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Been dating for 7 months, he implied a while back that he might be proposing by july next year but hasnt really mentioned anything since, when i ask him about the future now he says he has serious intentions however he cant predict the future? he also said thinking about the future scares him? what does this even mean... its confusing the hell out of me, he is 31 and im 22, and hes in his final year of completing a PhD... and only working occasionally and i understand he is stressed with his study..
He has also mentioned that he wants kids in the next 2 years max? and on another occasion he said he wants them right after he finishes his phD ..
I was going to move states for my study choices this following year hence why i asked for his intentions cause if he has serious ones im happy to work around it and stay where i am and study here just for him.. but if he doesnt propose and hes not serious its going to be a waste of my time, yeah i pretty much want assurance, hmm am i being to needy? or should he know what he wants? i dont want to stay here and then end up getting ****** over..
You've only been dating seven months. It's too early to be planning your wedding.
Tell him what your plans are but don't mention marriage. Let him tell you what his plans are.
Or, if you think he's serious, study in your home country one more year. If he doesn't have a job, you can go to the states without second guessing yourself.
You two should have a serious conversation about both of your plans.
Also majority of PhDs will go for a postdoc and sometimes that could be in another Country/State so try to get an idea of where he wants to go as well. Maybe you two might like the same location, you never know.
Been dating for 7 months, he implied a while back that he might be proposing by july next year but hasnt really mentioned anything since, when i ask him about the future now he says he has serious intentions however he cant predict the future? he also said thinking about the future scares him? what does this even mean... its confusing the hell out of me, he is 31 and im 22, and hes in his final year of completing a PhD... and only working occasionally and i understand he is stressed with his study..
He has also mentioned that he wants kids in the next 2 years max? and on another occasion he said he wants them right after he finishes his phD ..
I was going to move states for my study choices this following year hence why i asked for his intentions cause if he has serious ones im happy to work around it and stay where i am and study here just for him.. but if he doesnt propose and hes not serious its going to be a waste of my time, yeah i pretty much want assurance, hmm am i being to needy? or should he know what he wants? i dont want to stay here and then end up getting ****** over..
You are 22. Dating for 7 months. You are VERY young and you have LOTS of TIME. Chill out and enjoy being part of a happy couple.
I'll go out on a limb and say, no, he's not thinking of marrying you. Like usamathman said, guys make this clear early on. If he's giving you mixed signals, assume the answer is no. And like D217 says, plan your future for yourself for now... and don't wait around and put things on hold for someone who may never come around.
Been dating for 7 months, he implied a while back that he might be proposing by july next year but hasnt really mentioned anything since, when i ask him about the future now he says he has serious intentions however he cant predict the future? he also said thinking about the future scares him? what does this even mean... its confusing the hell out of me, he is 31 and im 22, and hes in his final year of completing a PhD... and only working occasionally and i understand he is stressed with his study.. He has also mentioned that he wants kids in the next 2 years max? and on another occasion he said he wants them right after he finishes his phD ..
I was going to move states for my study choices this following year hence why i asked for his intentions cause if he has serious ones im happy to work around it and stay where i am and study here just for him.. but if he doesnt propose and hes not serious its going to be a waste of my time, yeah i pretty much want assurance, hmm am i being to needy? or should he know what he wants? i dont want to stay here and then end up getting ****** over..
OP, it sounds like he doesn't know what he wants. If thinking about the future scares him, he's pretty immature for 31 with an almost complete PhD. He also contradicts himself: he wants kids in the next 2 years (which means you'd have to get pregnant within a year and a quarter), but he can't predict the future, and it scares him? You don't need a guy this scattered and confused.
Do what's best for you, and let the chips fall where they may. 22 is awfully young to be marrying and starting a family, anyway. Pursue the best education you can get, wherever that is. If he's serious about being serious, he'll suggest a long-distance relationship, or he'll try to find a job near where you move to. With a brand-new PhD, that should be doable, if he really wants that. If he doesn't make any attempt to further the relationship, you'll know you made the right decision by going out-of-state for your studies.
Frankly, he doesn't sound motivated. And your plans for your education aren't compatible with his child-rearing timeline, such as it is. He wants you to be a mommy in just 2 years (even though thinking about the future supposedly scares him), while it sounds like you're heading off to grad school. You two don't have compatible goals. 7 months is way too soon to be talking about marriage, and demanding you produce a child, anyway. That's POST http://www
Last edited by Ruth4Truth; 08-12-2015 at 11:54 AM..
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