Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
I don't need a leader in my life, I want one. Fact is, I'm fully capable of taking care of myself. I simply am most fulfilled when I am in a relationship where I can give final authority in decision-making over to someone else.
And that's fine, so long as it's what your partner truly wants as well. Me, I cannot imaging my husband having that level of authority over me, nor would he want to have it. Consequently, I also accept responsibility for owning the outcome.
It's not about authority in the slightest, not obeying nor anything else you are thinking.
And that's fine, so long as it's what your partner truly wants as well. Me, I cannot imaging my husband having that level of authority over me, nor would he want to have it. Consequently, I also accept responsibility for owning the outcome.
I know for a fact that "it's fine" with him as we have discussed it- you know, like two consenting adults having a relationship.
"Compete"? Why would anyone want to compete with their own partner? OP, if you see all relationships in terms of power dynamics, you're going to have a tough time finding and maintaining a happy relationship. You seem to be missing the crux of what it's all about.
It's not about authority in the slightest, not obeying nor anything else you are thinking.
The poster I quoted (you know, the same one you quoted in agreement )specifically referred to it as "final authority". It's not really authority if obedience is optional.
Last edited by Ginge McFantaPants; 09-08-2015 at 12:46 PM..
Not exactly. You said:
"It is not about domination, which is what "submit" implies. Wanting to have a strong man to lean on is Wanting to have a strong man to lean on is about wanting to feel safe...so when you make the woman feel completely and totally safe with you, when she knows your decisions are going to be the right ones and she can just relax and let you take care of the noises in the night and other dangers and know in her heart she'll be okay because you're taking care of it (and her) then she will relax into your leadership."
It's fine if that's what you want, but I wouldn't say it's universal. "Strong" leadership doesn't even enter into my criteria. And conceded, you did not use the word "big".
I let my partner pick the restaurant we went to on Sunday night. He's my leader, I guess? I'll have to let him know.
He's not your leader per se, but yes that was an example of leading. Those guys who say "IDK, where do YOU want to go?" are the opposite, and not in the slightest attractive to me.
Again though it does not mean I don't have input, if I don't like fish or don't feel like dressing up of course I will have input.
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
41,937 posts, read 36,957,550 times
Reputation: 40635
Quote:
Originally Posted by Cantabridgienne
It was a joke. I picked a bar to go to afterwards. We don't "lead" each other, we are just two normal adults in a relationship enjoying a night out.
Seriously. I suggested a mutually convenient location for a date tomorrow, and I even proposed a time. I wasn't leading, I just asked her out and had a plan, like a normal person.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
)specifically referred to it as "final authority". It's not really authority if obedience is optional.
