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Because marriage has become a joke in this country. You have women who are more interested in a ring and the wedding ceremony than the relationship itself.
The mentality of the average young woman out there these days is scary- the sense of entitlement of this generation of 20-somethings is appalling.
Also, we live in a society full of dysfunctional people, I mean, read some of the stuff that is posted here. No wonder, marriages don't work anymore.
You do understand that the divorce rate has been trending downward for the last 20 years, right?
Several very bad laws caused this
No fault was not what it appeared to be it was not no fault divorce it was a no defense divorce
those who benefited from it that said it was just -they filed by the millions a cash and asset bonanza for unhappy women and lawyers--- mostly women filed
An important tandem law that affected marriage was the anti discrimination credit act also misnamed changed divorce law and the basis of marriage
Anti discrimination credit law meant another human being could assign you debt without your consent
Marriage became bek of these lawsa legal contract that strips you of many constitutional rights
Men were slow to catch on but 50 million plus divorces later
They have
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ms.Mathlete
Times have changed; society has evolved to the point where getting out of a bad marriage it is no longer seen as moral failure, and fewer people are financially-dependent on staying in a bad marriage.
Times have changed and then came no fault divorce law (1970) which brought out the worst in the
court system and it's litigants. Just saw a documentary about divorce "Divorce Corp."
It has become a big business.
Why do you think the divorce rate has increased co much for the past 50 years and do you think it will go down? Does divorce adversely affect people growing up? Do you think it is normal for both parents to be working full time? Just wondering what the point of getting married is anymore
It hasn't. It went up in the 70s and 80s and has been steadily decreasing since then. You need to do some research.
The point of getting married, Know Nonsense, is love.
When you meet someone whom you cannot imagine living without then marriage is a great idea.
I'm frankly disturbed by the lack of interest in having a family, as in a spouse and children, that's been displayed in many threads lately. Whatever happened to LOVE? Not only romantic love, but love for one's children, and theirs for their parents?
Divorce may or may not be on the increase, but apathy most certainly is.
Those who are cynical about marriage (and I'm not necessarily in that number, though on occasion I'm sympathetic to that crowd) would opine that it isn't the broken or the abusive marriages that comprise the divorce-statistics, but rather the marriages which are basically OK, but where one of the partners decides that there are better opportunities elsewhere.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mahrie
The point of getting married, Know Nonsense, is love.
When you meet someone whom you cannot imagine living without then marriage is a great idea.
Love is neither necessary nor sufficient for marriage. Two people can merge their lives emotionally and intimately without marriage; or they might be married, but have undergone no such merger.
The purpose of marriage is to enter into a formal agreement for pooling and management of property, and for gaining various legal protections. Marriage remains relevant so long as our tax code, our legal system and our medical system treats a married couple as a special entity, with rights and privileges unavailable to those in informal relationships.
Quote:
Originally Posted by TabulaRasa
I think "back in the day, we WORKED on relationships" is often a euphemism for "leaving was out of the question as it was socially unacceptable."
This is true, but it's also true that "back in the day" there was more pressure to persevere, and less opportunity to make a wholesale revision.
I am reminded of the current Syrian refugee crisis in Europe. These refugees are fleeing an horrific environment, seeking a better life. But their counterparts are remaining in Syria, digging in and if necessary fighting to the death. It should be quite plain which of the groups I admire more.
I also think that "back in the day", people expected less out of life. They didn't place as much emphasis on joy or self-actualization. Life was basically the doing of one's duty, of persevering.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ruth4Truth
There's still pressure from friends and/or relatives to work things out rather than give up. It may be legally easier to give up, but psychologically for a lot of people, and also within the microcosm of the family/in-laws and friends, societally it's not all that easy. ...
This one is difficult to discern. By way of personal example, my former mother-in-law heavily pressured my former wife to remain married to me, because she liked the protective role that I played as husband. My former father-in-law was lukewarm, but leaning in the direction of divorce. Meanwhile, a more distant branch of my ex's family was adamant about the advantages of divorce. One of the women in that branch of the family had a very successful divorce, finding a new man and a better life.
I'm frankly disturbed by the lack of interest in having a family, as in a spouse and children, that's been displayed in many threads lately. Whatever happened to LOVE? Not only romantic love, but love for one's children, and theirs for their parents?
Life has become too complicated and economically uncertain to raise a family. It is challenging enough to care for oneself.
Life has become too complicated and economically uncertain to raise a family. It is challenging enough to care for oneself.
When wasn't life complicated and economically uncertain, Dan? Yet we all had kids, and our kids are having kids.... DH and I have 5 grandchildren ranging in age from 20 weeks to 11 years old, and not one of them has missed a meal yet! I remember when my kids were small and we didn't have much in the way of money, sometimes I'd wonder how we would manage but we always did - thanks be to God!
Do you honestly think there was a time in history when most people didn't have to struggle to make a living?
50% chance of divorce is not the same as a 50% chance of a flip of the coin. The coin toss is random, you CHOOSE who to marry.
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50% chance of divorce is not the same as a 50% chance of a flip of the coin. The coin toss is random, you CHOOSE who to marry.
The whole bit about 50% or 30% or whatever is a red-herring. We're ceaselessly caught up in debating whether the plurality or only some small fraction of marriages fail. But this debate is without hope of perspicuous resolution.
Rather, the more important point is whether or not we agree with Mikala, in that making a good choice of partner gives very strong implication that the marriage will persist and indeed thrive, whereas choosing poorly means high risk and likely disappointment.
Isn't this obvious?
No.
I assert that even if two people are already mature and self-aware and quite sensible in whom they choose, it may nevertheless be true and outright common for their relationship to fail DESPITE making a good choice. I also think that a stupid choice of partner, on impulse or without reliable information, may nevertheless have a successful outcome.
How can this be? Isn't this patently illogical?
No. Why? Because it is human nature to always wonder, "What if", to always be angling for better options. I might be a good choice and a good husband, but if a better option comes across, why wouldn't my wife avail herself of that option? On the other hand, I might be a fool or a miscreant, but if by law or societal-norm she's stuck with me, she (and I) are likely to make the best of a bad situation.
It's the plethora of options that make relationships unstable, and not the making of an initial poor choice.
I don't think that all marriages that are well considered by mature adults to be fail proof.
I DO think that finding a life partner is exceedingly difficult. People change, there are all kinds of random things that can occur in life..... It's hard.
But I don't view a marriage as something that has a 50% chance of failure like it is something that happens TO you, in which you have no control.
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