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Is this the way it's done these days? This sounds like an interrogation. Whatever happened to "What hobbies/ interests do you have? What's your family background? What were your favorite subjects in college?" Or was that kind of thing covered already in the messaging back and forth, the 2 weeks prior to the date?
Yeah, it's a drag when the convo doesn't flow, and when the date clams up or is awkward. But bombarding her with the type of prying questions you asked wouldn't help alleviate that.
Oh well. As you said, there were signs from the start, since before the date, that it wasn't a good match. So you're learning to recognize those signs. That's worth something.
I agree. It sounds OP like you were maybe being passive-aggressive. I feel those questions are not appropriate nor necessary, I'd have discussed things like TV shows or sports teams to try to find common ground. I/m not sure why you even knew she had FWB before, the stuff you kids discuss, geez..I don't get it but you sure know how to take the fun and intrigue out of a date.
Again OP it sounds like you didn't really want to go, then went but kind of punished her because you didn't want to be there.
I agree. It sounds OP like you were maybe being passive-aggressive. I feel those questions are not appropriate nor necessary, I'd have discussed things like TV shows or sports teams to try to find common ground. I/m not sure why you even knew she had FWB before, the stuff you kids discuss, geez..I don't get it but you sure know how to take the fun and intrigue out of a date.
Again OP it sounds like you didn't really want to go, then went but kind of punished her because you didn't want to be there.
She didn't want to be there either. That's what she said in the text on Monday. These questions also came after making suggestions for bowling to kill some time and she had a rebuttal about the alley shoes. So I felt, okay, if you don't have any suggestions or like my suggestions, we'll just slide right into these questions then.
There's no hard feelings in the end. We just weren't a match and it was evident. Plus I learned things about herself when she said she willingly was involved with a married man. Her excuse was that he was hot. Wow! And you just got out of a relationship where your boyfriend was cheating on you quite a bit.
I think she did it to get power back and build her self confidence along with all the FWBs she was juggling during that time. I've been there so I understand, at least on the FWB part. Never been one to cheat.
We just had different personalities and different wants. Where I'm super outgoing, she's more closed off. I could be around big groups of people all the time, she really couldn't. We both admitted that we just weren't right for each other and were looking for different things. I really wish I would have cancelled the date, but in this experience, I learned that I need to cancel dates I'm not excited to go out on.
If you're in the middle of a date and discover it's not working, shouldn't you call it?
I just had a lunch date with a guy who works a few buildings over and it was mind numbing. About 15 minutes in, I asked him if I could be honest, and then proceeded to tell him it wasn't working. To my surprise, he said something about not forcing it and left it at that. Bad date, but he surprised me by not reacting harshly. Very refreshing.
If you're in the middle of a date and discover it's not working, shouldn't you call it?
I just had a lunch date with a guy who works a few buildings over and it was mind numbing. About 15 minutes in, I asked him if I could be honest, and then proceeded to tell him it wasn't working. To my surprise, he said something about not forcing it and left it at that. Bad date, but he surprised me by not reacting harshly. Very refreshing.
Never thought about it to be honest. It's something that I can note for myself in the future.
When I was dating for fun I didn't bother with hard questions, really. But when I was more serious about a relationship, later in my dating adventures, that's when I truly cared about compatibility and not wasting my time.
The vast majority of the time a lot of the meaty, "tough" questions were discussed during very early phone conversations, which meant less awkwardness and interview-style first dates. It felt much more organic when a lot of the important things were discussed early on, which is the basis for how I determine/assess compatibility before the first date. After these matters were addressed it allowed for more "fluff" and light-hearted issues without worrying or thinking in the back of my head how I'll mention or bring up tough or more serious questions.
The vast majority of the time a lot of the meaty, "tough" questions were discussed during very early phone conversations, which meant less awkwardness and interview-style first dates. It felt much more organic when a lot of the important things were discussed early on, which is the basis for how I determine/assess compatibility before the first date. After these matters were addressed it allowed for more "fluff" and light-hearted issues without worrying or thinking in the back of my head how I'll mention or bring up tough or more serious questions.
Totally agree. It's some of things I needed to know before I could determine if I wanted to date you.
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I had a date semi blow up on me one time because i didn't know the difference between a catholic and a Montessori school was. She was in education and took offense to it where i was just making talk and being curious about school systems.
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