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... oh, I am young, handsome and irresistible? And I can HAVE every woman I want?
You think there is a LINE of young, beautiful girls waiting to sleep with him?
What those women bring to the table?
A proper frame of mind as an example. Loads of confidence and security. There are many things that young men have to offer. Ive noticed though that women who are little more prudish and withhold sex (with guys they see as relationship material at least) tend to hate the girls that give it up right away. **** shaming as an example, is almost entirely done by other women - i dont know a single guy who would shame a woman for sleeping with a guy on a first date. It all makes perfect sense to those that get these concepts.
A proper frame of mind as an example. Loads of confidence and security. There are many things that young men have to offer. Ive noticed though that women who are little more prudish and withhold sex (with guys they see as relationship material at least) tend to hate the girls that give it up right away. **** shaming as an example, is almost entirely done by other women - i dont know a single guy who would shame a woman for sleeping with a guy on a first date. It all makes perfect sense to those that get these concepts.
It goes both ways though. The women who do have alot of sex, and fast, shame those who are more conservative. Throwing out words like prude, naive, boring, vanilla, manipulative, princesses, etc. Both sides have people who aren't open-minded. Like this thread with some people saying that women waiting is stupid, they're playing games, or that they need to get out of the 50s. Judgement are passed on more conservative women as well.
These days virgin-shaming happens. It's apparently sad or wrong for an adult to be a virgin. People talk bad about the 50s. But things are reversed nowadays where being sexually free is good. Which is great. But now, it's reversed where being more conservative gets shamed and looked at in a negative way. It's a case of the shoe going on the other foot. It'd be like a woman saying the old days of men being in charge and controlling women is bad, but they in turn expect to control men and have men kiss their ass. Now, they want to be the one controlling things and put the men in the position they hate.
Spoiler
I think of the Roseanne episode. DJ starts dating a girl that calls him an idiot, orders him to open a door for her-like a gentleman, makes him clean dog crap off of her shoes, and calls him stupid for not getting the right flower for her dress. Basically she treated him like a servant. Dan wasn't happy-stating Roseanne would kick a guy's ass if he treated Beck or Darlene that way. And Roseanne loved it. According to her a man starts off life on a thrown, and when he bullies a woman, he's keeping her down. But a woman bullying a man is better, and a step forward to her. Hypocrisy. Just like how she gets pissed at the thought of men "handling" women. But then puts her feet on the table, and takes Dan's food from him and eats it.
The sexually free don't like being s-shamed and judged. But some of those very sexually free people will talk about how being conservative is a bad or pathetic thing. And that it goes hand in hand with being a prude, or hating sex all together, or that they'll suck in bed. etc.
Last edited by HappyRain; 07-23-2015 at 03:56 PM..
I am finding women wanting extremes. Hook up or 6 dates or more
I really want something in between.
I am about to tell one of them, really the only one I am interested, where do you stand on sex because we are moving a bit too slow.
Then I have an older sexy lady on Tinder that was a bit turned off because I didn't want to meet her for a 10 PM drink by her house.
3-5 dates works for me.
How is wanting to meet with someone more than 6 times before having sex extreme?
FYI, if you tell the "only one" you're interested in that things are moving too slow for you, you're probably going to lose her. I certainly would break it off with a guy who told me that my timeline was too slow to accommodate him. That's supposed to be something a couple decides together, not just what works for the man.
You guys just don't get it. Waiting to have sex is not about extremes or prudish behavior. It's self preservation.
How is wanting to meet with someone more than 6 times before having sex extreme?
FYI, if you tell the "only one" you're interested in that things are moving too slow for you, you're probably going to lose her. I certainly would break it off with a guy who told me that my timeline was too slow to accommodate him. That's supposed to be something a couple decides together, not just what works for the man.
You guys just don't get it. Waiting to have sex is not about extremes or prudish behavior. It's self preservation.
I do understand that some men and women feel like it's important to test sexual compatibility as soon as possible. Then there are others who prefer to get to know someone longer before having sex (length of time may vary). As long as both types of people find others with similar mindsets to date, everyone can be happy.
Sure just dont come back on the message board complaining the guy disappeared, and was just looking for sex. If it doesnt bother you if it doesn't work out then u can do whatever u want
This is a great post. Repped.
The people around here are a bunch of libertines, and many of them would have sex with a billy-goat by the side of the road if it sniffed at them twice instead of once.
These people are not thinking about the sustainability of your relationship when they encourage you to jump in the sack as fast as you can. Just keep that in mind. In fact, maybe you don't care about that and are just in it for some fast sex yourself.
Anyway, you are 45 years old and this is surely not your first rodeo. In my experience, relationships that start too fast tend to end too fast as well. Maybe your experience is different.
Last edited by Spartacus713; 07-23-2015 at 04:21 PM..
Hell, I boned my husband on our first date because we had incredible chemistry. We've been together 13 years. I'd say that means something
Relationships that move too fast can occasionally work out, and when they do they make inspiring love stories. But...
Quote:
Originally Posted by Spartacus713
relationships that start too fast tend to end too fast as well.
... no one seems to understand what dating is supposed to be anymore. Nowadays, what gets labeled as a "date" is really just a ... booty call. And while there is nothing at all wrong with just having sex - if you are going to date, then actually date. If you want to build an actual relationship with this person, don't drop your pants within the first 24 hours , because....
...for starters, it shows the other person that you aren't looking for just sex. If you have sex on the first date, no matter what you're looking for he or she will assume it's only sex.
The point of going on a date is to get to know the person. The best setting is over dinner where you have plenty of time to talk, plus you get breaks during courses, allowing you to smooth out the awkwardness and anxiety that almost always exists on first dates.
If the date went well, you find yourself thinking about it the next morning with a smile on your face. You will want to text her, email her or call her and let her know you had a great time and that she's still on your mind. You will want all that without having sex first.
Waiting to first go on a few dates really does increase your chances of making the relationship into an actual relationship.
To all of the men who expect a woman to drop their knickers for you after the first or second date - have any of you been in a long-term relationship with these women?
Also, does it ever cross your mind, that if she has dropped her knickers for you after your first date together, then she could have done this with countless first dates previously?
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or prudish behavior. It's self preservation.
