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I find a lot of condemnation of this man for living with his parents. I would not recommend condemning the man so quickly. Remember, you're only getting one side of the story, and that from a women who wanted him to change drastically.
Sometimes children stay with their parents to help them financially, or with supervision or physical help because of ailments. I know a man who lived with his mother into his 40's, but he stayed there because his mother was in a wheelchair and his dad was physically unable on his own to care for his mother. Sometimes we are better off saying nothing about a situation before you know all the facts. Otherwise you find yourself saying about yourself, "Open mouth, insert foot."
I find a lot of condemnation of this man for living with his parents. I would not recommend condemning the man so quickly. Remember, you're only getting one side of the story, and that from a women who wanted him to change drastically.
Sometimes children stay with their parents to help them financially, or with supervision or physical help because of ailments. I know a man who lived with his mother into his 40's, but he stayed there because his mother was in a wheelchair and his dad was physically unable on his own to care for his mother. Sometimes we are better off saying nothing about a situation before you know all the facts. Otherwise you find yourself saying about yourself, "Open mouth, insert foot."
This is not a guy who takes care of his parents but wants to move out and be independent. Or the guy who finishes up his degree and then moves out ...
This guy here is playing video games every day, is lazy, no ambitions, gets his laundry done, dinnner ready when he comes home and doesn't want to move out because he likes being mommy's little baby and is scared of leaving the nest.
I find a lot of condemnation of this man for living with his parents. I would not recommend condemning the man so quickly. Remember, you're only getting one side of the story, and that from a women who wanted him to change drastically.
I don't ever recall a thread where both sides of the story were represented. It is understood that those replying to a thread, provided the story sounds plausible, are replying subject to the facts being true. There was nothing about the OP's story that did not seem plausible. Most of us have known such men.
OP, just curious on average how much is rent in your area? Average price for a normal sized house in your area?
Unless he is going to inherit some property and money from his parents, most likely he would be sponging off you till you die. Did you make significantly more?
Anyways it's good that you broke up. You saved yourself from a future divorce from this man-child.
He may be telling the truth about saving for a down payment and then some.
I worked with a guy who lived with his parents until he was 37, worked low paying jobs and spend his free time playing paintball and video games, lost girlfriends behind it, parents thought he was a lazy slacker etc etc..
then one day he moved out into a small house he paid cash for free and clear, turned out he had been saving since college, he just did not want to risk a mortgage and lose it before he finished paying.
And nobody knew what his plan was in-case he failed.
I find your story a bit sad. He should have let in on his future plans with one of his GFs at the time. Instead he chose the appearance of being a lazy slacker and it cost him a potential happy relationship. It's great that he lives mortgage free. But if it ended up with him being alone that would be sad imho.
In asia, people live with their parents even if their married. Basically, its a three generation household which can be great if you get along with the grandparents as you will have someone to take care of your kids anytime, and elder people can retire because they live with their kids and grandkids.
Americans seem to be scared of interdependence and overrate independence. There's a joke about Americans in Asia...in asia, they take in their parents in old age as a gratitude for taking care of them from birth until they were married and sometimes, even if they are married. Americans just send their elderly to "home for the aged".
In asia, people live with their parents even if their married. Basically, its a three generation household which can be great if you get along with the grandparents as you will have someone to take care of your kids anytime, and elder people can retire because they live with their kids and grandkids.
Americans seem to be scared of interdependence and overrate independence. There's a joke about Americans in Asia...in asia, they take in their parents in old age as a gratitude for taking care of them from birth until they were married and sometimes, even if they are married. Americans just send their elderly to "home for the aged".
The difference here though is the man is a slacker with no motivation to move out. Mommy cleans, cooks, and probably dresses him while he plays video games and offers nothing in return. It's not like he's contributing anything other than his presence. What you're talking about is a mutually beneficial family dynamic what the OP is describing is anything but.
How do you know? Are you there at his parents house 24/7? Is she at his parents house 24/7
With the OP mentioning her masters degree at the opening of the post, I suspect that she doesnt want to live with him because she wants her partner to bring home the bacon and still do most of the house chores. What does a masters deg have to do with not being lazy?
But hey its her call. I dont see the point of "collecting" opinions against him...esp even after breaking up with him.
I suspect the OP is just your typical entitled American woman who cant cook from scratch (i bet her masters wasnt in culinary) and hires an agency to clean her place.
Looks like a case that her partner is "just" a construction worker, not someone with PhD in Business Management. She's worried she's "marrying down". Otherwise, she wont flaunt her "masters degree".
How do you know? Are you there at his parents house 24/7? Is she at his parents house 24/7
With the OP mentioning her masters degree at the opening of the post, I suspect that she doesnt want to live with him because she wants her partner to bring home the bacon and still do most of the house chores. What does a masters deg have to do with not being lazy?
But hey its her call. I dont see the point of "collecting" opinions against him...esp even after breaking up with him.
I suspect the OP is just your typical entitled American woman who cant cook from scratch (i bet her masters wasnt in culinary) and hires an agency to clean her place.
Looks like a case that her partner is "just" a construction worker, not someone with PhD in Business Management. She's worried she's "marrying down". Otherwise, she wont flaunt her "masters degree".
somebody hit a nerve here.
Do you live with your parents?
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