The approach (dating, wife, marriage, women) - Dating, marriage, boyfriends, girlfriends, men, women, friends, attraction ... - City-Data Forum

dookniner · 01-25-2008, 08:11 PM

The hardest part of dating is the initial approach. After that it is a breeze. Just left a long term relationship I've been in since I was 14. I'm now a sophmore in college, and I'm pretty sure the rules on getting dates and asking girls out has changed since Jr. High. So you college age ladies, what do you want

I'm not a dork or anything, I just hadn't needed to pick up girls in such a long time.

SmerkyGrl · 01-26-2008, 05:04 AM

The first rule of picking up girls and asking them out is....don't.

If you want a lasting, sustaining relationship, you have to make friends as just regular human beings first.

Only after you've established conversation can you go to the date. Otherwise, it'd be awfully awkward and weird.

...dork :P

Robhu · 01-26-2008, 05:46 AM

I'm a long way past college age but I agree with SmerkyGrl.
Let a natural friendship develope and just be yourself. Putting on a show or going out of your way to impress is artificial and the girl will see right through it. Don't get in a hurry. The good ones will be turned off if they feel they are being rushed into a relationship.
I'm a male so I probably shouldn't even respond to this but the first step to a lasting relationship is mutual respect and friendship. My wife and I were just good friends for 2 years before we got in a romantic relationship. Twenty five years later we are still best friends.
They need to know they really LIKE you as you are before they can Love you.
It takes time, but it lasts.

Dennis58 · 01-26-2008, 07:02 AM

Well, here is how it was with me. The woman I really wanted to go out with was a hard-to-get-to-know type person. Plus, she had only been out of a long, and abusive type of marriage for about a year and a half. Of course, I didn't know any of that, at the time. I stewed and brewed, and fought with myself about how I might be able to date her. I talked with her whenever I could, and we finally made it up to having phone conversations. But, they might be only every few days, or so. I finally ended up just asking her to go shopping with me. I really didn't view that as a date, but I was on cloud nine when she agreed to go. Now, just to not put myself in a bad light here, it wasn't as if I couldn't find some female company if I really wanted too. But this woman was SPECIAL to me. I had taken more than a simple likeing to her, right off the bat. So we went shopping, had lunch at an italian resterant, and even went for a walk in the city park. But, what almost killed the deal was this. I was very complimentive of her, and everything that pertained to her. It was over-kill, and she flat-out told me so. But, all in all, it was a great day, and is one of my greatest memories of our early days. Our second date was a tour of a museum, and a walk down by the river. It was a very slow development of a relationship, but it did happen. We have now been together four years, and are engaged to be married. So, would I have been this patient for any girl I dated? NO! I would have dropped most women off at the museum, and told them I'd pick them back up in a few hours, if they were still there. (I hate museums!) But, when you find the right one for you, I believe you will just KNOW somehow! I hope I've been of some help to you. Good luck!!

lashonda123 · 01-26-2008, 02:07 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by dookniner

The hardest part of dating is the initial approach. After that it is a breeze. Just left a long term relationship I've been in since I was 14. I'm now a sophmore in college, and I'm pretty sure the rules on getting dates and asking girls out has changed since Jr. High. So you college age ladies, what do you want

I'm not a dork or anything, I just hadn't needed to pick up girls in such a long time.

Well when you first meet someone you are nearvous and you don't know if the person is going to turn you down. Well i say you have to think cause some females don't like in and out of relationships but some are crazy and they do. But if you like or think you want to make a move then try it and give it a try there is someone out there for everybody but not everybody think that but i do and im young and been though some stuff with males but you have to live life and don't let it live you cause if you do you will never be happy i say everyone deserve somebody in there life. You sound like a nice young man if they turn you down maybe your not what they are looking for or they are just ungreatful for what GOD sent to there life

Tzaphkiel · 01-26-2008, 02:14 PM

Treat her with respect.
Don't try to be someone you are not.
Don't try to show off or impress her.
Listen more than you talk.
Ask about her and pay attention to what she is saying.
If you are going out with someone and are nervous, have it be something casual and low key and fun, less likely to be awkward.
Treat the waiter / waitress at the restaurant with respect.

dookniner · 01-28-2008, 01:13 PM

Thank you that is helpful. Maybe I should have said that I wasn't really looking for another relationship. just dates.

Tzaphkiel · 01-28-2008, 02:20 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by dookniner

Thank you that is helpful. Maybe I should have said that I wasn't really looking for another relationship. just dates.

probably a good idea NOT to tell her that....LOL

Linkin2100 · 03-18-2008, 09:39 PM

Dookniner ! Man come on it's easy ! Be yourself, be respectful and the best pick up line is "Smile" then come up and say Hi My name is DOOKNINER ! and then start into a conversation about something, like where you are or what your drinking........ Thats it man worked everytime for me, don't worry if she blows you off theres alot of fish in the sea so cast out and reel in a few ! Remember if she gave you TWO eye contacts then you need to make a move and say something, One is not enough ! She might of been looking at the guy behind you ! GOODLUCK BUD ! REPRESENT ALL THE GOOD GUYS OUT THERE !!!!

miu · 03-18-2008, 10:05 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by dookniner

Thank you that is helpful. Maybe I should have said that I wasn't really looking for another relationship. just dates.

Yeah, no girl will what to hear that. LOL! But there is nothing wrong with asking a girl out for coffee to discuss some class homework. Start out with asking girls out to do things of common interests and activities. Go slow. Be friends first. Don't lead a girl on with a ton of flattery only to not want to be exclusive with her. Do be respectful of her. Make her laugh.

I suppose you like being single, but don't become a player.