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Some people aren't meant to join us for long and if they only make a quick apparition and then vanish, it's easy to idealise them since we've never had the chance to really get to know them and see that they are just normal human beings who could have simply stopped inspiring us in any way if they had stayed a bit longer.
It really wasn't and isn't about how much she gave you or how special she was, because she didn't bother about any of these and by simply vanishing after one month she proved that she wasn't the right person for you, but about what how you felt being in love for the first time, how much you needed to have that experience and how much you projected on that short first dating period and you still do. The reality is that you had a crush on her, but in a little while you would have felt less intensely for her because noone feels forever what they feel on their first dates, but since you didn't have the chance to naturally go back to your normal self being with her, I think that you need to reason these facts, demystify her, find closure and move on.
Whenever you have a nostalgia moment like you had last night or when you miss feeling so intensely as you used to feel with her, become aware that it's an illusion. With or without her, those feelings she inspired you wouldn't have last long and would have calmed down in just a matter of weeks, so don't give them power on you by believing in them or entertaining them.
I really think that most of the time we don't miss a person in particular so much, as we need the profound emotional and mental connection and stimulation the relationship brought in our lives. You need to help yourself overcome this by trying to broaden your life experience a bit, bringing some changes in your life and focusing your energies on something else that could be a strong positive mental and emotional stimulation for you, and you could find this in something very different from a love a relationship.
Going to make this quick because ive discussed this issue a while back but this summer marks one year. I was 24 and never had a date until this one girl came out of nowhere and even gave me my first kiss. We had a completely magical June as we had done everything I ever dreamed of for the first time. It was a life changing time and with a girl most guys only dream of. She ended up just walking away and never telling me why. (Side note I know i have the full story here somewhere in case anyone wants to know)...There were times I thought i was over her only 2 months after she stopped seeing me. Months went by and ive had many other dates. This spring ive even got a girl who wanted to be my actual girlfriend and even as of now we are still together. However I still cant get this first girl out of my mind. The memories are haunting and the places we've been and music we kissed to still haunt me. I cant shake it, just tonight i actually had serious nostalgia for this girl and those times. Should I not be over her? Ive found i haven't been able to love any girl since and cant even really love my girlfriend. What do i do?
I question if this is because it was your first significant relationship. I 100% understand what you are expressing. I have been dealing with it for 16 years and know it is a very poor use of my thoughts and energy. It is like a bad habbit. There are sooooo many people in the world. I think sometimes over glorifying a person sets you up for being discontented. I am not sure why this happens. For me it almost feels like I am replaying something over and over in my head for clues or information I am trying to put together to finally get some over looked message. In reality not all questions can be answered. For example why she choose to leave. Not everyone feels the same ways or acts the same ways. Understanding her behaviour should not be your burden. I am telling you what I try to tell myself ... She does not matter. She is not that important. Your feelings towards her made her important, but in the big picture she is no more significant then anyone or anything else in bigger picture. Stop looking for reason or trying to understand what when wrong. Open your eyes and heart up to other possibilities as there is a world full of them. Good luck. And seriously please take what I said in to consideration and learn from my mistakes.
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