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Old 07-30-2015, 04:36 PM
 
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I was thinking about this, because we all have our dealbreakers but some might be more important to us than others for reasons that are not immediately obvious.

For example, when I was actively dating, I only considered liberal atheists (or at least liberal secularists). I was the only person like me in my family, and I've always felt like a bit of an outsider, even if they loved me very much. If I'm going to share my life with someone, I'm going to want them to mesh with me on those two points in particular. Yeah, I've got a lot of liberal atheist friends, but I want to be able to have that same ease with whoever I'm romantically entangled with.

The other one is that they must at least tolerate my dogs. This is because I basically was training dogs from the time I could walk. I can't conceive of a life without a canine companion. I mean, I can, but it would be rather boring and pointless. When I was away at college and living in a dorm, it was excruciating not to have a pet.

So those are my odd dealbreakers and the reasons behind them.
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Old 07-30-2015, 05:09 PM
 
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my biggest deal breaker is people that abuse drugs and alcohol. when that happens they get out of control and cause all kinds of problems, and that i dont need.i dont mind social drinkers, and if you have to take prescription meds, that is also fine, just dont abuse them.

as for dogs, i love them, and they generally love me. and the ones that dont, eventually do anyway.
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Old 07-30-2015, 05:17 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by rbohm View Post
my biggest deal breaker is people that abuse drugs and alcohol. when that happens they get out of control and cause all kinds of problems, and that i dont need.i dont mind social drinkers, and if you have to take prescription meds, that is also fine, just dont abuse them.

as for dogs, i love them, and they generally love me. and the ones that dont, eventually do anyway.
I love dogs too. The abusers of alcohol I cannot handle. In fact, I cannot be with a drinker at all. I am a recovering alcoholic myself and I was one of those trouble makers when I was drinking, so I know, we can be the worst type of person to deal with when we are into that mess.

I only hope that if and when I am ready for a relationship that I don't scare off too many people because I will always be labeled an "alcoholic" whether I am sober or not, I feel it will be a deal breaker for many, except others in recovery--(heck, got a bunch of them after me...LOL!)
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Old 07-30-2015, 05:22 PM
 
Location: Earth
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Agreed with rbohm

Having a drunk for a father, I don't care for people who drink often, or social drinking that gets out of hand. And any kind of recreational drug use. Smoking - Can't tolerate the smoke. Irritates my eyes, and makes breathing difficult. Found that out from dealing with smokers lol

Others, again from seeing my parents. Can't handle know-it-alls who you can't tell anything.

Dress style with guys wearing pants down off of their butt, like so
http://www.musedmagonline.com/wp-con...ging_pants.jpg
http://acidcow.com/pics/20100412/sagging_pants_18.jpg
http://themilwaukeedrum.files.wordpr...aggy-pants.jpg
I see this a good bit where I live, and I just find it sloppy and unattractive. So, purely personal taste there. But the guys I was acquainted with who dressed as such were usually the bad boys. Add tons of jewelry to that-lots of chains, gold teeth, grills.

Not into Monogamy - I am fond of monogamy, Any kind of open relationship wouldn't really be for me. Not to say a guy is my possession, but for lack of a better word, I don't care to share a man I had serious interest in. And I would prefer he not want to share me with anyone else either.

Any kind of hatred toward a specific group of people. Race, Religion, Sexuality, etc. To disagree with something is one thing. But going far as to hate it and an entire group is taking it too far. Hating takes alot of energy and negativity. Not attractive traits.

This is it really. Far as specifics that everyone may not have. So I excluded all of the more natural stuff-like not liking someone who doesn't wash regularly for example and stinks.

Last edited by HappyRain; 07-30-2015 at 06:11 PM..
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Old 07-30-2015, 05:38 PM
 
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My principal dealbreaker is the question of children. I can't intertwine my life with a woman who has children, or who desires to have children. Everything else is negotiable.

Like the OP, I'm a left-leaning (at least on some subjects) atheist, but I'd rather be dating a child-free conservative devout Christian/Muslim/Jew, than a left-leaning atheist who has a kid (or who wishes to have a kid).

However, all three attributes are closely correlated. Atheists tend to be liberal-ish, or possibly libertarian. Child-free people are far more likely to atheistic, than would the general populace, since most religions place emphasis on reproduction.

Even in the small-town Midwest, there are plenty of people who aren't socially conservative and who are largely detached from organized religion, if not outright secular. They're in the minority, but it is a substantial minority - maybe around 10% or even 20%. But what of people in their 40s, who neither have children, nor wish to have them? That I'd say is an excruciatingly tiny minority.
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Old 07-30-2015, 05:54 PM
 
544 posts, read 526,007 times
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No job
No car or license
If he does drugs
alcoholic

bad hygiene
Lazyness
Cheating
Liar
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Old 07-30-2015, 06:22 PM
 
32,452 posts, read 26,317,069 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by rosebyanothername View Post
I love dogs too. The abusers of alcohol I cannot handle. In fact, I cannot be with a drinker at all. I am a recovering alcoholic myself and I was one of those trouble makers when I was drinking, so I know, we can be the worst type of person to deal with when we are into that mess.

I only hope that if and when I am ready for a relationship that I don't scare off too many people because I will always be labeled an "alcoholic" whether I am sober or not, I feel it will be a deal breaker for many, except others in recovery--(heck, got a bunch of them after me...LOL!)
i dont mind recovering alcoholics. you realized you had a problem, and you are dealing with. i respect that, and would never drink around you out of respect.
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Old 07-30-2015, 07:28 PM
 
Location: Jupiter
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Biggest dealbreaker I have are women who can't stop talking about their ex's or male friends. I don't want to hear about them.
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Old 07-30-2015, 08:41 PM
 
13,677 posts, read 13,587,189 times
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Well, we've already got plenty of dealbreaker threads on here, but I'm specifically looking at the reasons for your less typical ones. Like, as mentioned, people who won't drink alcohol abusers because their parent was an alcoholic (though not wanting to date an alcoholic seems pretty standard to me, lol).
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Old 07-30-2015, 11:23 PM
 
32,452 posts, read 26,317,069 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by JrzDefector View Post
Well, we've already got plenty of dealbreaker threads on here, but I'm specifically looking at the reasons for your less typical ones. Like, as mentioned, people who won't drink alcohol abusers because their parent was an alcoholic (though not wanting to date an alcoholic seems pretty standard to me, lol).
i have very few deal breakers. and they are things that deal with personality, and addiction/abuse. and that is really it.
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