
In my late 40s, been on my own for almost a year and a half now, and I can honestly say that I do not miss anything about being in a long-term relationship that I can't get in a more casual one, and no man, aside from perhaps my ex-husband, has ever given me anything close to the emotional support my friends have, or that he, himself, expected from a partner. Perhaps I've just been with selfish or demanding men, but I hear it enough from other women in all walks of life that I tend to think it's more about institutionalized entitlement than anything else. Also, I don't miss the garbage and sacrifice that goes along with an LTR--command performances at holidays, having to consider someone else's needs or how my decisions affect someone else, having to compromise and work through problems, etc.
When I want to show someone I value them by doing small things like cooking a nice meal, surprising them with a gift, or doing a favor, I can do that for my friends, so I don't even miss the joy of giving and bringing a smile to someone's face in an LTR. If anything, it's more rewarding to do it for my friends now. The single ones don't often see or expect such kindness, so they appreciate it more. There's more of a return on emotional investment with them.
Location: Huntersville/Charlotte, NC and Washington, DC
26,700 posts, read 41,718,665 times
Reputation: 41376
Quote:
Originally Posted by Rocco Barbosa
Why some of you are posting your answers to why you do not want to be in a relationship is beyond me.
Your thread title said "who wants to be in a LTR" NOT "only post if you really want to be in LTR". You don't get to determine the responses you actually get. Not everyone is going to say yes to a LTR.
even though I have pretty much given up, in my heart i want a lifetime monogamous partner but unfortunately, most people today want FWB but call it LTR.
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