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Location: Huntersville/Charlotte, NC and Washington, DC
26,700 posts, read 41,718,665 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by promediacam15
If you mom prepared for it. Because financial security is not always true. 2 people living together means more expenses.
Umm, she added more income to her household so it is still a net gain. And hell, she is happy, which is the point of marrying, as told by the CD faithful.
If your life is what you want it to be single and you have nobody in your life you desire to marry, of course it makes no sense to get married.
Job market woes affect single people just as they do married people. If you are single and lose your job, that puts you in the position of having zero household income at least temporarily. If you are married/with someone and you lose your job, there is at least a chance that there is still some household income, unless that person has lost their job as well.
1. Not everyone has student loans.
2. Not everyone still has student loans they are paying down by the time they get married.
3. Part of the reason for an upward trend in marrying later is to gain firmer financial footing - getting married after one has established a firm financial footing is important to many who choose to marry.
4. Single people who have student loans also have to figure in cost of living plus having to pay back student loans. Savvy borrowers and savers do it all the time.
1. Not everyone has kids.
2. Not everyone chooses to have kids they can't afford.
3. You make financial choices that fit your lifestyle, wants, and needs. You don't buy houses you can't really afford, you don't live in places you can't really afford.
Interacting with ANYone can present challenges. When you interact with others, you will always have situations of conflict and compromise, because no two people always agree. This is the case whether or not one ever marries. Healthy relationships aren't hell. All relationships come with occasional struggles, and all marriages hit difficult times. My parents' marriage is one of the best I know, and they still have dealt with the stresses of illness, unforeseen expenses to deal with, employment issues, death of loved ones, caring for elderly disabled relatives, etc., and these are all stresses on marriages and relationships. But they're also a part of life, and meeting those challenges with a committed partner by your side to help support and navigate is actually an asset.
I'm not sure why there seems to be an assumption that nobody DOES, in fact, think about these things prior to marriage. It's pretty basic. If you DON'T have a solid understanding of one another's values and priorities, including those that are financial, and determine compatibility in this area and others, you are indeed courting big problems. This is common sense, not groundbreaking in the least. Again, one reason for an upward trend in marriage age and age of family starting is an increased desire to first get one's financial ducks in a row prior to making life-altering commitments.
Your questions seem to largely be basic personal finance ones that everyone deals with, married or not. Can I afford my chosen lifestyle? If not, what do I do? Adjust my lifestyle, or adjust my income? This is the case single or not single. Working with a spouse to address these challenges and build a life together can be very beneficial, if you plan well/are with the right spouse. A spouse that doesn't/won't work with you on these things, or who pushes for lifestyle choices that don't fit your financial situation or wants or needs is not beneficial, no. That's not an issue of marriage being good or bad, though. That's an issue of selecting the wrong partner for yourself.
Your stance seems to be that life comes with uncertainty (mainly, from your point of view, apparently, from an employment/financial standpoint), so why get married when there is uncertainty in life? There is always uncertainty in life. Some people would rather meet that reality with a spouse. Not getting married doesn't make the uncertainties of life evaporate, in any case. I get that you are coming from a perspective that if you fly solo, you have only yourself to worry about when the sky comes crashing down. Which may (or may not) be true. The fact remains that others would rather weather those exact same uncertainties of life that will always be there, regardless, with a committed, compatible partner.
You can give all the explanations that you listed but BOTTOM LINE!!!! NONE of US know what the future holds. And as far as a single person goes, if you are very savvy with your money and in the event you loose your job, you still can manage. A friend of mine is single and he lost his job about 2 years ago and he has a house and everything. He manages his money well. And he was out of work for a year until he found a new job. The bad thing is that young couples today dont really discuss their financial future together because alot of them had free rides with living at home with parents paying for college and other expenses while growing up. And when they got married, some parents pay for their wedding. So what financial things do they prepare themselves with? If you grew up in a home where you had parents to teach you financial responsibility then you will better prepare. However it is very rare now with kids who are getting married today and over the last few years.
Umm, she added more income to her household so it is still a net gain. And hell, she is happy, which is the point of marrying, as told by the CD faithful.
Well yes especially at your mom being 60 year old. She has lived long enough that she learned to be financially responsible. But you will not see with younger couples getting married today. Especailly in their 20s and 30s. 40s hopefully then learn. Couples in my opinion should get married for the 1st time in their 40s and up because they have hopefully lived long enough to learn some financial responsibility.
If you don't think marriage is for you...don't do it. All your objections....while real issues...have nothing to do with marriage its self and happen to both singles and couples ( married or not).
Well yes especially at your mom being 60 year old. She has lived long enough that she learned to be financially responsible. But you will not see with younger couples getting married today. Especailly in their 20s and 30s. 40s hopefully then learn. Couples in my opinion should get married for the 1st time in their 40s and up because they have hopefully lived long enough to learn some financial responsibility.
I know many financially responsible couples in their 20s and 30s.
No need to wait until your 40s to get married.,.. then it can often be too late to have kids.
OP, just because YOU are financially ill-prepared for marriage does not mean everyone is!
Could be true. In fact one of my neighbors moved away a few months ago. They were a young couple married 4 years. They were renting a home 2 houses down from me in order to save for a new home. The husband was some sales guy and his wife a nurse. They have a 3 year old son. He lost his job during the winter because the company was cutting back on costs and sales were really bad. He was forced to move into his wife's parents house and he said that expenses were tight even with 2 incomes. He said that kids are the big expense. That is why you never know with couples getting married today, do they have a game plan set in case of a situation happening like my old neighbors had?
No, they don't. Even with both of our incomes, no way that kids can enter into the picture. Even though we really want kids. Hell, I don't know how anyone with kids does it, especially single parents.
If anyone is old enough to remember when men were the primary bread winners everything was a lot more affordable. Then, in the eighties, with the rise in the "Working Girl" culture prices have only increased. The single women that I know that are doing it without any help, earn like $60,000 a year.
Well yes especially at your mom being 60 year old. She has lived long enough that she learned to be financially responsible. But you will not see with younger couples getting married today. Especailly in their 20s and 30s. 40s hopefully then learn. Couples in my opinion should get married for the 1st time in their 40s and up because they have hopefully lived long enough to learn some financial responsibility.
So you think every couple that gets married is financially irresponsible because "those darn kids today don't know anything".
Again...some people are responsible...some people are not....that has nothing to do with marriage. Marriage doesn't cause financial irresponsibility.
Just don't get married....you really don't have to have a reason.
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