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My boyfriends used to turn the radio up louder when I would start singing. Try that. Took me awhile to realize I was not the next Barbara Streisand, but it worked.
lol. I like this. It reminds me, several years ago a friend and I went to a concert. He'd never seen the band live before and was so into it he was singing along at the top of his lungs right in my ear. Halfway through the first song I had to ask him to tone it down a bit because I hadn't spent all that money to listen to him sing in my ear instead of the band. Didn't matter to me if he could sing well or not. I loved his enthusiasm but he just didn't need to sing that loudly.
I don't think the OP has clarified if she thinks she can sing, or when/where all this singing takes place. There are diplomatic ways to ask someone not to do something without needing to criticize them and hurt their feelings over it.
I've been dating this woman and really like her, the thing is she thinks she can sing and does it a lot. She's off key and gets on some people's nerves. I haven't told her because I don't want to hurt her feelings. I usually like to be honest but I don't think I can tell her. She said she wasn't interested in doing it as a career anyway. Is it okay not to tell her?
If it happens once or twice a week that's one thing, if it's twice a day then either tell her or leave. Perhaps I'm just too easily annoyed, but if I had to endure someone singing/humming every time I wanted to listen to the radio, I would die.
Why? Look, I'm a singer. That's how I make my living. Hearing people sing off key drives me crazy - except for my husband. My husband is a sound engineer but he is practically tone deaf when it comes to singing himself. It cracks me up! I think it's adorable. He doesn't sing in public or anything - just the car or at home.
But here's the thing - life is too short to purposely hurt someone's feelings when they are doing something that brings them joy. That's how I feel anyway. If she's not trying to do it professionally - then what does it matter? I just don't see a point in being mean to people.
Location: Huntersville/Charlotte, NC and Washington, DC
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Dewdroplet76
Why? Look, I'm a singer. That's how I make my living. Hearing people sing off key drives me crazy - except for my husband. My husband is a sound engineer but he is practically tone deaf when it comes to singing himself. It cracks me up! I think it's adorable. He doesn't sing in public or anything - just the car or at home.
But here's the thing - life is too short to purposely hurt someone's feelings when they are doing something that brings them joy. That's how I feel anyway. If she's not trying to do it professionally - then what does it matter? I just don't see a point in being mean to people.
How they take the news they can't sing is their own business. I'm not purposely hurting her if I'm being truthful, that's on them.
How they take the news they can't sing is their own business. I'm note purposely hurting her if I'm being truthful, that's on them.
That's simply not true. There are lots of truthful things you can say to someone that are hurtful. If you are in a relationship with someone - you need to take their feelings into consideration.
So you let her continue to embarrass herself? How mean is that?
Since embarrassment is an internal feeling, if she isn't feeling embarrassed then she isn't embarrassing herself even though you might feel embarrassed in that situation.
I'm not purposely hurting her if I'm being truthful, that's on them.
Nah.
"I wasn't purposely being hurtful, you just chose to be hurt by my actions" is a typical cop-out when people behave with a lack of consideration toward others' feelings, because it lets them off the hook as far as proceeding with manners/politeness.
Since the OP has not clarified, despite being asked numerous times, the context or details of said singing, we don't really know...is this somebody who is belting out show tunes on the subway with headphones in? Someone who sings around the house? Somebody who sings along to the radio in the car? What is the OP's main concern? That other people are offended? If so, who are these other people and what is the level of their offense that their offense is priority, over the feelings of someone the OP professes to care about? Is the person aware that others dislike her singing? If not, who cares? She's not embarrassed, and embarrassing her serves no purpose. Is it a matter of the OP HIMSELF being embarrassed? We don't know.
The fact is, there are people who just get annoyed by others singing, whether it's on-key or not, and anybody they just don't want to listen to is "a terrible singer," because they find it annoying. Whether or not the person signing is technically proficient. Somebody being annoyed by someone else singing doesn't necessarily mean that the party "can't sing." It also doesn't necessarily mean that the other party should stop doing something they enjoy. Context is important.
Most people learn early on what their talents and weaknesses are and I've found that most people tend to view themselves as worse singers than they actually are. I haven't known anyone who really thinks they are a good singer when they are terrible.
Many people who can't sing don't hear the difference in their singing and someone who can sing. They no doubt feel the same singing as some one who is a good singer. So if they are getting the rush out of it who are you to tell them they are not any good at it.
I once worked with a skinny guy who took off work every year during NLB tryouts. We always pumped him up right before he left, and never gave him the business when he came back and said he "almost " made the team this time.
She might just open up about something you love to do that she thinks you stink at.
Since the OP has not clarified, despite being asked numerous times, the context or details of said singing, we don't really know...is this somebody who is belting out show tunes on the subway with headphones in? Someone who sings around the house? Somebody who sings along to the radio in the car?
That's the big question. If she's just singing along to the radio around friends, that's one thing, but if she's dragging people to karaoke or open mike nights to share her talent with the world maybe some gentle intervention is needed. The OP's not being very forthcoming.
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