Scared, lonely, and sad (Christian, boyfriend, man, husband)

[beckycat]

I've been with my husband for 19 years. We've been through it all. Most of the time we are content. He says that he is very upset that we moved our family (both of us and 2 kids) 1200 miles away from the rest of the family. It was a choice we both made and I think it was for the better. On the other hand, he thinks you need to be by family, and it was a bad choice. He looks for every bad aspect of moving here. He struggles with drinking. It happens once a week that he goes out. It upsets me very much! Anyhow, he is worried about our daughter who is 17. He is worried b/c she's hanging around the wrong crowd. Last week, she was punched in the face by a black man and her Ipod was stollen. (No, I'm not predijice) It upset him very much. I don't want to go to much into the story. Anyhow, he was drinking and confronted the man. Now he ended up in jail and they slammed him with charges. He may end up doing alot of years in jail. Mind you, he's never gotten in trouble for this before. Anyhow, I know this is probably for the better to get the help he needs for drinking. I just can't see 5 years or more. I'm worried about my son who is 13 b/c they are close. He is just wanting to stay in his room and isolate himself. I tried to talk to him, but he says he's fine. I'm trying to keep myself together. I keep cring and I feel scared, lonely and sad. Can anyone help?

[Madreof3]

Beckycat I am so sorry for you, I think you need to talk to someone maybe a clergy member. Stay strong your kids really need you now, my prayers are with you.

T

[goldenmom7500]

I would do as much as you can to get him good legal representation. But at the same time it sounds like he has some major problems he needs to work through. If there is any plea deal made, it should incorporate the idea of counseling, AA, whatever.

I think your son will be OK. Right now, he needs the time to process what is happening.

Take good care of yourself. Maybe there is a family member who can fly over and be with you?

[Rance]

Why isn't the thief in jail? Didn't you go to the cops and press charges for robbery and assault?

[miu]

Your husband needs to quit drinking altogether. Maybe the court can order treatment and require him to go to AA meetings as part of his sentence. If it's the first time that he's been arrested for assaulting someone, then his sentence could be light. Does he have a lawyer yet? If so, talk to him about working treatment for his drinking problem into the sentencing. Good luck!

[ESFP]

Sounds like life has become off-balanced. Not to preach Mahayana Buddhism or anything, but you should really investigate Zen practices. I'm a Christian, but explore all resources to keep my life in check. People find peace in prisons, war torn countries, and any other undesirable situation. When circumstances seem to be wrong, it's because balance is off. As a family, take a vacation, visit a new church, learn pottery, visit a library and everybody pick one book, then discuss it together (TV off, phone off). Once you find inner peace, it will spread to anyone around you. Get your priorities straight.

[beckycat]

My daughter won't tell me much about what happened. It came from her boyfriend. She claims it was an accident when hit her. I don't know why she doesn't want to say anything. Thanks for the help!

[Lillietta]

It's time for family counseling. I do have hope since it sounds like a circumstantial problem vs. a chronic behavioral/emotional problem. But get a GOOD counselor.

[Rance]

So your daughters boyfriend punched her and took her ipod? I'd be in jail too! And he'd be in the hospital.

[beckycat]

It wasn't her boyfriend. Her boyfriend witnessed it.