Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Another man will experience the drama and insanity this girl brings. Dont torture yourself like this. This person is not someone you want to spend you life with!! Dont put her on a pedestal.
My sister says the same, it drives her nuts when I talk about her the way I am with you guys.
I think you misunderstood that portion you quoted. I meant I was and am or getting back to being that lovable confident guy. I appreciate the words regardless. I am focusing on myself but it's still difficult to just get over it in two months when I spent nearly three years loving, sleeping, eating, breathing with this person by my side.
When someone appears 'too good to be true'; wait for the fallout. First break-up was a huge indicator of the future.
You're paying good money for this ^^ excellent advice. For God's sake, listen to it. OF COURSE it's manipulation.
"After she's worked on herself ..." LOL
That's just idealization. Your imagination at work again. It's very strong, because your desires for her to be someone else blinded you to the very real and poisonous traits she exhibited day in and day out.
The bad news is that it can take a hell of a lot longer than 2 months. It can take YEARS. But what's that old Winston Churchill quote? "When you're going through hell, KEEP GOING."
Don't stop and hang out, and DON'T GO BACK.
Thank you so much. I will listen to your advice. Time for serious changes toward the way I think about this situation.
As long as you keep villifying yourself for sending some innocent Facebook messages, you'll never move on.
No one can help you until you decide to help yourself. What would your mother think of all this?
She would be extremely disappointed she didn't like her when she met her, bearing in mind she was very sick. She never knew about her dancing past or she'd kill me for losing health over her. My Mom was a very respected, faithful, EXTREMELY selfless, giving women, EXTREMELY polar opposite of my ex. On her death bed she told me Michael "if you want to marry a ****, don't get married".
I actually had a lucid dream in January or February. I woke up in it and it was extremely vivid. She appeared and had cooked me a dinner. Crying I knew I was in the dream and said Mom this is just a dream. She said this is the best we can have right now, visiting you with my spirit. She said she needed to tell me two things. One, I was to hard on myself and you, please enjoy life and don't take things to serious, it's too short. The second one, she said this is extremely important, she said your girlfriend (won't say her name here), is like CANCER (bear in mind she died from cancer), and this CANCER needs to be cut out immediately.
Was difficult to look at her the same after the person on my top pyramid is saying this odd thing in a dream. Yes it's just a dream, however lucid and feeling of a spiritual visitation dream, but never in my conscious or even subconscious mind would I have thought to say something like that.
Another man will experience the drama and insanity this girl brings. Dont torture yourself like this. This person is not someone you want to spend you life with!! Dont put her on a pedestal.
Just like my experienced older sister said, so true. Most toxic people don't see themselves as toxic.
I think you misunderstood that portion you quoted. I meant I was and am or getting back to being that lovable confident guy. I appreciate the words regardless. I am focusing on myself but it's still difficult to just get over it in two months when I spent nearly three years loving, sleeping, eating, breathing with this person by my side.
Coupled with the tie in to my Mothers death and her sort of replacing that comfort. My therapist thinks this is the biggest hump I am unable to get over, and that I am more so hurting through the break up for the loss of my Mom again. 57 years old I saw her suffer from that cancer in a torturous way. I remember her looking over her not knowing who i was because she was in a comma. I picked her up to sit her on the toiler and put her back in bed because she was to weak to move. When she took her last breathe because I asked her to let go as she was struggling to, I held her hand tighter and tighter, this girlfriend was in the room with me.
To think that meant nothing and to her and to just forget I exist makes it even more painful. I made mistakes but I'm not a freaking murderer I have a clean record. I did everything in the book to atone it.
Went back to look at posts, above edited with additional thoughts after I responded.
Last bolded comment; what point are you trying to get across?
Went back to look at posts, above edited with additional thoughts after I responded.
Last bolded comment; what point are you trying to get across?
I guess just the whole break up, "you're a ****ty person, over and over", "you did nothing for me", "your a boy and I need a man (not the first time I heard that)", "you use your Moms dead card to get away with stuff" (not true and only a year later that was kinda a low blow).
Just the treatment from her. No responses to any of my loving gestures, or emails, and the only response I get is...
"I'll have to block you if you contact me again though I don't want to. You're up and down messages are unsettling. Our situation was unfortunate but you need to move on and focus on yourself".
Yes she's 100% right and I am glad it was so easy for her. Clearly since our month break where I spent daily considering how I'd improve, research a creative gift the vase with flowers covered in notes of what I would do to be better man, going to therapy to learn why I sent messages and how I'd completely adore her, and she spent going on dates. I feel like I deserved more than that regardless of what I did. I was genuinely and still am remorseful. I'd never put anyone in that situation again. But I'm not a bad person. Everyone says she's missing out and the current girl says her loss is my gain. But then I wonder will some man say that to her, my sister insists she'll never be happy. First thing she said when meeting my sister was bizarre, "I am really good at manipulating men, that's how I get them". WHY would you say that to my sister, barring in mind she didn't tell me until months later.
In any case I do worry about what she thinks of me a little. I don't want to anymore though. Everything everyone is saying is really pushing me away from the negative thoughts and more toward the focusing on myself, something new. I guess i'm just not as strong as her or more compassionate.
She would be extremely disappointed she didn't like her when she met her, bearing in mind she was very sick. She never knew about her dancing past or she'd kill me for losing health over her. My Mom was a very respected, faithful, EXTREMELY selfless, giving women, EXTREMELY polar opposite of my ex. On her death bed she told me Michael "if you want to marry a ****, don't get married".
That right there should be all you need. Your mother - well respected, faithful, selfless - did not like this girl. People who are well respected, faithful, selfless usually do not prejudge people without giving them the benefit of the doubt beforehand.
If you want to settle down, realize that the person you want to settle down with should be someone well respected, faithful, and selfless!
I guess just the whole break up, "you're a ****ty person, over and over", "you did nothing for me", "your a boy and I need a man (not the first time I heard that)", "you use your Moms dead card to get away with stuff" (not true and only a year later that was kinda a low blow).
Just the treatment from her. No responses to any of my loving gestures, or emails, and the only response I get is...
"I'll have to block you if you contact me again though I don't want to. You're up and down messages are unsettling. Our situation was unfortunate but you need to move on and focus on yourself".
Yes she's 100% right and I am glad it was so easy for her. Clearly since our month break where I spent daily considering how I'd improve, research a creative gift the vase with flowers covered in notes of what I would do to be better man, going to therapy to learn why I sent messages and how I'd completely adore her, and she spent going on dates. I feel like I deserved more than that regardless of what I did. I was genuinely and still am remorseful. I'd never put anyone in that situation again. But I'm not a bad person. Everyone says she's missing out and the current girl says her loss is my gain. But then I wonder will some man say that to her, my sister insists she'll never be happy. First thing she said when meeting my sister was bizarre, "I am really good at manipulating men, that's how I get them". WHY would you say that to my sister, barring in mind she didn't tell me until months later.
In any case I do worry about what she thinks of me a little. I don't want to anymore though. Everything everyone is saying is really pushing me away from the negative thoughts and more toward the focusing on myself, something new. I guess i'm just not as strong as her or more compassionate.
Obsessive thoughts, misplaced idolization, ways to win her love and affection, nor what she thinks of you now, said 2 months, 6 months or 2 yrs ago focuses on you. It does not make 'you' a better person.
Has she filed for a restraining order or your therapy court ordered?
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
