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Let him pay for the surgery and then dump his ***. Seriously, this is a terrible way to treat the mother of your child. You deserve better. Pregnancy is no picnic and you don't need this additional stress. Kick him to the curb!!
I've become more and more insecure with myself with each day that passes. My husband skips sex with me because he's "too tired" from work but yet I always discover that he watches porn. And it's always the same type of porn, "big ass", "big booty". I'm not a bad lay at all!! Maybe it's because I'm pregnant and became unattractive to him? Idk, but he doesn't seem to care how much this hurts me. It's not the whole porn watching thing that I have a problem with, it's that I feel he chooses it over me. Now I've become so obsessed with getting plastic surgery after I have this baby, maybe this way he won't have the need to look at other woman in that way... Sigh. Am I over reacting???
You could have complete body reconstruction to look like a porn star, and it most likely wouldn't change the way your spouse looks treats you, I'm sorry.
Men who choose pornography over actual sex with actual women in their actual lives do so in no small part because they get hotter about fantasy than reality. You will always be a real person with wants, needs, likes, and expectations in bed. A chick on a website doesn't come with any of that. It's pure, 100% for-the-viewer fantasy. It's not a reciprocal experience, it's just about the viewer getting off. Until you become a object with no needs to be met, you can't compete with a fantasy. It doesn't matter if you remake your body to become a carbon copy of big booty porn chick or not. You're a real person, and guys who dig fantasy over reality aren't looking for real people, they're looking for objects.
(NOTE, NAYSAYERS, THAT I AM NOT TALKING ABOUT "PEOPLE WHO VIEW PORN," OR SUPPLEMENT A HEALTHY SEXUAL RELATIONSHIP WITH PORN. I AM TALKING ABOUT PEOPLE WHO NEGLECT SEXUAL RELATIONSHIPS WITH THEIR AVAILABLE AND INTERESTED SPOUSES AND PARTNERS AND INSTEAD EXCLUSIVELY USE PORN FOR THEIR SEXUAL EXPERIENCES.)
Also, speaking as someone who is 7 months pregnant, a guy who is neglectful of of the mother of his child's needs (both in the sense that he's withholding sex and in the sense that he's blowing off doctor's appointments when you are about to give birth to stay home and jerk off) is a real piece of work.
You will probably need to get rid of the computer.
Give it away to a friend to hold. Don't bring it back into the house.
When you need to use a computer, you'll need to go to the library
Obviously most people only need to use a computer from time to time, really need to use it I mean
This is a grown man not her child and she has no right to "punish" him for being a bad boy.
How do you know it isn't his computer that he had before she came along?
When you have some real world, real life, real relationship experience you will understand why this is not a good idea.
Original poster, you and your boyfriend/husband whatever he is need to sit down and talk about this issue.
So far you have posted on this forum about it but what has that accomplished so far with the boyfriend getting things worked out?
If he does indeed have an addiction to pornography he needs to seek professional therapy to deal with it.
If he denies he has an addiction and refuses to contain, control or seek therapy for this addiction
YOU need to decide if you want to continue to live like this.
It is your choice for your life and the life of your child.
^^^ he will just go out and buy another computer or watch it on his phone. That won't stop him. And I agree, he is not a child. I dont think removing the computer will resolve the situation.
Original poster, you and your boyfriend/husband whatever he is need to sit down and talk about this issue.
So far you have posted on this forum about it but what has that accomplished so far with the boyfriend getting things worked out?
I have talked to him about it. Like I first posted, he doesn't seem to care how it hurts me. He just keeps doing it, tries to find new ways and techniques for hiding it and prays that I don't find out. I needed to vent, I can't talk to anyone about this. It's too embarrassing, thought maybe this was a good place for it and could find some good advice.
If you have talked to him and he is not responsive, I dont know that there is mucb more you can do. He has to want to change. I am so sorry you are going through this
Since you are so close to have baby, I think your husband might be just too afraid to have sex with you, thinking it might hurt you or your baby. Watching sex on computer is just a sort of substitute to him.
He is trying to hide it from you, because he feels ashamed AND he doesn't want you to think all that crazy stuff you are thinking now. Some guys just don't know how to communicate those fears.
Was the sex good during the first two trimesters? If yes, then please stop thinking CRAZY, talk to him, and give him some time.
You having a baby affect him too. He is probably frustrated and scared.
Since you are so close to have baby, I think your husband might be just too afraid to have sex with you, thinking it might hurt you or your baby. Watching sex on computer is just a sort of substitute to him.
He is trying to hide it from you, because he feels ashamed AND he doesn't want you to think all that crazy stuff you are thinking now. Some guys just don't know how to communicate those fears.
Was the sex good during the first two trimesters? If yes, then please stop thinking CRAZY, talk to him, and give him some time.
You having a baby affect him too. He is probably frustrated and scared.
She already talked to him and he was unresponsive. Plus he is hiding the porn use from her and being deceptive. This is no way to treat an expectant mother, period. I think the only option is to figure out what is best for mother and child. This man seems very self centered and things most likely will not get better after the baby's birth. He has a porn addiction qnd refuses to admit it and is deceiving his wife. Not a good environment to bring a newborn into.
I can't help but think the baby should be given up for adoption and the husband/boyfriend should be dumped. The OP should go into therapy to learn how to pick a better man.
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