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I know plenty of women who treat sexuality pretty loosely. I also know plenty of men who hold sex between two people on an equally sacred (perhaps even more extreme) pedestal as you do. People are different in sizes, shapes, opinions, and philosophy. Thank goodness for it being a big big world!
I agree with what your saying, it can go both ways however its more likely that its a guy doing it according to studies anyway. The problem comes when people who are not compatible in this way get together.
If both enjoy looking at porn and treating the sexual act like a hand shake then no harm no foul.
I have a friend who views porn three or four times a week. I think that's a lot. He seems to think it's no big deal (of course!). He wants to get further involved with me, but I'm pretty sure this issue is a deal breaker. I should probably at least get more information, like how much time he really spends on this, if he spends any money, etc. Other than this issue, he's very nice, and we've been friends for over 15 years. I value my fellow C-D members' opinions, so what do you guys think?
If you have a problem with porn in general, I think you may find you have some general differences with this guy in views pertaining to morality which means it might not be a good match.
If you don't have a problem with porn, and think that there is a time and place where porn is OK, I suggest to you that viewing porn 3 or 4 times a week is absolutely fine and harmless. The caveat being, as others have said, it can't get in the way of relationships, job, finances, etc. Most guys like (and yes, "need") to get their rocks off. If maybe some day he's doing so with you, he'd likely be viewing porn less.
Quote:
Originally Posted by MainStreet
... It's like an alcoholic who drinks alone, IMO and would be A deal breaker for me. ...
So, as long as an alcoholic does his drinking with others, it's OK?
Location: Life here is not an Apollo Mission. Everyone calm down.
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Pragmaniac
If you have a problem with porn in general, I think you may find you have some general differences with this guy in views pertaining to morality which means it might not be a good match.
If you don't have a problem with porn, and think that there is a time and place where porn is OK, I suggest to you that viewing porn 3 or 4 times a week is absolutely fine and harmless. The caveat being, as others have said, it can't get in the way of relationships, job, finances, etc. Most guys like (and yes, "need") to get their rocks off. If maybe some day he's doing so with you, he'd likely be viewing porn less.
So, as long as an alcoholic does his drinking with others, it's OK?
Alcoholism is never ok, my point was that some people think porn addiction is not serious, my point was that porn addiction is AS serious as alcoholics drinking alone. Both alone, not with family, not being productive, both are the same.
Alcoholism is never ok, my point was that some people think porn addiction is not serious, my point was that porn addiction is AS serious as alcoholics drinking alone. Both alone, not with family, not being productive, both are the same.
If you don't have a problem with porn, and think that there is a time and place where porn is OK, I suggest to you that viewing porn 3 or 4 times a week is absolutely fine and harmless. The caveat being, as others have said, it can't get in the way of relationships, job, finances, etc. Most guys like (and yes, "need") to get their rocks off. If maybe some day he's doing so with you, he'd likely be viewing porn less.
I was honestly with you until one word, need. Or, "need". (Though I frankly don't see what putting it in quotes accomplishes.)
I don't have a problem with porn. As long as it doesn't take time away from me, all is good. I like to get off too. It's a mutual thing between my man and I.
Do I "need" to? Nope. Do I want to? Yup. Same goes with him. I don't believe that any man has ever died from lack of ejaculation. Which would go back to the idea of "need".
Anyway, this probably just is a matter of semantics.
I like to get off. I watch porn. I much prefer to be with my man (unless he's being an, erm....a*s). LOL
IMO, if it's not getting in the way of the "normal course of business", it's not a huge deal.
But, to each their own. And this is why we date people. To LEARN about them, and their likes. If there's not a compatibility, you go your own way, and learn from it. No biggie.
I would say just be freinds with the guy, then again my expaeriacnce with the nice guy who viewed porn once in awhile turned out very bad, (emotionally and sexually abuseive) to me it would be a big red flag. In no way am I saying that all guys who view porn are like this. You just need to be carefull.
Did you find out about his watching porn by accident or did he tell you?
If he told you he watches porn then I would at least give him credit for being honest. Honesty is a virtue and says something about his character.
If he is running up credit card bills to watch this stuff I would be somewhat concerned. If he checks out a few free sites for 10 second clips I wouldn't be too worried about it.
I guess some guys are addicted but for others it is mostly a curiousity thing to see if they can see something better than they saw before.
Most guys check out porn once in awhile. I would say at least 75 to 80%. No scientific study on my part, just from what I know from the guys I work with, etc.
I look every now and then and I have been married to the same woman for 25 years. (Maybe that's why I look) LOL
If his computer is running out of space because it is filled with porn then it might be a problem.
Watching porn teaches you how to have sex (the right way)...
Evidently the right way for a woman is with three guys at once, all hung like Ferdinand the Bull.
Last edited by Fat Freddy; 01-25-2008 at 09:30 AM..
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