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I'm 32 and I've only had 2 girlfriends. I don't lack confidence although I'm not the most outgoing guy. I'm good looking, intelligent, interesting, and I believe I have a lot to offer. It baffles me how someone like me finds it so difficult to maintain the interest of women. They treat me like I'm some kind of loser, but I don't feel like a loser at all. Either that, or they put me in the dreaded friendzone, which of course is not about being friends. My friends all think i'm cool, and I feel like a confident guy.
I'm fed up that so many women I've met have shown more interest towards thugs with tattoos and other idiots, rather than a normal guy like me. I've tried to figure out why this is, and the only logical conclusion is that they're masochists. Many of them are ridiculously picky and cynical.
A year ago I stumbled across a forum where they talk about women from various parts of the world. I thought it was a travel site at first, and so when I saw what it was about I ignored it. But then one day out of curiosity I checked it out, and I became intrigued. They were talking about the qualities that they believe foreign women have, and how happy a lot of men are when they travel abroad to meet them.
At the time I had little experience or opinions about that, but what I did know is that different cultures give rise to different outlooks, and that the women that I tend to meet are incompatible with me, and they lack the qualities that I'm looking for.
So, a few months ago I went to the Philippines. If I was to write about what that was like it would take pages and pages, but let's just say that it was amazing. Maybe it was the excitement of being in a different environment. I don't know. But I had a great experience, totally different from back home. It was very easy to meet women and they were very interested in me, and they appreciated me. I met a few girls that I would gladly see again.
My philosophy is as follows. If you're not happy in your situation, take responsibility and change it. Let others do whatever they feel is right for them, and focus on doing what you think is right for you. Everyone has their own criteria for what they're looking for. It would make no sense to stay in a place where I don't feel fulfilled.
I really want to go back there permanently. I realize that it's not a good idea to go and live there just to find women. I know that. That's why I've taken that into consideration. I don't have any commitments or responsibilities at home, and I don't feel like there's anything keeping me here. I've looked into the culture of the Philippines and it does seem like a place that I could get used to. There are other things about the country which I like and I'm willing to go down there a few times and see what's what. I am also willing to learn the language. I work from home, so I also have flexibility. What I'm saying is that if I go to live there, it will be a decision based on much consideration.
Nevertheless, I'm not 100% sure. I always like to think long and hard before making decisions. So I'm here to ask for advice so that I can take it into consideration, and hopefully make a decision that is right for me.
No, don't go there permanently (at least not do so only to get girlfriends).
Your women problems in the US is you're hanging around and targeting the wrong women. This will follow you to the Philippines, though it's hard to say how it will manifest itself.
No, don't go there permanently (at least not do so only to get girlfriends).
Your women problems in the US is you're hanging around and targeting the wrong women. This will follow you to the Philippines, though it's hard to say how it will manifest itself.
My problems with women didn't follow me at all. It was totally different. The culture is different. The problem is that where I am now, there are an awful lot of wrong women, as you put it. If it was one or two, that would be fine, but it's not. When I was in the Philippines I didn't have that problem. I noticed a pattern, and a huge contrast between there and here. What I'm saying is that over there, the women are far more appreciative of me, and more compatible with me. I believe I ought to be where I'm appreciated, and I'm willing to make that happen.
I'm 32 and I've only had 2 girlfriends. I don't lack confidence although I'm not the most outgoing guy. I'm good looking, intelligent, interesting, and I believe I have a lot to offer. It baffles me how someone like me finds it so difficult to maintain the interest of women. They treat me like I'm some kind of loser, but I don't feel like a loser at all. Either that, or they put me in the dreaded friendzone, which of course is not about being friends. My friends all think i'm cool, and I feel like a confident guy.
I'm fed up that so many women I've met have shown more interest towards thugs with tattoos and other idiots, rather than a normal guy like me. I've tried to figure out why this is, and the only logical conclusion is that they're masochists. Many of them are ridiculously picky and cynical.
A year ago I stumbled across a forum where they talk about women from various parts of the world. I thought it was a travel site at first, and so when I saw what it was about I ignored it. But then one day out of curiosity I checked it out, and I became intrigued. They were talking about the qualities that they believe foreign women have, and how happy a lot of men are when they travel abroad to meet them.
At the time I had little experience or opinions about that, but what I did know is that different cultures give rise to different outlooks, and that the women that I tend to meet are incompatible with me, and they lack the qualities that I'm looking for.
So, a few months ago I went to the Philippines. If I was to write about what that was like it would take pages and pages, but let's just say that it was amazing. Maybe it was the excitement of being in a different environment. I don't know. But I had a great experience, totally different from back home. It was very easy to meet women and they were very interested in me, and they appreciated me. I met a few girls that I would gladly see again.
My philosophy is as follows. If you're not happy in your situation, take responsibility and change it. Let others do whatever they feel is right for them, and focus on doing what you think is right for you. Everyone has their own criteria for what they're looking for. It would make no sense to stay in a place where I don't feel fulfilled.
I really want to go back there permanently. I realize that it's not a good idea to go and live there just to find women. I know that. That's why I've taken that into consideration. I don't have any commitments or responsibilities at home, and I don't feel like there's anything keeping me here. I've looked into the culture of the Philippines and it does seem like a place that I could get used to. There are other things about the country which I like and I'm willing to go down there a few times and see what's what. I am also willing to learn the language. I work from home, so I also have flexibility. What I'm saying is that if I go to live there, it will be a decision based on much consideration.
Nevertheless, I'm not 100% sure. I always like to think long and hard before making decisions. So I'm here to ask for advice so that I can take it into consideration, and hopefully make a decision that is right for me.
I'll address the bolded above.
1. When you jump to conclusions like all women must be masochists because they're not with your "type" whatever that type may be, you are projecting your own shortcomings onto them. Rather than blame all the women where you live - which, unless you are in a town of 1,000 people, is an awful lot of women- why don't you talk to actual women (not your guy friends) and find out what is the problem? Maybe you aren't as good looking as you think. Maybe you have terrible halitosis. Maybe you come across as creepy. Maybe you describe yourself as "normal" but you're actually just boring. Maybe you've just been targeting exactly the wrong women because you've decided you want a certain "type" but that type just isn't interested in you. There are myriad reasons but you don't seem terribly interested in finding out what they actually are.
2. It's easy to be caught up in a new culture or place and think you've found paradise. Plenty of people move to their favorite vacation spots and realize it's not at all what they expected. You and your friends can believe all you want about women from other cultures and how they're soooo different from US women, but that doesn't make it true. Running to another culture won't fix your issue. You were on vacation in a place where you were an interesting foreigner, so of course you had not trouble meeting women.
3. Your philosophy above - so what have you done in the last 15 years to take responsibility and change your situation? You should consider that before you run to another part of the world expecting to find a compatible mate.
1. When you jump to conclusions like all women must be masochists because they're not with your "type" whatever that type may be, you are projecting your own shortcomings onto them. Rather than blame all the women where you live - which, unless you are in a town of 1,000 people, is an awful lot of women- why don't you talk to actual women (not your guy friends) and find out what is the problem? Maybe you aren't as good looking as you think. Maybe you have terrible halitosis. Maybe you come across as creepy. Maybe you describe yourself as "normal" but you're actually just boring. Maybe you've just been targeting exactly the wrong women because you've decided you want a certain "type" but that type just isn't interested in you. There are myriad reasons but you don't seem terribly interested in finding out what they actually are.
2. It's easy to be caught up in a new culture or place and think you've found paradise. Plenty of people move to their favorite vacation spots and realize it's not at all what they expected. You and your friends can believe all you want about women from other cultures and how they're soooo different from US women, but that doesn't make it true. Running to another culture won't fix your issue. You were on vacation in a place where you were an interesting foreigner, so of course you had not trouble meeting women.
3. Your philosophy above - so what have you done in the last 15 years to take responsibility and change your situation? You should consider that before you run to another part of the world expecting to find a compatible mate.
Thank you for your response.
1. I don't think that all women are masochists, or anything in particular. I know this because when I was in the Philippines I noticed that many of the women there are very different to the women back here.
The women in the Philippines that I met all thought I was good looking, none of them said that I have halitosis, or thought I was creepy or boring.
The type that I'm after are far and few between over here, whereas over there, they are in abundance. I don't target women who I think are wrong for me, I target those that seem to be my type. It's just that when I'm here, they turn out not to be my type.
2. I have no intention of getting caught up in a new culture. I intend to research as much as I can about that culture, to see if it is indeed right for me. So far, it seems to be exactly what I want, but I will not move there until I'm more certain.
From my observations and interactions and direct experience, I found that women over there certainly are better than the ones I run into here.
Not all the filipinas that I met were interested in me. Some of them are not interested in foreigners at all. And some of them I did not gel with. However, overall, most of them were, and I gelled with most of them.
3. In order to take responsibility and change my situation I've gone to the Philippines to see what it was like, and to see what the women are like there. I have also done a lot of researching and asking around to find out as much as possible about the women, the country, and the culture.
I will only make the decision to move there (or not) once I have enough information, and only after I've been there a few more times. I will also focus on other aspects of the culture other than the women, because I know that living in a new country is a huge change.
Ok, you're clearly not getting what I was trying to get across to you. The questions I asked you were about you and women here. Ask women here what it is about you that might be putting them off. What have you done here to take responsibility and change your situation? You have had at least 14 years (18 to 32) to figure out what does/does not work with the women you are going after, assess your situation, make positive changes to your life, etc. Only 2 girlfriends in all those years begs the question, what have you been doing to be proactive?
If by any chance you are real.... you're basically going to be a walking billboard that says "scam me".
By all means, travel.. live in new places.. but don't do this crap to hopefully meet a woman. If you're too desperate, you're going to get eaten alive in places like that.
Ok, you're clearly not getting what I was trying to get across to you. The questions I asked you were about you and women here. Ask women here what it is about you that might be putting them off. What have you done here to take responsibility and change your situation? You have had at least 14 years (18 to 32) to figure out what does/does not work with the women you are going after, assess your situation, make positive changes to your life, etc. Only 2 girlfriends in all those years begs the question, what have you been doing to be proactive?
I do know what you're getting at. But I've already established that it's hard to find a compatible woman here. I'm not interested in going over all the possible reasons why that incompatibility exists. I don't care why they don't like me any more than I care about why I don't like them. We are incompatible, period, time to move on.
I'm interested in solutions, and I'm interested in taking responsibility for finding what I want, hence the actions that I've taken. I'm sure there are compatible women here, the problem is that they are so far and few between that I am not meeting them. It would be a waste of my energy and time trying to figure out why incompatible women are incompatible. And it would be a waste of energy trying to find the rare few who are compatible. A better use of my time is to seek what is best for me. Life is too short to whine or to try to adapt to something that you don't want in your life. They don't dig me, I don't dig them. Got it. Message received loud and clear. Now it's time to find what's right for me.
You seem so fixated on the idea that I must fix a problem between myself and women who are incompatible with me, almost as if to say that if a man can't find what he wants in one place, there's no other option but to stay where he is and become someone he's not. There's nothing to fix. It is what it is, and it's my responsibility to move on.
What if someone said that they can't find the kind of job they seek, but one day they went somewhere else where that kind of job was abundant, and are now considering taking action and moving to that place?
Or what if someone said that the weather in their part of the world was not to their liking, and then they went to a place where they liked the weather, and are now considering taking action and moving to that place?
Would you use the same argument that you're using now?
I've already said that I'm willing to learn as much about the Philippines as I can, and I'm willing to learn the language if necessary. And I don't intend to make any decisions until I know what's what. If I was stuck here, that would be a different story. But I'm not stuck. I have my own business, I can work in almost any location, and more importantly, I'm a man with options. Especially now that I've seen what's outside of the bubble.
I'm not interested in subscribing to a viewpoint based on the premise that the problem must automatically and by default be with me. I'm interested in solutions to an incompatibility issue. There's nothing to fix here.
Lots of things to consider....
Perhaps you acted differently with these women because the couldn't judge you on American terms...fine, great...
But did these women like you more because they thought you might bring them to the U.S.? Do you know what their expectation was? How much did you talk with these women to figure out exactly what the attraction was...or did you simply revel in it without examination?
You say you're willing to learn the language...but you're not exactly young and it can be hard to pick something up like that. Maybe you can try to find a class HERE to be SURE you can learn it.
What about work? What would you do there? What are their rules in terms of getting into the country and how long could you stay and what do you have to have in order to get a job there? Maybe you need to go for a few months to learn a little more first.
What is the cost of living - how GOOD a job do you need to live there. And yes, again - would you be the same attraction to the ladies if you LIVED there?
If you found a woman would you consider coming back to the U.S.? As in "mission accomplished"?
Listen....I hate to be real here. But here it goes. You are probably not as attractive and wonderful as you think. If you were, you would have no problem getting women here. Now let that sink it. It's not just about the women, because the men do the same thing to women that they feel aren't at the top of the food chain in looks, body, personality, whatever.
You are not at the top of the food chain when it comes to looks, body, personality, etc. THAT is why you hardly get any women. However, THAT would be why a WOMAN in your same situation can hardly find a man either. TRUST ME....THERE IS NO WAY YOU ARE THIS GREAT LOOKING GUY WITH A SPARKLING PERSONALITY AND OTHER THINGS GOING FOR YOU AND NO ONE WANTS YOU. Not realistic. You are either not attractive, or act like a complete nerd or weirdo when you interact with women, etc....etc.
Now, can you, or even do you, want to try to change your image, if that was even physically possible? I don't know...I haven't seen you. And I don't know you.
However, please don't blame women. This is something that is happening every day to BOTH sexes. Believe that. Now, for men, a quick fix they can usually do is go to another country where you can either pretty much buy a woman because she just wants to live in America, or you can try to find those women that are bred and raised to just obey men and get married and only care if he pays the bills and not if she truly is attracted to him. That is what men do who cant get women in the US. Not being an a$$....its basically what happens.
Attractive men or women, with good bodies and personalities aren't on the loose for long over here in the US. So,unfortunately, like lots other people, you just aren't at the top of the *A* list. If trying to find love outside of the US works for you, go for it.
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