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I didn't start dating until last summer and since then 2. I've never put out sex in any form until both of the guys wanted to by my boyfriend, it was pretty simple. They both wanted relationships and I had a connection with them. It all flowed really naturally.
It was really easy to pick this one out from the rest, even if he wasn't honest with me. I could just tell in his level of communication and the way he acted around me. He was actually swiping matches on tinder when we were hanging out one time. Again, I don't take it personally because I knew what his deal was from the start.
And I don't think it makes me a mean or evil person for not sleeping with him. We enjoyed our company while we were together and that was that.
You don't know who this person is and this is an anonymous forum. Unless I'm putting his full name and photo on here, I don't see what the deal is.
Basically the person you are describing is someone who share's his body with people he has no attachment to...So it's kind of obvious.."Sow the Wild Oats" until you find the right one ( Crap Shoot)..BUT when someone does that..It's really hard to weed out the Wheat from the Caffe..Which doesn't usually end well..depending on the partner.. Friends with benefits and so on.. BUT some hidden gen could be devastated thinking it meant something..ALL for not!!
My, so long ago motto was..(long before that level ever got there was) "Would I want this person to be ( in my case) the father of my children?".. Yikes, that sure straightening my head out beyond just a physical attractions mode of the moment!!
I know there are many who take advantage of their situation..But truly..If you do not know them or care about them..WHY?....I suspect it's a self Gratification mode..no OTHER rational about it!! IMO
This is an unusual and, frankly, antiquated way of putting it. And I'm saying that as a 47-year-old.
I don't think you're evil for not wanting to sleep with every guy you meet. I just think that your attitude about sex could be an issue.
Okay I understand. I didn't mean to be so old fashioned about it. I'm just saying for me personally I'd rather save sex for a boyfriend or someone who wants to commit to me on a more emotional level. That's all.
Okay I understand. I didn't mean to be so old fashioned about it. I'm just saying for me personally I'd rather save sex for a boyfriend or someone who wants to commit to me on a more emotional level. That's all.
And there's nothing wrong with that. You can be old-fashioned.
But what you need to realize, and what feels antiquated about the way you write about sex, is that it's not supposed to be something you hold over a guy, as bait, or use like a weapon to ward him off.
I mean, what the heck kind of date is it going to be when, the first time you meet someone, you blurt out, "Just so you know, we will not be having sex."
That is not how you do it. Have standards, yes, but don't be so dictatorial about it.
Again, not sure what game I'm playing except staying true to myself and my self respect.
No one is taking issue with you respecting yourself. He is mature enough to be upfront with what he wanted, I don't think you are mature enough to understand your own motivations.
You were bored and playing games. /shrug
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Okay I understand. I didn't mean to be so old fashioned about it. I'm just saying for me personally I'd rather save sex for a boyfriend or someone who wants to commit to me on a more emotional level. That's all.
This is beautiful.. Please don't change!!! I can only wish I'd set this standard for myself @ your age.. As others have said, this guy 'Rick' was being totally open & honest. Ya gotta respect that, because he was giving you a clear choice in the matter. I think it's fine to get out there and 'date', even if it's just to gauge where your heart + head is at. Just be honest about where you're @ & what you want- and stick to it. As long as nobody's mislead or hurt in the process then no harm, no foul.
There's nothing wrong with anting ANY kind of relationship whether it be casual sex, husband and wife, pen pals or Dominant and submissive as long as all parties are upfront and honest about what they want. Maturity does't lie in what a person wants but in their ability to honestly communicate that to potential partners. There are tons of men who only want casual flings well in to their sixties. As long as they're communicating that to potential partners then they are handling their sex lives like mature adults.
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