Maintaining Life Goals While in a Relationship

[Skydive Outlaw]

I tried maintaining my life goals, pursuit of my dreams and aspirations in relationships before.

In every case, the women I was with ultimately cheated and transitions to relationships where the guy they were with made his special cupcake & the relationship his primary life goal.

[Mr. Analyst]

Originally Posted by Adhom

I think a good litmus test on whether a relationship is built on solid foundations is gauge how often you spend time thinking "I'd rather be doing something else" when spending time with her. You may think you are are being completely rational in trying to achieve both quality time with her and achieving personal goals but really what I'm hearing is your feelings for this woman has already plateaued.

In my OP, I state that I really like her, in fact, I love her. So how are you coming to the conclusion that my feelings have plateaued?

I have goals that I'd like to achieve for my own personal and professional development. I believe that most ambitious people do. I feel that these have taken a back seat over the past several months as a result of a blossoming romantic relationship. I'm trying to find a middle ground so that I can work on both is all.

[karinejackson]

I agree with Mikala. Mr. Analyst should definitely sit down with his partner and be honest. Let her know that you care for her and just be honest with her. If she is understanding and unselfish then I don't foresee any issues. But if the worst should happen try to work it out if she is hurt by this and feel like she wants to break up then you have to have a serious talk.

Sometimes in an early relationship one partner wants to spend a lot of time and this is totally understandable, but their has to be balance and fairness. She has to see through what you trying to accomplish will benefit both of you in the end result. Wish you all the best

[reneeh63]

Originally Posted by Adhom

I think a good litmus test on whether a relationship is built on solid foundations is gauge how often you spend time thinking "I'd rather be doing something else" when spending time with her. You may think you are are being completely rational in trying to achieve both quality time with her and achieving personal goals but really what I'm hearing is your feelings for this woman has already plateaued.

I disagree - quite the opposite - he enjoys spending time with her so much that he's afraid he may be neglecting other things.

It's natural at the beginning of the relationship to spend lots of time together...at some point though you need to return to some kind of balance - and yes, that can be a turning point where you both have to adjust. Just let her know and see what things she may have been sacrificing - she might be relieved herself, but in a good way! It's a sign of the relationship maturing and it'll either work out and you'll continue to grow...or you won't but you need to know at some point.