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Monogamy isn't for everyone. I've seen studies that say anywhere from 20%-50% of people are not naturally monogamous. The problem is until recently there's been societal pressure to engage solely in monogamous relationships. When people who are not naturally monogamous try and fit their round peg into the square hole of monogamy, it just does't fit right and they eventually seek what they need to be fulfilled. The more people realize this the happier we all will be on average.
I think societal pressure is a good thing. The removal of societal pressure has led to the destruction of the family unit and pretty much all values in our society. There's a reason why America was so successful in the past and why it's in such a free fall right now.
I think societal pressure is a good thing. The removal of societal pressure has led to the destruction of the family unit and pretty much all values in our society. There's a reason why America was so successful in the past and why it's in such a free fall right now.
Societal pressure... aka shame.
That's part of the problem there isn't any shame anymore and I'm really sick and tired of people saying "don't judge".... *********, you treat people like used napkins I'm gonna judge you.... I have a real problem with certain people that self identify as "liberal" they tend to be people that just do whatever the F they want under the cover of the label of being a liberated and liberal person.... completely hijacked the meaning and proper use of the term liberal....it's somehow now morphed into some kind of self absorbed me me type of thing.....
The problem is is that when people stop judging we seem to slip into this free for all where people just do whatever the hell pleases them and consequences and how it affects others be damned... I suppose that the crux of it, people can do whatever they like until it starts affecting other peoples lives... that's my hot button....
That's part of the problem there isn't any shame anymore and I'm really sick and tired of people saying "don't judge".... *********, you treat people like used napkins I'm gonna judge you.... I have a real problem with certain people that self identify as "liberal" they tend to be people that just do whatever the F they want under the cover of the label of being a liberated and liberal person.... completely hijacked the meaning and proper use of the term liberal....it's somehow now morphed into some kind of self absorbed me me type of thing.....
The problem is is that when people stop judging we seem to slip into this free for all where people just do whatever the hell pleases them and consequences and how it affects others be damned... I suppose that the crux of it, people can do whatever they like until it starts affecting other peoples lives... that's my hot button....
The Ashley Madison hack exposed the data of some 37 million customers. 37 million is a staggering number! I just can't fathom how there can be so many cheaters in the world.
Here are more details on the Ashley Madison breach:
That's part of the problem there isn't any shame anymore and I'm really sick and tired of people saying "don't judge".... *********, you treat people like used napkins I'm gonna judge you.... I have a real problem with certain people that self identify as "liberal" they tend to be people that just do whatever the F they want under the cover of the label of being a liberated and liberal person.... completely hijacked the meaning and proper use of the term liberal....it's somehow now morphed into some kind of self absorbed me me type of thing.....
The problem is is that when people stop judging we seem to slip into this free for all where people just do whatever the hell pleases them and consequences and how it affects others be damned... I suppose that the crux of it, people can do whatever they like until it starts affecting other peoples lives... that's my hot button....
Great post. Totally agree with you, and I'm ...a liberal.
I have not met a liberal person nor seen any material that claims liberals supporting the acceptance of infedelty or adultry.
There was a time when a husband was shamed for not keeping control over their wife.... even if that meant slapping her around.
If anything I think society places less shame on those that seek divorce and single mothers who chose to remove themselves from such situations is a good thing.
Affairs have existed since the time of marriage... I am not convinced that it occurs any more or less today than decades ago. It was shameful then and now.
I don't see how being accepting of the faCT that we areally a society of many different perceptions and views from which we should keep an open mind leads to the erosion of values.
1. Because most people don't have the courage to leave a marriage that doesn't work for them from a romantic/erotic standpoint, yet they decide to suck it up, their excuses being children, property together, etc.
2. An idea expressed by Esther Perel (I am starting to think it's a valid idea): nobody is perfect and you cannot have everything you need from the same person. You start a relationship with somebody because of certain gains you get from it (stability, companionship, the hope for regular sex, friendship, not coming home to an empty bed, etc), and unconsciously compromise about the things that person doesn't have (maybe they don't fill your need for adventure, or sex is so-so, or your interests are not really compatible). Eventually though whatever you've been missing keeps bothering you and you think life's too short to live it without those things, so you connect to another person who can provide those specific needs.
After a lot of reflection, I wonder if it is ever realistic to get all your needs met by just one human. Can one person be compatible with you at all levels? friendship, affection, passion, economic stability, adventure, awesome sex, intellectual stimulation, etc ? My guess is that most people find someone they connect with at least at SOME level, and then they are afraid to loose that and to spend the rest of their life alone. So then they announce it loud and clear that they that they found perfection and are in love (as an explanation why they are getting married); they go ahead and get married, sooner or later realizing that life goes by and they are missing out on other things. That's perhaps why lifelong monogamy feels a little unnatural.
Great post. Totally agree with you, and I'm ...a liberal.
LOL, good liberalism has been hijacked and I say this more of a moderate mid center guy......... things morph and when they do, they don't always morph in the direction we want....
I've said this before, people cheat because they sometimes want new booty and want to keep the old booty.... that's why people cheat.
Why "so many cheat"..... probably the same answer would apply.
I've never cheated on any woman I was committed too, I don't say this to earn brownie points, cause as Chris Rock says "You ain't supposed to go to jail." if anyone knows that bit, you'll know what I mean.
I've been lucky, I've been able to show enough restraint and self control and haven't succumbed to temptation and I say I'm lucky because you never know and that's the attitude you should have you should be diligent... all it takes is a little crack or so in the will and an opportunity to present itself.
Bottom line, don't allow opportunities to present themselves.
I worked as a field engineer and that put in contact with a variety of people, women being some of them. I had a coworker once time pick up a girl at a college campus we were working at.
He went off with her for a "late lunch" and when he came back I asked him where he was, he casually explained to me that he met some woman on campus and wound up going to a hotel room with her.
I asked him, "Aren't you married??"
He answered back "Yeah, but she doesn't need to know."
Sort of makes ya wonder about the "sanctity of marriage" when people can be so flippant about it...... I know that's a gross generalization, but the thought still lingers in my mind.
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