He's a loving boyfriend, but he never takes me out, should I break it off with him?

[rbohm]

Originally Posted by PolarOpposite

So, I have been dating this guy. I didn't want to push the "relationship" label because he hasn't taken me out on a proper date. All we do is go to bars, and he'll pay for drinks, but I can tell he is really selfish because when he buys stuff, it's for him. He never took me out to eat, he never wants to go anywhere but bars, and it's not even fun, cool bars. It's scuzzy, old people bars.

He claims how much he is in love with me, how he's going to marry me, have babies with me, etc. I tried breaking it off with him, but he threatened suicide, and showed up at my house drinking a whole fifth of vodka because he was trying to "kill himself", because he can't deal with me not being in his life. The only reason why I broke it off is because he mentioned his ex Lizzy, and wanted all of us to hang out, and he spoke highly of her, so I didn't feel comfortable with it. He kept bringing her up though, knowing it's a touchy subject for me, so that's when I was like "we're done. If you want to be with her, be with her then. Don't toy me around." He claims she is a longtime friend , and they tried the dating thing, but it didn't work out. He claims he would only be friends with her, and he loves me too much. He always says I am the "one", his "soulmate", his "everything" etc etc.

He kept making suicide threats when I broke it off with him, so out of pity I guess, I took him back. He is really loving, but he doesn't do the normal boyfriend things, that I feel he should do. He has yet to take me anywhere other than a bar. He has yet to buy me anything. I didn't have sex with him yet, but it's because I am weary of him.

What should I do? Break it off for good? I'm sorry, but my attitude is, if you are going to be my boyfriend, and you are sooo "in love" with me, then you have to play the part. Take me out, and show me a good time. I suggested that to him, and he just says "Ok", but never actually does it. He is a trucker so he makes like $1200 a week, so he makes more than enough to do a lot of things. I need people's opinions, because he also brought up Lizzy again when he knows that she was the reason I broke it off with him. He says he was just trying to be"honest", and tell me that she's "hitting him up" cause we are together, and it's "only right". I don't know how to take him because he says all the right things to me, and is super in love with me, yet he doesn't court me around, or do anything with me besides going to a bar, and he buys himself things he needs, or wants, but not me. Tell me your thoughts. Thanks.

girl, chances are this guy is hiding something, like a wife and kids. and his time with you is time away from them, and he doesnt want anyone he knows seeing you with him and it getting back to his wife.

you can bet that is why he isnt taking anywhere nice. dump his butt today, and if he threatens suicide, call the cops. but do not let this guy back into your life, let alone your home.

[WannaliveinGreenville]

1. He is NOT your boyfriend. He is your "bar-fly friend."

2. He is a drunk. (drinking a 5th of vodka)

3. You met at a bar. Now that's quality dating....

4. You are the "re-bound-girl" He has feelings for his ex and you are handy,....right there for him. You are going to get HURT by being the re-bound, which means he wants her back and you will do in the meantime until he does get her back.

5. You have a pity-based friendship. That is all.

6. He can afford to treat you like a girlfriend but he is BS'ing you because he does NOT see you as his girlfriend. If he did, he would be having sex with you, taking you out, being affectionate. He would be buying you little trinkets of affection and being a GREAT boyfriend who does NOT take you to bars only...

7. STOP being available for him. STOP taking him back. Stop believing his is going to kill himself, and even if he did, it would be HIM who is to blame, for screwing up his own life.