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I've always been attracted to men who are highly intelligent and are decent looking. Not necessarily Einstein smart, but they can hold conversations and talk about any subject, they have a good educational background and a good career.
However, I've never dated a man that was smarter and more educated than me.
I'm educated and people often describe me as smart.
Also, when I do talk to some of these smarter men, they don't seem to like it when they learn that I'm actually smarter than I appear to be.
They usually go for much younger, more naive and gorgeous girls.
My question is how can I attract these highly intelligent and successful men?
In your post, you claimed to be smart, or Intelligent, four times. What's the difference between the guys you dated, talking about biceps, and you talking about how smart you are? There is none.
You don't need to tell anyone how intelligent you are. An intelligent person will know how smart you are by just watching you do things. Even a "Message" or a "Post" will tell a lot about you.
You might try being a lot more humble, and a better listener. Take a better look at yourself first. Admit and know your weaknesses, and your strengths. Each person knows their faults, if they are honest enough to admit them, and can only improve themselves then. An intelligent person can see beyond what is visual, and can tell more about you by the way you walk, talk, and act, without saying a word to you.
And they don't go for the younger more naïve girls. They go for Mature, well balanced, women that carry themselves well, are fun to be with, have some wit, and aren't over bearing. Some one who would make a best friend first.
There are guys with IQ's of 165 who work as bouncers. There was a documentary specifically about people with IQ's over 150 and the correlation of lack of success. They just didn't care.
How true. I had a friend who has a 100% total photographic memory. He remembers everything he scans, and in perfect order. He can glance at a rod map, and be your GPS, or read a book and recite it for you, word for word, a week later. He spoke seven languages and 5 different dialects of Chinese.
I was with him when he turned down a Job with MCM as a the head of Sales for 1/4 of the United States, with a Chauffer, a Limo, and access at any time to a Corporate Jet. The man begged him to take the job, and wanted him to tell him what kind of money it would take. He said he knew it would be in the "high six figures" and said he was likely thinking higher than my friend was. He passed on it. Last time I saw him, he was driving a waste oil truck for some hole in the wall company. No ambition whatsoever, and all the smarts in the World. We kid of grew apart after that stupidity.
As a highly intelligent and semi-attractive man, I can tell you that intelligent men that you seek to attract are not easy to attract.
Intelligent men value different characteristics in a women. But looks do play a part in whether a man is attracted to you or not, regardless of intelligence.
My advice is to look good and create kino early on with your man of desire, which can greatly improve your chances.
There is no such thing as a man who won't like you once you make his pants wet.
She's saying it that way because sometimes it's bad form to say you're smart.
It sounds a little like the OP simply wants someone she can talk to, have something in common with, chew the cud with about a broad spectrum of ideas, not get bored with, and she's not presently finding it.
Do many women understand just how important visual presentation is?
And someone she doesn't have to be so self-reliant with. Sounds like it would be nice to hand over the reins on some of those responsibilities and can't say I blame her.
Quote:
Originally Posted by funymann
Dumb themselves down.... Hmm.
Never heard THAT before. Lol!
Is that an oxy-moron? Look it up.
Her that ladies?! Don't get a macrocephaly!
How old are you Mr. funymann? That one has been around forever and as far as I know it's still used. Probably has to do with where you're from.
There are guys with IQ's of 165 who work as bouncers. There was a documentary specifically about people with IQ's over 150 and the correlation of lack of success. They just didn't care.
Great post.
I view an IQ up over 150 as potentially closer to a curse than a blessing in a number of cases I've seen in life.
There are a number of social disfunctions as well as borderline mental illnesses that can crop up as well as IMO outright boredom and inability to relate to others depending upon your peer group and schooling opportunities and so forth.
Mathematically speaking, it's just unlikely. Think about the criteria you're looking at:
1. Successful (career track white collar job)
2. Single
3. Intelligent AND well read
Roughly 20% of the jobs available in the economy could be described as a professional, career-track job (work in an office, salaried, realistically able to expect consistent increases in salary for the first 15 years, etc), so right off the top you're eliminating 4/5 of the potential dating pool as having no long term potential.
Next up, you're obviously not looking for men who are married or in a long term relationship with another woman. So out of the 20% you've reduced yourself, halve that figure. That leaves you 10%.
You're not looking for a genius, but it's also not enough to have an intelligent person who is monomaniacally focused on one particular subject. No idiot savants, right? You want a well rounded, well read intelligent guy. And that's where the math gets squishy, because there just isn't enough data out there. Depending on your exact criteria, you'd have to shrink the pool of men from 10% to anywhere between 1 and 5%.
And that's not counting all the things you would consider in a mate but didn't specify in your original post. Things like height, age, weight. I doubt you'd be attracted to a successful, intelligent, well read guy who's twice your age, shorter than you, with an incredibly ugly face. That substantially narrows the pool of available men. In a room of 1000 men, you've probably reduced yourself down to 1 or 2 candidates within that room that fit your spoken and unspoken criteria.
At this point, I'd have to question just how successful/attractive you are. Because if you had a career track job and worked in an office, there should be at least a few "marriageable" men that would be attracted to you unless you worked in some really gender/age specific industry.
tl;dr: You're looking for something that's in short supply and you may not be that big of a catch yourself, despite what you originally wrote.
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