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On the other hand, in my experience women online are flakey and even more skittish than they are in person. It's hard to create "chemistry" through and email so as a guy it's hard to meet a girl through these sites unless you are very good looking and tall, lie, or make the move at the exactly right time. It's much easier to meet a woman in public, unless you are shy (which can be overcome).
On the other hand, in my experience women online are flakey and even more skittish than they are in person. It's hard to create "chemistry" through and email so as a guy it's hard to meet a girl through these sites unless you are very good looking and tall, lie, or make the move at the exactly right time. It's much easier to meet a woman in public, unless you are shy (which can be overcome).
My girlfriend is on the same site, on the east coast of Florida and convinced me to try it just for a month...so I signed up...My personal opinion of on-line dating is that its easy to hid behind a keyboard & computer because it's not real...in fact, worse than a reality show...ugh! I should have known from the fact that my girlfriend has been on 60 first dates and no follow ups...she's smart, good looking and can't understand why...I think she's freaking addicted to this online dating...I told her I would be canceling my membership the 10th of next month.
My picture looked like me, my date's picture didn't. He was a smooth talker on the phone (we only talked twice) but in person, no chemistry for me...
My girlfriend is on the same site, on the east coast of Florida and convinced me to try it just for a month...so I signed up...My personal opinion of on-line dating is that its easy to hid behind a keyboard & computer because it's not real...in fact, worse than a reality show...ugh! I should have known from the fact that my girlfriend has been on 60 first dates and no follow ups...she's smart, good looking and can't understand why...I think she's freaking addicted to this online dating...I told her I would be canceling my membership the 10th of next month.
My picture looked like me, my date's picture didn't. He was a smooth talker on the phone (we only talked twice) but in person, no chemistry for me...
You've hit the nail on the head.
I think that a lot of people are enamored with the idea of "learning about the 'true person'", which they think can happen online. It doesn't.
And then, there's that whole "pic" thing. Almost like people think that the rest of their presentation will make up for the fact that they flat out LIED about what they look like.
There's always the deal about "chemistry", which is there, or it's not....but thinking that the internet is some sort of way around that is just plain silly.
For the record, I met my current bf of 2 years online. It was on a forum whose theme held a mutual interest for the two of us, but it wasn't until I met him, and spent some serious time with him, that I even began to see the "true him".
I have to laugh every time I see those eharmony commercials. Like a multiple choice exam that takes less than 20 minutes to do will find you your "true love". Not even close.
Anyway, glad you have your bearings about you, and I wish you the best of luck in your dating escapades.
I have herd it on good authority that men in Florida tend to suck at relationships. Two different ladies in two different age groups basically say the same thing. one age group is the 20s and the other is the late 40s and early 50s. Seems some men in the south east don't appreciate the true value of a good woman.
Having said that, online dating is just another tool to meet people you would not ordinarly meet in normal day to day life. Yes some are not worth meeting, but there are more out there than you think that are. The issue is how long and difficult is your shopping list. do you put up mandatory (deal breakers) AND wish lists or do you balance them out so the prospect understands the minimum requirements, plus the prefered requirements. Some of us are too picky and some are not picky enough! One online date is like falling into a swimming pool and having to be saved, and say you went swimming but didn't like it. You have to learn the ropes and what feels right for you before one starts making blanket statements about weather online is good or bad. Be picky, have lots of phone calls, and go for coffee instead of dinner. If you click one or both will ask for a real date! Pin the date down on when they will call, if they don't and don't have a good reason then dump the bast***! They are a waste of time.
If you look close you can tell if the pic is relativly current or not. Technology changes, and an old scanned picture looks that. Old and scanned.
[quote=Arcticthaw;2617815] The issue is how long and difficult is your shopping list. do you put up mandatory (deal breakers) AND wish lists or do you balance them out so the prospect understands the minimum requirements, plus the prefered requirements.
Trust your insitints. Rule #!.[/QUOTE]
I liked your post since it gave the tips for online dating in a nutshell. Too many profiles sound like the person thinks they are ordering from Amazon or Barnes and Noble. The profiles are of people-good and bad traits included. I have had a couple of really nice experiences and some I couldn't get back in my car fast enough! No different than some of the other ways of meeting people except it provides a pseudo filtering system. Some of the profiles make it sound like you had better walk on water, turn the water into wine and serve it. Bah, what a bunch of crap. I really like the phrase on one of the profiles-"we all have baggage, but how we carry it differs". This online stuff is just another tool-a person still needs to use the brain in their head and not assume anything.
I have herd it on good authority that men in Florida tend to suck at relationships. Two different ladies in two different age groups basically say the same thing. one age group is the 20s and the other is the late 40s and early 50s. Seems some men in the south east don't appreciate the true value of a good woman.
Having said that, online dating is just another tool to meet people you would not ordinarly meet in normal day to day life. Yes some are not worth meeting, but there are more out there than you think that are. The issue is how long and difficult is your shopping list. do you put up mandatory (deal breakers) AND wish lists or do you balance them out so the prospect understands the minimum requirements, plus the prefered requirements. Some of us are too picky and some are not picky enough! One online date is like falling into a swimming pool and having to be saved, and say you went swimming but didn't like it. You have to learn the ropes and what feels right for you before one starts making blanket statements about weather online is good or bad. Be picky, have lots of phone calls, and go for coffee instead of dinner. If you click one or both will ask for a real date! Pin the date down on when they will call, if they don't and don't have a good reason then dump the bast***! They are a waste of time.
If you look close you can tell if the pic is relativly current or not. Technology changes, and an old scanned picture looks that. Old and scanned.
I have heard it on good authority that men in Florida tend to suck at relationships. Two different ladies in two different age groups basically say the same thing. one age group is the 20s and the other is the late 40s and early 50s. Seems some men in the south east don't appreciate the true value of a good woman.
My wonderful boyfriend is from Florida. His mom just got remarried and her new husband is very cool. His older sister got married last year, a divorced dad with a son, and he seems very nice. Finally, two of his best friends have recently married and they are also nice guys.
Now his dad, not a nice man to his old family, remarried to an extremely rich brewery company heiress and she thinks that he's great guy. It's all a front though. He does make good money, so it's not like he is being a leech.
Now these people live on the west coast of Florida, so maybe that's where the good men tend to be.
My wonderful boyfriend is from Florida. His mom just got remarried and her new husband is very cool. His older sister got married last year, a divorced dad with a son, and he seems very nice. Finally, two of his best friends have recently married and they are also nice guys.
Now his dad, not a nice man to his old family, remarried to an extremely rich brewery company heiress and she thinks that he's great guy. It's all a front though. He does make good money, so it's not like he is being a leech.
Now these people live on the west coast of Florida, so maybe that's where the good men tend to be.
I live on the West Coast; they're just as kooky here as they are on the East Coast of FL
I think online dating is wonderful. That's how I met my husband, and we've been married for 3.5 years. But I think that people can be way too shallow about physical appearance online, just as they are in real life. Physical appearance is not nearly as important as intellectual chemistry, in my book.
When I posted my profile on the online dating site, I did not include a picture. This was because my philosophy of online dating is to let the intellectual relationship/chemistry develop and see if you're compatible; then bring the physical into it--not the other way around. So I did not post a picture and I was very annoyed by the men who I corresponded with who said that they "required" a picture before they would continue to email me. I thought that was the biggest bunch of cr*p I'd ever heard. I deleted them right away when I heard that--I did not appreciate that my photo was a "pre-requisite" to continued emailing. Why are some people so shallow?
Anyhow, when I met my husband, he also did not have a picture posted, but that was because he didn't have a digital photo to post. Anyhow, we emailed back and forth for a couple weeks and then talked on the phone for a few weeks, all without having a photo of the other person. Our intellectual relationship/chemistry blossomed during this time, and I wanted to meet him. A few days before our first date we exchanged photos, just so we would know who the other person was when we met.
Anyhow, our first date was wonderful, and we knew right away that each other was the one.
I think that if people did not put so much emphasis on the physical aspect of the relationship, and stopped focusing on the other person's appearance so much, people would have more successful relationships--better matches. What's most important is how well you click in terms of personality, values, life goals, intellect, etc.
I'm a big believer in online dating. I've met wonderful people and terrible people via online dating, just like you would be likely to find anywhere else. My current man- who I plan to be with for the long haul- and I met online as well. I've always been upfront with pictures and honestly never really looked twice at profiles that didn't have them. Sure, there is alot more to a person than looks but I just wanted to be sure I didn't mind the sight of them as superficial as that sounds. What I wound up finding was someone I wouldn't have met( all the way up in New England) and wouldn't have dated if we had met somewhere else initally as I tended to have a certain type and just stuck to it. He's not my type in the slightest and really is my opposite in most superficial ways, but on the important stuff we understand eachother and I've never been happier. Lately this dating has turned into talks of marriage and moves. So, obviously I think you should give online dating another try!
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