Has Tinder Really Sparked a Dating Apocalypse? (man, husband, family)
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It's more than friends. I set up a basic clean profile with about 60 friends and a bunch on interests.
Tinder looks at the interests from exp than friends, but if your mutual match has a 1st degree connect before you swipe him/her you get an icon warning..........I don't want to date quite that close to "home" either.
Hinge is better because it used X degrees of separation and it is catching on fast. I don't even have many FB friends ( under 100 only real connections), and got a few dozen matches already in less than a week. Once again your posts fly in the face of reality.
LOL, dude, again with this?
Again. It's YOUR reality. Just like it's YOUR reality dating isn't a numbers game.
I also find it interesting you were able to get so many matches with such a low number of connections.
I live in Houston and have close to 1,000 FB friends and would get no more than 10-12 girls in a queue, let alone a few dozen matches in less than a week.
So, if anyone's posts fly in the face of reality...
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ATG5
LOL, dude, again with this?
Again. It's YOUR reality. Just like it's YOUR reality dating isn't a numbers game.
I also find it interesting you were able to get so many matches with such a low number of connections.
I live in Houston and have close to 1,000 FB friends and would get no more than 10-12 girls in a queue, let alone a few dozen matches in less than a week.
So, if anyone's posts fly in the face of reality...
I only get 6-10 at a time, but it refreshes once to twice a day or so. Then swipe the ones that are cute, and not connected to one particular FB friend (personal choice). Though admittedly, most aren't a good match. I put on filters for age, but after I connect I generally notice the women are too young, often 30-34. No thank you!
And of course dating isn't a numbers game, since most people are looking for 1 individual, maybe a couple of more. And you're far more likely to find that one by paring down the pool your looking in, than by searching through a sea of them. Are you likely to find the grain of sand you're looking for in a teaspoon of the stuff, or a bucket of it? Use the profile/filters/criteria to make it a teaspoon, and go from there. It's the same as searching for a job.
I only get 6-10 at a time, but it refreshes once to twice a day or so. Then swipe the ones that are cute, and not connected to one particular FB friend (personal choice). Though admittedly, most aren't a good match. I put on filters for age, but after I connect I generally notice the women are too young, often 30-34. No thank you!
And of course dating isn't a numbers game, since most people are looking for 1 individual, maybe a couple of more. And you're far more likely to find that one by paring down the pool your looking in, than by searching through a sea of them. Are you likely to find the grain of sand you're looking for in a teaspoon of the stuff, or a bucket of it? Use the profile/filters/criteria to make it a teaspoon, and go from there. It's the same as searching for a job.
I think you are misunderstanding what we are saying by "numbers game". It doesn't automatically mean you try to meet as many women as you can and hope something sticks. It just means you give yourself options, so if one is an habitual flaker, gets back with an ex, etc, it's (literally) on to the next. I have friends who talk to one woman only, get excited about that one woman initially, then that one woman goes dark, and they end up disappointed and frustrated.
Whether I'm looking for "the one' or a starting 5, plus 6th man, I'm more than likely not going to find it unless I'm using multiple sources to find (co-rec leagues, Tinder, pool parties, Jujitsu class ) and meet quality women. And if I'm doing activities like flag football or something fitness related, I'm already dwindling down the proverbial bucket to a teaspoon.
Tinder has enough filters and preferences for a good starting point, and it takes me a few seconds to decide on the rest. Age range and location, then their bio helps, even if I'm attracted to her (pics). If she mentions being a huge country music fan in her bio and has a picture wearing cowboy boots and hat at some Luke Bryan concert, then I'm swiping "left", because our personalities probably won't gel.
I don't take the shotgun approach some guys do, and swipe "right" on everyone. For every 10 girls I come across, I'll swipe "right" to maybe 2 or 3. It just so happens that even with the narrowed down methods I use still result in a high number of prospects.
If you're using Hinge, then your methods are really no different than mine, seeing as Tinder isn't that much different.
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
41,938 posts, read 36,920,441 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ATG5
I think you are misunderstanding what we are saying by "numbers game". It doesn't automatically mean you try to meet as many women as you can and hope something sticks. It just means you give yourself options, so if one is an habitual flaker, gets back with an ex, etc., it's (literally) on to the next.
Whether I'm looking for "the one' or a starting 5, plus 6th man, I'm more than likely not going to find it unless I'm using multiple sources to find (co-rec leagues, Tinder, pool parties, Jujitsu class ) and meet quality women. And if I'm doing activities like flag football or something fitness related, I'm already dwindling down the proverbial bucket to a teaspoon.
Tinder has enough filters and preferences for a good starting point, and it takes me a few seconds to decide on the rest. Age range and location, then their bio helps, even if I'm attracted to her (pics). If she mentions being a huge country music fan in her bio and has a picture wearing cowboy boots and hat at some Luke Bryan concert, then I'm swiping "left", because our personalities probably won't gel.
I don't take the shotgun approach some guys do, and swipe "right" on everyone. For every 10 girls I come across, I'll swipe "right" to maybe 2 or 3. It just so happens that even with the narrowed down methods I use still result in a high number of prospects.
If you're using Hinge, then your methods are really no different than mine, seeing as Tinder isn't that much different.
Most people use it this way. But while I agree with what you're saying, it wouldn't, personally, work for me. I don't really want my life to evolve around finding a mate. So, 1-2 avenues at most at a time is more than enough. I also don't want to think about people and connections as instantly disposable and just go "next up".
And you are right on Hinge. Which is why I'm going to delete the app. My friends encouraged me to try it because of the social connection, but I've found they're probably 2-3 degrees of separation, so it isn't really helpful. Too bad. Conceptually it has promise, but there just isn't enough info to really even make me want to write anyone. I have no reason to write them based on what I see on Hinge or saw on Tinder. OKC's matching algorithm for heavy users is fantastic, and having hundreds of questions to read is so very helpful. Much preferred.
Not to mention, a man with options is a hot commodity. A man with none, is a loser and much much less likely to find a willing date. Also, why in the world would you limit yourself to only talking to women who are matched for you by some websites. It would be like a hunter 1000s of years ago, sitting in front of his cave or a hut, opting to only hunt animals that walk in front of his doorway. That is very passive and feminine and a major turn off to women. Guys, don't be afraid of your masculinity. Understand it and appreciate it. Its ok to be aggressive, know exactly what you want and know how to get it. Women will love you for it, believe me. They wont love you however, for being a feminine little fairy.
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
41,938 posts, read 36,920,441 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ascension2012
Not to mention, a man with options is a hot commodity. A man with none, is a loser and much much less likely to find a willing date. Also, why in the world would you limit yourself to only talking to women who are matched for you by some websites. It would be like a hunter 1000s of years ago, sitting in front of his cave or a hut, opting to only hunt animals that walk in front of his doorway. That is very passive and feminine and a major turn off to women. Guys, don't be afraid of your masculinity. Understand it and appreciate it. Its ok to be aggressive, know exactly what you want and know how to get it. Women will love you for it, believe me. They wont love you however, for being a feminine little fairy.
Who said I do that? Last two people I dated I met in real life (bar and bus stop).
That said, I don't date people from work, or people that are friends of friends, or family. So it is limiting, since most of my activities are solo or male dominated. And I'm not going to pick up some hobby I don't care about to meet a chick. I'll just stick with my FWBs before I resort to that nonsense.
That said, your comparison is off base. It isn't akin to a hunter gatherer sitting in front of a cave and hunting what came by. It would be more similar to one that created a fish weir, or used guiding sticks/stones, to herd their targeted prey to them. They hunted smarter and more efficiently, instead of just going out and trying to stalk their prey in the open. Which one of these two methods led to more success and the creation of larger communities? It wasn't the latter. Do people have some success, on occasion, going out on the prowl? Sure. I guess. I'd rather be efficient and increase the odds of success, and when I go out on the town, just do so to have a good time.
Guys, don't be afraid of your masculinity. Understand it and appreciate it. Its ok to be aggressive, know exactly what you want and know how to get it. Women will love you for it, believe me. They wont love you however, for being a feminine little fairy.
Ah, the old "club her over the head and drag her into your cave" routine.
Ah, the old "club her over the head and drag her into your cave" routine.
Wimmens dig that.
Being masculine doesnt mean being a cavemen. I know youve been taught about how masculinity is toxic, tpur whole life, but let me assure you, it isnt. Not only that, feminine women cant get enough of it. And pretty much all women prefer masculine men, over feminized wussies. Hope this helps.
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
41,938 posts, read 36,920,441 times
Reputation: 40635
Masculinity isn't a one size fits all thing, any more than femininity is. It looks like different things to different people.
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