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We discussed that were gonna share expenses. I don't mind paying for the house because its my house but I expect him to pay for other expenses like food, groceries etc. I don't ask him about his money. I know he has student loans, a car loan and he gives his parents money every month. Sometimes I feel that theyre taking advantage of him. One day his sister who lives with his parents lost the house key. My husband ended up paying the cost to replace it.
We've known each other for a while then we started dating. We both wanted to start a family but we weren't expecting its gonna be this soon.
It costs a few dollars to replace a house key. What are you talking about?
You don't ask him about his money? He's supposed to share his finances with you, meaning: he should have told you all about that voluntarily before you married, and you two should be pooling your money. Or each keeping a discretionary fund, but pooling the rest. Are you ok with him buying "expensive stuff" for himself? Is he sharing expenses? What of the monthly expenses is he paying? Is he buying any of the baby furniture and supplies?
Are you both saving for vacations together? Or since he makes more, has he offered to pay for the joint vacation? Are you both contributing to a retirement fund? What about the child's college fund? Who covers maintenance and repairs on your home--are you saving for a new roof (every 15 years, approx.) and a new exterior paint job (every 10 years, approx., except for the south side--more frequently)? Is he contributing to maintenance/repairs?
Last edited by Ruth4Truth; 09-03-2015 at 01:48 PM..
It's not your house. It is yours and your husbands house, whether he would get half if you divorce..
OP, anything paid toward the mortgage after you married is half his, by law, if you divorce. The only part of your house that's "yours" is the part of the mortgage you paid before you married. It's your house in that your name is on the deed, but in divorce court, a significant part of it would go to him. But likewise, half of the "expensive stuff" he buys for himself would go to you.
Are you two aware of how community property laws in your state work, or what the relevant laws are?
Perhaps OP didn't want an Actual husband, she wanted a pool boy?
She's got one.
OP you treat your husband like a child. I actually feel sorry for HIM!
Well, the OP titled the thread, "Husband spends more on his parents and siblings than me", but she hasn't told us anything about what he's contributing to their monthly expenses, and what he's spending on her. I'm not sure if she means, he's not carrying his share of the monthly expenses, or if she means he's not buying her little gifts, treats, dinner, whatever. But she has yet to outline the rest of the relevant details of her thread topic.
We got married after dating for about a year. Now, were expecting our first baby. Im not a selfish girl and definitely Im not greedy.
After we got married, he moved in with me at my house. He doesn't pay anything since Ive been paying the mortgage and I can afford it, Ive never asked him to share payment with me. I have a sister who lives with me who pays our bills for electricity and water. He pays for food sometimes.
I try to understand him why he cant share much on our expenses because he gives his parents $500 a month to help them with their bills. The other day, his mom texted him asking to help his sister financially to get the A/C of her car fixed. He gave them money. They rely on him because they know he makes good money.
Before it wouldnt bother me if he helps them but now, were gonna have our own family and I need him to save money for us. How are you guys gonna react if you were in my situation?
I would sit him down and have a talk.
Actually, I would have done that when you decided he can move into YOUR house and figure out the expenses, bills, etc.
You either make a plan on who pays what or be like other married people and be ONE when it comes to finances.
The lady has her own home and the sister lives with her. She and sister pay the bills. He doesn't feel its his home so statusquo prevailed and he helps his family and let's these two continue to foot the bills. Why would he think differently? Did your husband want to get married or was marriage due to pregnancy? Doesn't sound like he's in it for the long haul. Very unhealthy start. Anyway you cut the pie you settled for the smallest piece.
Its not because of pregnancy why we got married. He proposed. He gave me a ring. I accepted. We got married.
The lady has her own home and the sister lives with her. She and sister pay the bills. He doesn't feel its his home so statusquo prevailed and he helps his family and let's these two continue to foot the bills. Why would he think differently?.
This is actually a good point. He may feel like he's a guest in her and her sister's home. The OP seems to want to maintain control over the home, and doesn't want to buy a home together with him, or rent their own place. I can see how it makes sense from her perspective, but from a "couples" or marriage perspective, it doesn't, quite.
In the U.S., generally it is post marital acquisitions/gains that are split 50/50. What you come in with, you leave with.
It isn't 50/50 across the board. It is 50/50 (with some flexibility) of what is gained AFTER marriage.
Bold part. This is not necessarily true. If you have an established mutual fund account, for example, and you add to it at least once while married, then it becomes community property because of mixing. Premarital funds mixed with marital funds equals marital funds in total.
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