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Old 07-24-2015, 05:41 PM
 
Location: Middle of the valley
48,407 posts, read 34,571,508 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by stan4 View Post
Thing is, I have had friends on the cusp of getting married whu did not know and were afraid to even ask.
Are they younger? When I married (mid 40s), I knew my spending style, my view of money, the impact that finances can have on a relationship, etc...... I had no problems bringing stuff up.

I mean we even had what-if scenarios "what if you want to buy a brand new car, but I think we should not incur more debt at the present moment - which one do we do?"

We knew going in that we had differing views on money: he doesn't plan on dying with money in the bank, I am happy with lots of money in savings.... But we had worked out how we would deal with this before marriage.
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Old 07-24-2015, 11:14 PM
 
Location: Texas
44,256 posts, read 64,176,606 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Mikala43 View Post
Are they younger? When I married (mid 40s), I knew my spending style, my view of money, the impact that finances can have on a relationship, etc...... I had no problems bringing stuff up.

I mean we even had what-if scenarios "what if you want to buy a brand new car, but I think we should not incur more debt at the present moment - which one do we do?"

We knew going in that we had differing views on money: he doesn't plan on dying with money in the bank, I am happy with lots of money in savings.... But we had worked out how we would deal with this before marriage.
The last one I had this conversation with was in her late 40s.
Second marriage for both.
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Old 07-26-2015, 10:51 AM
 
12,535 posts, read 15,166,923 times
Reputation: 29087
Should it ever come up, my elevator speech will be: "I'm a writer. Short of winning the lottery, I'll never be loaded or even particularly secure, and instead will probably end up dropping dead at my desk with my head on the keyboard, having typed 'The End.'"

If he can't hang with that, he's welcome to go find someone else.

Shouldn't be an issue, though, as I can't imagine marrying again, and that would be the only reason it would be anyone else's business at this point. As a matter of fact, if he brings it up, then I know he might be thinking along those lines, in which case he's welcome to go find someone else, then, too. Could be a good litmus for me, actually. Ask about money, get the boot.
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Old 07-26-2015, 10:56 AM
 
Location: Viña del Mar, Chile
16,393 posts, read 30,854,353 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by kch8489 View Post
When did your SO and yourself discuss and disclose all your financials?
At what point in the relationship were you?

If your partner had debt, was there a plan that both set up or was it on the person that accumulated the debt to pay it off?

I would like to know how couples have handled these issues successfully and your advice. Especially those that have done it before marriage.

My fiancee and I actually talked about these things in the early stages of dating.

She's not a big spender, so I don't worry too much.

In terms of investments, budgets and things like that... it's pretty much me that handles it all but I go over everything with her and show her all the numbers and why I choose what I do. She's never had a complaint.

Debt is debt, it's honestly not that big of a deal as long as you have a nice enough income to offset a loss in quality of life.
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