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Old 09-10-2015, 09:45 AM
 
19 posts, read 27,250 times
Reputation: 23

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No; not because he's not "rich". I mean I am not going to deny any human being likes money for the comfort this brings, but I am turned off by spoilt guys. I appreciate a guy who works and if he makes a lot of money, God bless him, but unluckily 90% of the wealthy guys out there are spoilt, love a high profile life just to impress and feel better than others, AND they often do think they can buy you. This was exactly my experience and I am so tired. I am someone who enjoys life and I like shopping and beautiful resorts and whatever all we women like, but in no way all this stuff influences my behaviour or how I treat people. It feels like this man is the only one who is not taking advantage from me and that's a turn on.
Plus, yes, it scares me that when I will be his age we probably won't be having sex. On the other hand he has been the first out of six men I had, whom I lived a serious sexual experience with. We had real sex, before I used to have intercourses with boys and I was quite unsatisfied. They were posers in bed too. I am very loose with a strong sense of passion and I was unhappy. This is why for me it is hard to think we won't be doing great in 30 years, because I'm like, "how can this change?"!
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Old 09-10-2015, 10:14 AM
 
Location: Middle America
37,409 posts, read 53,412,743 times
Reputation: 53067
I bet you can find somebody who is down to earth and works for a living who is more age-appropriate, whom being with doesn't involve changing citizenship/country or residency, and who is decent in the sack.
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Old 09-10-2015, 10:16 AM
 
Location: Happy wherever I am - Florida now
3,360 posts, read 12,246,340 times
Reputation: 3908
Mony90 I have spent most of my career around guys just like this out of personal choice and understand your admiration of him. I understand that he is charming, romantic, independent minded, capable, and tough.

I am going to advise against further contact in your case. His experience level greatly supercedes yours, you are grounded in a different familial culture, the age difference is too great, and you have no understanding of what his lifestyle really entails.

Can you accept it when he decides to move his charter business to the mediterranean and you two end up living on a small boat fulltime? I think not. There is no way he is going to change his career track. Just too different for you to acclimate to.

Save it as an exciting and fond memory in your youth.
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Old 09-10-2015, 01:09 PM
 
Location: Hampton Roads
3,032 posts, read 4,724,690 times
Reputation: 4425
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mony90 View Post
This is why for me it is hard to think we won't be doing great in 30 years, because I'm like, "how can this change?"!
In 30 years, if still alive, he will be in his 80s.
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Old 09-11-2015, 09:48 AM
 
19 posts, read 27,250 times
Reputation: 23
Now that I am calming down you don't need to make me notice the age difference is huge anymore -- I figured out it is. Yes, even if I pretend not to care I know it is there and it is probably the biggest red flag, in my view it is beyond the fact of moving itself.

I don't find lack of education a red flag instead. I do think education is important but I don't have the snobbery to tell someone's worth by his/her education. I do give a lot of importance to his ability and skills instead, he has been around the globe for a lot of years working hard, 10 years ago he came back to his native new england to settle down. Alone, but to settle down. He went through his last divorce, he organized his life fishing/we charter boating during the right season and running this local oil/booze business all by himself or almost, he developed a layman knowledge in law reading tons of books because he knew that as he was not rich nor educated he had to know how to avoid problems and work properly. He built his shack and fishery with his bare hands. He might drink beer and use foul language but I have no doubt he is intelligent. Maybe you are not impressed as I am because you are so lucky to have such tough, self made lads in your environments, but think that I never met one in my life. And plus, I don't know if you consider it important in a relationship, but I laugh all the time with him! He's so so funny, he tells things straight ahead, his vulgar loud laugh, it is enough to make me laugh. I mean it's so complicated to explain what you feel!

The whole thing now for me is not whether to move just for an adventure or not, my main problem is that moving in with him for me would mean I'd plan a family. I'd like to be a young mother possibly, so one of my fears is what if I decide to have children and something does not work? Can I bring my american kids back at my home? This is what worries me most probably.
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Old 09-11-2015, 09:54 AM
 
9,479 posts, read 12,256,914 times
Reputation: 8778
I still say don't do it. It's the age difference. IMO it is just too too much.

You are young, this is exciting, you want to run with it. I get that. if you still feel this is real, then wait a year. Stay where you are, get to know him long distance. Skype, email, etc. Maybe date guys your own age in the meantime. See how you feel after a year. My guess is it won't seem like such a thrill, but if it still does, then it was meant to be.

24 is just way too young IMO to be committed to a 52 year old man.

I wish you luck.
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Old 09-11-2015, 10:07 AM
 
1,194 posts, read 1,396,200 times
Reputation: 4102
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mony90 View Post

The whole thing now for me is not whether to move just for an adventure or not, my main problem is that moving in with him for me would mean I'd plan a family. I'd like to be a young mother possibly, so one of my fears is what if I decide to have children and something does not work? Can I bring my american kids back at my home? This is what worries me most probably.
Well, at least you are not getting ahead of yourself or anything. Worrying about immigrating with your kids once your relationship with a guy you barely know eventually goes up just seems smart.
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Old 09-11-2015, 12:32 PM
 
4,471 posts, read 9,819,005 times
Reputation: 4354
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mony90 View Post
The whole thing now for me is not whether to move just for an adventure or not, my main problem is that moving in with him for me would mean I'd plan a family. I'd like to be a young mother possibly, so one of my fears is what if I decide to have children and something does not work? Can I bring my american kids back at my home? This is what worries me most probably.
As someone who grew up with a relatively old father I cannot fathom this. Say you live with him for a year and he's 53 when you get pregnant and 54 when the baby is born. When that child graduates HS he will be 72. Think about that.
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Old 09-11-2015, 01:25 PM
 
Location: Hampton Roads
3,032 posts, read 4,724,690 times
Reputation: 4425
I would not have children with a man I knew for a summer and my guess is if he is in his 50's without children - it's possible he still doesn't want any.
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Old 09-11-2015, 01:26 PM
 
7,235 posts, read 7,021,234 times
Reputation: 12265
All this and living on a tiny, isolated island year-round? Oh dear, OP. Good luck, you will need it.
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