Welcome to City-Data.com Forum!
U.S. CitiesCity-Data Forum Index
Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Relationships
 [Register]
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
View detailed profile (Advanced) or search
site with Google Custom Search

Search Forums  (Advanced)
Closed Thread Start New Thread
 
Old 07-05-2015, 10:49 AM
 
14 posts, read 9,002 times
Reputation: 10

Advertisements

I've started to become friends with a guy from work. I'm 22 years old, and he's 39 years old.


His wife and kids are in another state right now. He worked for the company before, but about a year ago he moved. Well, he has come back, and he's been trying to get another house here, so they can come back home.


We go out to lunch maybe once a week, if we have time to spare during the day. It's pleasant and a nice break during the work day.


He's said that he enjoys talking to me. He will let me know sometimes that I look nice , but never anything crude. Just being friendly.

He's playful and will toss paper balls at me, or when he's walking by me he'll tickle my back/sides. Or playfully scare me.


We text maybe a few times a week. Usually around 6pm-10/11pm


We talk on the phone after work a few times a week as well.

This past Friday we had off from work due to the 4th of July Holiday, but he called me Friday evening around 8pm, He asked if I was busy, did I have time to talk? He said that he has great news about the house and he wanted to tell me first. I congratulated him and he said the house needs some work and I offered to help. He said great, he could use the help. Then we talked for an hour or so.


He said he doesn't have any friends, well he does - but they're all rednecks who aren't any good, and he only has his family. And he misses them. He talks about his kids all the time. He never really talks about his wife, our last conversation was the first time he mentioned her but he said something like "You better not tell my wife that I wear collared shirts! She thinks I'm turning into a pretty boy." I said "I'm going to tell her!" "No! That's just going to give her more ammunition, she's already got ammo and fires off at me like a machine gun"

Something like that.


Anyway. I want to make sure that it's okay for us to be friends. I've got lots of friends but could always use more!

I've just never had one that's married and older before. I always hear how guys won't talk to a girl they don't want to sleep with. But I don't believe that. Plus he's married and loves his family. Two people can be "just be friends". At least I can.

I thought I'd check in with you guys and see what you think!

Last edited by lynn2805; 07-05-2015 at 11:08 AM..

 
Old 07-05-2015, 10:52 AM
 
Location: NE Mississippi
25,383 posts, read 17,039,663 times
Reputation: 37030
No. Get some distance between you two.

Gay men are a girl's best friend. Straight men, like me, are going to be tempted sooner or later.
 
Old 07-05-2015, 10:55 AM
 
615 posts, read 723,852 times
Reputation: 910
This is headed towards you guys shacking up, and you know it
 
Old 07-05-2015, 10:57 AM
 
Location: Tricity, PL
61,273 posts, read 86,169,461 times
Reputation: 131028
No. His wife is in another state right now. He should be calling her, not you. Don't start any kind of relationship with a married man, this never ends well. I think you KNOW what he really wants...
 
Old 07-05-2015, 11:10 AM
 
2,970 posts, read 2,758,126 times
Reputation: 3176
I am a married woman.

I have several questions for you.

Why have you not met his wife or at least spoken to her on the phone?

Does his wife know about you?

What are your intentions regarding your friendship with him?

What do you want from your friendship with him?

What are his intentions regarding his friendship with you?

Why are the two of you eating lunch alone *beyond the reason that it is pleasant and a nice break during the work day*?

Why is he pursuing you?

Why are you texting him between 6 p.m. and 11 p.m.? Are you texting him for 4 hours?

What do you expect to happen by texting him?

What do you want to happen by texting him?

Why are you pursuing him?

Do you really want to only be friends with him, or do you want more? Be honest about that one to yourself.

Why is he calling you regarding the purchase of the house? Did he tell his wife before he told you?

How emotionally invested are you in this *friendship*?

How emotionally invested is he in this *friendship*?

Does he want to be faithful to his wife... emotionally and physically?

What is your level of emotional attachment in this friendship?

What is his level of emotional attachment in this friendship?

Honestly answer these questions.
 
Old 07-05-2015, 11:20 AM
 
Location: New Yawk
9,196 posts, read 7,195,194 times
Reputation: 15313
How does the wife feel about this relationship?
 
Old 07-05-2015, 11:21 AM
 
Location: Canada
11,756 posts, read 11,961,453 times
Reputation: 30181
Welcome first time poster!

Nothing good can come from this. There is no need to conduct yourself this way with a coworker, let alone a married man. Go hang out with one of your numerous other friends instead.
 
Old 07-05-2015, 11:23 AM
 
150 posts, read 171,179 times
Reputation: 305
Why is the married man on the phone with you and not his wife?

What exactly are you trying to get out of this?
 
Old 07-05-2015, 11:24 AM
 
Location: Katonah, NY
21,192 posts, read 25,092,638 times
Reputation: 22274
Yes, it's okay for a married man and a single woman to be friends. No, your friendship does not sound okay.
 
Old 07-05-2015, 11:24 AM
 
Location: Tricity, PL
61,273 posts, read 86,169,461 times
Reputation: 131028
I think OP could be clueless, but he knows very well what he is doing. He is lonely, bored, horny and stupid. He is playing with fire risking losing his wife and his job.
OP, would you approve his action if he were YOUR husband?
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.

Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.


Closed Thread


Over $104,000 in prizes was already given out to active posters on our forum and additional giveaways are planned!

Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Relationships

All times are GMT -6.

© 2005-2024, Advameg, Inc. · Please obey Forum Rules · Terms of Use and Privacy Policy · Bug Bounty

City-Data.com - Contact Us - Archive 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37 - Top