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I know my wife has no regrets having divorced her first husband. He was cheating on her with multiple women, draining her bank account, burning up her credit, and using her for "sponsorship" to remain in the US (he is a British national).
I would provide a caveat here. Her situation is really not similar to yours at all. So although it can be used to compile more "statistics," I would still caution you to not be making decisions about your particular situation based on "statistics." Especially when your fishing for, and seeking out self gratifying statistics.
Make the decision best for you and your situation. Not other peoples.
Have you attempted to speak to your husband yet? Or seek out a counselor?
I agree with Checkered24. Absolutely do not base you decisions on what you read here on CD or any sort of collected input from people. Take what you read here as valid and valuable input based on a collection of people's of life experiences.. However, always need to remember it is their experiences not yours.... make the best decision for yourself.
I'm going through difficult times myself and divorce does cross my mind. I'm hopeful that we are working things out. If I had taken the input here without any of my own thought about my specific family life, I would have divorced a month ago. I would most certainly end up regretting that decision.
If we do separate, I will do so knowing that I did everything in my power to save my family and marriage.
Have you attempted to speak to your husband yet? Or seek out a counselor?
I'm giving myself until the end of the month before I start another conversation with my husband, just to make sure that my unhappiness right now is not hormonal, since my threshold for sadness tends to be lower in certain times of the month. Although it probably wouldn't feel so bad if it wasn't real.
Already talked to my husband about four months ago when I was feeling similar. At that time divorce didn't cross my mind; my goal was to make it work. He said sex is not that important to him, and if I needed more he'd try, but that I should consider buying a ***** (I wanted to kill him when he said that). I asked him in a non-judgemental way if he met someone else - he denied it. Told him I liked when he dressed up and groomed and wore perfume before we got married- he said he's not into that anymore. After the conversation, he swore that he actually genuinely loves me; he brought me flowers two or three times; we had sex twice in a month and went on a vacation. Then- it was all back to how it is now- him spending most of the time playing video games; he forgot our anniversary; did not notice any of my new outfits that I was trying to impress him with; does not know when I am sad; does not ask me how my day went. He occasionally gives me a hug, or grab a boob when I sleep, but it's probably because HE needs some physical contact once in a while, and not because he is genuinely interested in me.
Not sure how men love. My guess is that his love is actually him getting used to having me around. He does not have many friends, so maybe he sees me as the closest person he has. If I left I think he'll be sad because he'd be lonely, not because he actually enjoyed MY company. I think he'd get back to feeling normal again if he got some other girl to provide him companionship.
Sorry to get into so much detail - just wanted to illustrate that I've tried already and it did not get better. Maybe my expectations are too high, maybe I should force myself to be happy because of what I have, not sad because of what I don't have. My concern is that if I talk to him again, the change will be short and transient and half a year from now we'll be here again, and then I'll be mad at myself for not taking action sooner.
For statistics purpose, how many of those who are divorced here actually regretted getting divorced after they did it?
I didn't but my ex-wife did as she asked several times if we could try again. I think that was after she realized that the guy she left me for did not have as much money as she thought and had even less intention of spending what he did have on her.
I didn't but my ex-wife did as she asked several times if we could try again. I think that was after she realized that the guy she left me for did not have as much money as she thought and had even less intention of spending what he did have on her.
My response was short and to the point.
maybe "no"?
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hmmmm...lemme guess..
