Is it strange for a 24 year old guy to be single by choice? (therapy, family)
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If you are satisfied with your decision then that's really all that matters. What other people think is not important. I'm in a very good relationship now, but I have spent a good portion of my life on own and have zero regrets.
If you are happy and satisfied with your life, and not being in a relationship or involved with somebody is something that really feels right to you, where's the problem?
I don't believe that would ever happen...women have better instincts for this and they can easily sense when someone is not available. But if that happened I would show signs I'm not available in a discreet manner.
I admire your resolve, OP. I couldn't do it at your age; passing up all the hot tail.
Since you are asking...., yeah I find it odd. Primarily because I believe you express the opinion "that nothing good could come out of a romantic relationship with someone like myself". That strikes me as very sad. That rather than trying to work on emotional issues that prevent you from dealing with frustration, other's expectations, you choose to deny any possibility of an intimate relationship. Friends are great but if you can maintain friendships, what prevents you from a deeper relationship? If I felt that way, I would be inclined to seek some therapy to explore my feelings and beliefs. I'm not saying that people who choose to be single are mentally ill. I'm saying that you define yourself as someone who is incapable of an intimate relationship. Could it be that you fear intimacy and that fear is so difficult to face that you choose a life alone? That is a bit different than having zero desire for one.
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Wallcrisp
I don't believe that would ever happen...women have better instincts for this and they can easily sense when someone is not available. But if that happened I would show signs I'm not available in a discreet manner.
I'm a 24 year old man. I've never had a girlfriend or any kind of intimate contact with a woman. I'm currently taking my master's in mechanical engineering.
Apart from being busy with my studies, I grew up in a difficult home environment and have a lot of trouble dealing with frustration, anxiety and other people's expectations, especially on a more intimate level (friendships and so). I also have a difficult temper at home which makes domestic life rather hard when I'm around.
So with all this in the mixture, it seemed like the natural choice to decide to stay single for life. I have absolutely nothing against women...there are the good and the bad just like everything else in life. I have nothing against relationships, all of my friends are in one and fortunately most of them happy. My own brother has a terrific girlfriend as well.
I have many good friends, both male and female. We always have plans for weekends, I exercise a lot as well and have plenty of hobbies (cinema, music, reading, plane spotting, etc).
Simply nothing good could come out of a romantic relationship with someone like myself so I invest a lot in my friendships...I believe friends can be for life.
Obviously this is also an easy decision for me because no woman has ever shown any interest in me...I have a few friends that could never keep such a decision because all women fall at their feet.
Is this a very odd choice in my generation?
You sound totally fine to me. Whether you ever choose to marry or not is your choice and think your knowing yourself this well is a plus in your column. At some point you may change your mind but honestly,24 is way too young to marry. Get your degree, and work and live anywhere in the world that will benefit you.Good luck
There's absolutely nothing wrong with being single for life, and it's certainly smart at the age of 24. Having said that, you're very young. You might change your mind in the future if you feel in a better emotional position. Then again, if you don't, that's cool, too. There are no rules.
OP, you're in college. So you have access to free counseling. Please consider getting some to help resolve your family-background issues, the anxiety, etc. This is the only time in your life when you'll have access to FREE counseling. It would be wise to take advantage of it. Once you get over the difficult emotional history, you'll naturally make different choices. You won't have to self-isolate. Life will become richer and more rewarding. Think about it. You deserve happiness in lieu of anxiety, frustration, and a temperamental nature. You really can turn this around, with the right therapist. This does not have to be the status quo for the rest of your life.
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