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Sorry, but this really is saying skater/hipster/and punk girls can't be hot. Or I read it this way. Nothing is further from the truth.
True. Part of the problem in my mind at the time was that we don't know what the OP's definition of "hot" is. We're trying to respond to his post and address his concerns while having no idea what he goes for as "hot". It doesn't make for very successful advice-giving.
My last serious girlfriend was Italian--from Rome, actually, and spoke cute broken English--and I'm a 6'5" black guy (she was quite a bit shorter, we made for an interesting-looking couple). I live in Manhattan, where this is commonplace. I think the OP would have MASSIVE success in NYC, if I'm correct on the kind of girl he's looking for.
I also agree that I have a bit of trouble reconciling 'nice guy' with some of the things he's posted in the past that I saw on this thread, and yet I agree with a lot of what he's posted (I wanted to high-five him with how he handled the drunk girl in the street, no way in hell would I get involved).
The thing is, I'm NOT the 'nice guy' as some women define nice--meaning I'm not going to cater to her ego, I'm not going to jump through hoops to impress anyone (especially if she approached me first, as sometimes happens). I'm up front and honest, and 'care' was cremated long ago (I recently had a nice woman approach me as we got off the train, mentioning how she appreciated a guy who found his book more interesting than the half-naked women on the train).
I think you'd do well in NYC, we do have some sensible, serious women here among the chaff.
You have alot of time on your hands obviously. But, all I will say about this is, when I meet women in person, they don't ramble on about threads I started on CD because they don't know I'm on here nor have they read my threads. I don't walk up to them and say, "hey, I dislike women (not true), or I'm full of hatred(also not true), etc". I'm actually nice, and charming to women I take out.... Let's not make this a war, please. I'm flattered that you think this much about me, and that you are willing to spend your time to find old threads and comments I made. I'm glad I made an impact on you I'm done with this. Anyway.......
It took all of five minutes to pull that post together, so don't flatter yourself.
Of course you don't walk up to people and announce your angst. My guess is you don't have to. If your posts here are sufficiently abrasive for several of us to call you out on them, it's a good bet your resentment oozes from your pores.
It seems like everyone woman I like doesn't like me. I have a couple of girls that like me but I don't have a mutual feeling for them. It's just weird. It seems like when I think, "oh that girl is hot", some entity out there automatically makes it so she won't like me. As silly as it sounds, its true. So, I'm going to put the cards on the table and give you guys my good and bad traits. I want feedback on what you think the problem is. Not that I care what you all think of me. I am just trying to figure out what I need to adjust. Or is this just an unchangeable fate?
27 year old black male
5'10
Dreads
I date outside my race(and inside sometimes)
Good job
Introvert working on being an extrovert
Super into cars and bicycles
Lean, athletic build
Told by many other people that I'm good looking? (I'm starting to doubt this)
I dress skater/hipsterish/punk
People tell me I'm always smiling
Bad:
I'm black and I date outside my race.
I can be passive aggressive sometimes
Sometimes I feel defeated before I try
Dating is harder for a guy
I try not to be a " nice guy" although I am(unfortunately)
I don't know how to tell if a woman is into me
I don't know how to flirt
I don't dress preppy
I can clear a bar of 20 women just by walking in the door
I have been single for a while and I have the single stench on me.
I'm not a loudmouth.
Wtf is wrong? My bad list is common with alot of other guys but they still don't struggle in dating. I know I have to work on those things but DANG! I cannot be perfect! For example, I would be talking to a girl I know and like, but once I show romantic interest in her, she runs. It's like this EVERY time! How many guys are somewhat similar to me, but get more than 1 date with women they like? How do you do it? It's like I need a secret membership or something. This is dumb.
it seems to me that your problem is you, not the women. you seem to be down on yourself for no good reason, and that shows through. nobody wants a negative nancy around them. you need to learn to be more positive and uplifting with your speech, and your attitude.
for instance, when i deal with dialysis, or having to be in the hospital, or any number of other negative things going on in my life, i dont dwell on the negative. i turn those negatives around, find the humor in them, and try to lift everyone elses spirits. for instance i describe dialysis as me going in early in the morning, getting stabbed by two needles large enough to sink a carrier, and then bleed into a machine for four hours. sometimes i make the medical staff laugh by saying i want to file a complaint against them because they keep sticking me with needles and stealing my blood.
and i get as good as i give, you have to if you are going to have a reputation for being lighthearted and funny.
remember that if you want people to respond to you in a particular manner, you have to show people that you can act in that particular manner.
one more thing, if you want respect from women, treat EVERYONE around you with respect. if you want love from women, treat everyone around you with love. that doesnt mean you have to want to sleep with everyone though.
Something like that happened to me once. I'm white and I was out with a Korean guy, and we went to a pool hall. There was a group of Asian women and if looks could kill, I'd be dead.
It's really pretty unseemly, when you think about it, as it's the ultimate objectification of another human being that they don't even know as somehow belonging to them.
Sorry Lilac but THIS is racist thinking.
You can't allege those girls were hating on you just because you were dating an Asian guy.
They could have been hating on you because they were vile.
We've all been to places where we've been victimized just because of the school we go to, our hair colour, our weight, our gender, whatever. A million different reasons other than race.
You can't allege those girls were hating on you just because you were dating an Asian guy.
They could have been hating on you because they were vile.
We've all been to places where we've been victimized just because of the school we go to, our hair colour, our weight, our gender, whatever. A million different reasons other than race.
Oh, come on. No one else was gawking at us. It was obvious. He passed a comment about it himself, but he was used to it.
You can't allege those girls were hating on you just because you were dating an Asian guy.
They could have been hating on you because they were vile.
We've all been to places where we've been victimized just because of the school we go to, our hair colour, our weight, our gender, whatever. A million different reasons other than race.
Truth
Yea Lilac, you are ASSUMING that it was because of race. Race is the first thing that popped in your head.
True. Part of the problem in my mind at the time was that we don't know what the OP's definition of "hot" is. We're trying to respond to his post and address his concerns while having no idea what he goes for as "hot". It doesn't make for very successful advice-giving.
OP, could you elaborate on your taste in women?
I'm not going to do that. That would just give you more fuel to bash anything I say. It's sounds like in your previous post you have quite the judgemental attitude. I bet if you lived in ATL, you would get along quite well with the basic crowd in Buckhead and in the Virginia Highlands.
Oh, come on. No one else was gawking at us. It was obvious. He passed a comment about it himself, but he was used to it.
Lilac, you're white. No one is racist towards you because of white privilege, and if you suspect it... you're racist.
Get with the picture, this is 2015.
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I'm done with this. Anyway.......
