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Old 08-22-2015, 09:48 PM
 
Location: Brentwood, Tennessee
49,932 posts, read 59,754,614 times
Reputation: 98359

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Quote:
Originally Posted by Tune_It_Lower View Post

And what's my office got to do with anything? People meet people other places besides work.
Not you, not so far.

You claim that your work schedule is keeping you from participating in other activities in which you could interact personally with women your age. So logic would dictate that, unless you fall for a co-worker, you're screwed.

Of course, there's always the weekend. People do stuff on the weekends.
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Old 08-23-2015, 04:28 AM
 
Location: Ames, Iowa
361 posts, read 332,612 times
Reputation: 363
The problem is YOU. Trust me, you sound like me five years ago. You can''t rely on flirtatious behavior to approach a woman. It definitely helps when a woman gives you a green light but the beauty is to approach ANY woman and see where she stands, you would be surprised what YOU can do with the proper skills and knowing what to say and how to relate to women, I would say 90% is psychology and it is all about YOU, not them.

So, if you want to change things, you will have to invest in yourself, looking good and dressing nice is a must but it is really all about feeling good in your skin and start approaching women in places most men would not have the guts to do. Trust me, I am a work in progress, but once I started approaching women, it literally changed my whole perspective on women and dating, most of it has very little to do with logic and common sense.

You start by saying hi to women you find attractive, then from there, you build up to conversation and eventually you will be talking to any woman you find attractive. Once you get over the fear of rejection, the world is yours. Is it easy? Hell no but it is one of the best exercises any man can do, it will literally change your life.
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Old 08-23-2015, 05:47 AM
 
Location: a primitive state
11,380 posts, read 24,385,676 times
Reputation: 17418
Join a few professional organizations?

When I was single and trying to get away from artsy barflies, i started joining groups related to my industry (and limited my night life to special events.)

Ideally, you need to get to know people over a period of time and only socialize with groups who have common goals and values. You can also add a service organization and a outdoor activity group that meets regularly. Women join dance, cycling, yoga, literary, hiking, and kayaking groups, etc. in droves. Just be sure you're not a fake and you'll start meeting more suitable women.

Last edited by ellie; 08-23-2015 at 06:01 AM..
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Old 08-23-2015, 05:59 AM
 
Location: The Hall of Justice
25,901 posts, read 42,622,264 times
Reputation: 42767
Music seems to be a good way to meet people. This might sound goofy, but I joined a drum circle and there are tons of people there, mostly in their 30s, I'd say.
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Old 08-23-2015, 06:01 AM
 
8,170 posts, read 6,018,431 times
Reputation: 5963
Quote:
Originally Posted by Tune_It_Lower View Post

3.) I actually want a long term relationship, one where we travel (and I don't foot the whole bill for two people), take weekends for stuff, hang out with my significant other after we both get off work at 6:00-7:00-ish,etc. I don't blame early 20's women for being directionless and scattered... but it just doesn't work for me where I am in life.

4.)
If I'm hot to 23 year olds, could I at least be hot to the occasional 27 year old, 33 year old, 36 year old, etc. every once in a while? I guess that's rhetori.
I am 36 and looking for similar things in a mate. Hang in there, I am sure the perfect woman for you is out there.
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Old 08-23-2015, 06:10 AM
 
Location: Sunny Florida
7,136 posts, read 12,650,185 times
Reputation: 9547
Have you considered online dating? You could sift through the profiles at your leisure and contact the women you find interesting/acceptable. I know quite a few people who have met their spouses this way after a lot of initial skepticism. It seems to be one of the more successful resources available to busy people who aren't meeting the types of people they have an interest in dating. I hope this helps.
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Old 08-23-2015, 06:39 AM
 
Location: SacTown
1,259 posts, read 1,247,796 times
Reputation: 1965
If hot young college women are hitting on you and asking you out you shouldn't have any problems dating online.
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Old 08-23-2015, 08:57 AM
 
1,178 posts, read 1,356,403 times
Reputation: 2228
Are you waiting for them to come to you?
Really, I don't see where you have a problem. Lots of guys would like to have girls that young flirt/hit on them. I was with some of them who did. I was too old and not attractive enough for them. I have dated and was married to men which did. They were in their 30's-50's.
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Old 08-24-2015, 03:36 AM
 
474 posts, read 383,760 times
Reputation: 385
Quote:
Originally Posted by Wmsn4Life View Post
Not you, not so far. You claim that your work schedule is keeping you from participating in other activities in which you could interact personally with women your age. So logic would dictate that, unless you fall for a co-worker, you're screwed.

Of course, there's always the weekend. People do stuff on the weekends.
I never said either thing. I'd really recommend reading what I wrote. Again, I don't care what women my age do or don't do, I just don't get why it's only women in their early twenties that think I'm compelling enough to make eyes at, flirt with, or whatever. There's a lot of middle ground in there.

My last girlfriend was 23. She was fun, we got along well, sex was good, etc., etc., but she hadn't decided on a career direction, started college, and was bouncing around retail with crappy hours. We couldn't take weekends to do things, a lot of nights were no-goes, and forget week long vacations abroad. If she was independently wealthy, we probably wouldn't be having this conversation. Again, it's more about lifestyle compatibility than age specifically, it almost always comes with the territory with women that young.

Furthermore, my hours don't really interfere with doing things I want to do. Concerts don't generally get underway until 8:00 or 9:00 PM and that's if you care to see the earliest act. Culture-type art events are First Fridays here which puts them on a Friday night. Unless I'm traveling, it's not a tough thing to make. The hip coffee shops and bars are the strongest on Friday, Saturday, and Sundays. Meetups, on the other hand, the organizers seem hell-bent on kicking off at 4:00 or 5:00 PM. I'm lucky if I can get out of work by 6:00 PM, then add the drive in traffic (Phoenix is a sprawl) to wherever it's going on (usually not North Scottsdale). Everyone operates like senior citizens around here.






Quote:
Originally Posted by ellie View Post
Join a few professional organizations?
When I was single and trying to get away from artsy barflies, i started joining groups related to my industry (and limited my night life to special events.)
I like the artsy part... just not the barfly part. It unfortunately seems that our culture is divvied up around here by drinking establishments. It's the nature of the beast. I'd love to meet a non-smoker too, but yeah that's unicorn hunting.

Professional orgs are a fantastic idea. Unfortunately, I've got two options based on my trade and my industry, and neither have a support structure. I'm an industrial designer by trade (a.k.a. product designer), and the IDSA doesn't support/host events here anymore. The city isn't known for the profession (despite ASU having a well regarded ID program), and the organizers gave up due to constant low turnouts. There are no Meetup groups to support the profession either. There's also the issue with the profession being very male heavy, but that's here-nor-there. As for my industry, while I can't get into too many details for professional reasons, I'll just say it's a very new industry and there are no support orgs for people employed within it.






Quote:
If hot young college women are hitting on you and asking you out you shouldn't have any problems dating online.
You'd think, but yeah, not at all.






Quote:
Are you waiting for them to come to you?
However-whatever-whichway. I like to meet people organically. If someone gives "the look", I'll walk over and say "Hi". If there's something I see as an opener: A shirt, tattoo, whatever... same. Sometimes women will chat me up. The beard has a weird magnetic power I don't quite understand... LOL. Other times it's just meeting people through people... randos talking to randos. Talking in groups, then splitting off. Proximity, whathaveyou. I dunno. I don't think too hard about it, nor do I douche around and "pick up" on women with canned bulls__t. Women make it obvious when they're into you.

Last edited by Tune_It_Lower; 08-24-2015 at 03:45 AM..
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Old 08-24-2015, 06:49 AM
 
291 posts, read 273,205 times
Reputation: 265
Quote:
Originally Posted by Tune_It_Lower View Post
I never said either thing. I'd really recommend reading what I wrote. Again, I don't care what women my age do or don't do, I just don't get why it's only women in their early twenties that think I'm compelling enough to make eyes at, flirt with, or whatever. There's a lot of middle ground in there.

My last girlfriend was 23. She was fun, we got along well, sex was good, etc., etc., but she hadn't decided on a career direction, started college, and was bouncing around retail with crappy hours. We couldn't take weekends to do things, a lot of nights were no-goes, and forget week long vacations abroad. If she was independently wealthy, we probably wouldn't be having this conversation. Again, it's more about lifestyle compatibility than age specifically, it almost always comes with the territory with women that young.

Furthermore, my hours don't really interfere with doing things I want to do. Concerts don't generally get underway until 8:00 or 9:00 PM and that's if you care to see the earliest act. Culture-type art events are First Fridays here which puts them on a Friday night. Unless I'm traveling, it's not a tough thing to make. The hip coffee shops and bars are the strongest on Friday, Saturday, and Sundays. Meetups, on the other hand, the organizers seem hell-bent on kicking off at 4:00 or 5:00 PM. I'm lucky if I can get out of work by 6:00 PM, then add the drive in traffic (Phoenix is a sprawl) to wherever it's going on (usually not North Scottsdale). Everyone operates like senior citizens around here.








I like the artsy part... just not the barfly part. It unfortunately seems that our culture is divvied up around here by drinking establishments. It's the nature of the beast. I'd love to meet a non-smoker too, but yeah that's unicorn hunting.

Professional orgs are a fantastic idea. Unfortunately, I've got two options based on my trade and my industry, and neither have a support structure. I'm an industrial designer by trade (a.k.a. product designer), and the IDSA doesn't support/host events here anymore. The city isn't known for the profession (despite ASU having a well regarded ID program), and the organizers gave up due to constant low turnouts. There are no Meetup groups to support the profession either. There's also the issue with the profession being very male heavy, but that's here-nor-there. As for my industry, while I can't get into too many details for professional reasons, I'll just say it's a very new industry and there are no support orgs for people employed within it.






You'd think, but yeah, not at all.






However-whatever-whichway. I like to meet people organically. If someone gives "the look", I'll walk over and say "Hi". If there's something I see as an opener: A shirt, tattoo, whatever... same. Sometimes women will chat me up. The beard has a weird magnetic power I don't quite understand... LOL. Other times it's just meeting people through people... randos talking to randos. Talking in groups, then splitting off. Proximity, whathaveyou. I dunno. I don't think too hard about it, nor do I douche around and "pick up" on women with canned bulls__t. Women make it obvious when they're into you.

I'm a little bit younger than you, so not quite the same situation, but I'll definitely second the notion that late-twenties/early-thirties available women are few and far between. I ended up moving out of the country and I don't have any answers for ya, but at least know I know where you're coming from.
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