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I love attractive women and would never talk badly about them. I have dated my share, only because I am not afraid to approach them. I have a job that involves working with the public, so speaking to a stranger is not a problem. I have always been told I am a good looking guy by women and I don't look my age, so I don't take my looks into consideration when approaching a beautiful woman. I don't think I am that great but if they do, they better for me. I figure if I get shot down, it is because of something other than looks and sadly a lot of beautiful women are looking for guys with looks. I know a lot of guys who won't approach a good looking woman because they are insecure about their looks.
I have found that if a woman is super good looking but has been single for years, that there is a problem. It could be personality, family issues, issues with kids still at home or any number of things. If I meet a girl who is above average and she tells me she has been single for more than two years I usually ask a couple key questions that I have learned to ask and figure out what is wrong up front. Saves a lot of heartache.
Just like the old saying, if it seems to good to be true, it probably is.
Why is it an issue if an attractive woman has been single for awhile? What if she, like men who have this privilege, choose to remain single to find the right guy...while in the meantime she focuses on work, school, travel, whatever else she enjoys.
I find there to be a massive double standard when you view men vs women and being "perpetually single." For men it's, "oh he just hasn't found the right girl yet. It's ok if he still plays the field, he's met too many girls who've hurt him, he just needs to find that one girl, etc." Whereas with women it's "there must be something wrong with her." Why is this? I thought we've come farther as a society than to continue such narrow thinking.
As if it's just men who need to be "saved" by a girl to find a relationship worth committing to. So women who are single aren't allowed to hold out for the right guy? And they haven't had their fair share of hurt, heartbreak, use from guys, etc? Come on folks, let's finally realize we're all equal human beings here and finding someone to commit to is difficult for all!
I've been seeing a lot of threads about attractive ladies being hard to get, single for too long (a bad thing apparently?), stuck up, etc.
I've found most attractive women get the worst types of guys interested in them (a-holes) and aren't given a fair chance by the guys they do actually like because those men are insecure.
What are your thoughts? I find it disheartening that so many people talk badly about "attractive women" as if they're bad people?
Attractive women aren't bad people. Some are bad people, yes... and some are really sweet and nice. I have a buddy who is dating a woman who is sweet, funny, kind to everyone and has a natural charisma... he feels like he struck the lottery and can't get over how he found such a gorgeous woman with such a wonderful personality. He calls her, "the real deal." On the other hand, yeah, I've met women who are so obsessed with their good looks that they are snobs.
You really can't judge a book by its cover, even good looking "books."
As for attractive women dating jerks. The friend I have above is a good guy, although he can be a bit jerky at times (I think it's confidence and his natural business-man aggressiveness). He tells you like it is. But I will also tell you what, he's a guy you can count on to help if you need it. He always picks up the tab when we are at a restaurant, he tips well and is polite to waitstaff (even jokes with them). And he often is kind and generous to strangers and he even volunteers time (not just money) at a local shelter. But do wrong to him or you screw up and try to weasel your way out of it... the "jerk" comes out.
So the men who date good looking women aren't necessarily so one dimensional either. I think a lot of times, it's the cloud of envy that leads to some men seeing other men as "jerks" when they are with beautiful women.
The closest I've ever been able to come to explaining this topic to myself is the "imago matching" theory. For example, I'm personally not attracted to attractive women unless they're part or mostly narcissistic sociopaths. There has to be a deep, mostly hidden, barely visible, seriously dangerous character flaw for me to fall head over heels "in love" with a woman. She could be extremely attractive and the perfect woman and I'll end up caring nothing for her. I'd have sex with her if that's what she wanted. I might even live with her and get married. But I'd get bored with her and leave for the sicko, evil, psycho the moment one sucked me into her painful, just-asking-for-it bug zapper. It would just be a matter of time. Invariably, my dream woman will chew me up and spit me out - leaving me in indescribable pain and with all forms of resulting personalty disorders. Love is truly grand.
I bring my example up because I believe it illustrates the imago matching theory well. I think people are attracted to the characteristics they were most affected by in their youth - mostly from primary care givers. I do believe level-of-attractiveness plays a huge part, too; however, "being attractive" isn't enough to make someone a lifelong adherent, nor does it make them desperately in love over the long haul. You have to possess the characteristics that make the other person "madly in love" with you. Both of my parents were narcissistic sociopaths, so if imago matching is a valid theory, I'm going to be attracted to females with those character traits. That, or I'm just f'd in the head for no particular reason.
I will say some truth here. If a woman is nothing special looks-wise, or even ugly, she'll attract some horrible guys because of her lack of looks. They'll assume she'll be desperate for attention, since she probably never gets any, and more likely to be insecure. Easy prey for a good lay, or so they think. Just walk up to her, and tell her a lie about how cute she is, and she'll love it.
So, any women could attract sleazy men for different reasons.
Some hot ones will probably get the ones that see them as conquests, and some of the guys may be the hot womanizers, but that doesn't mean they won't get some slobs.
The Less than Attractive ones will get the ones that are desperate for sex with anything, and more often than not look like total slobs, but maybe now and again, they may get some cute ones who just want sex.
But nothing is concrete. And hell neither of those options are good. So same result. But, if the woman doesn't mind NSA sex, then the hot womanizer is the better option than the slob.
I reject this "preying" concept altogether. When you give sex you get sex, and vice versa. I know this culture doesn't agree, but until we can get past this horrendous idea, we will not progress.
Everyone is shallow let's just stop pretending otherwise.
Nah, just be one of a kind or irreplaceable. Women love the "limited edition" men.....
Any reasonably decent good looking woman can find some blob with a lot of money and thankfully he can buy her love, because he bores her to tears.
Why is it she keeps checking out the brains and talent of HIS company when he supplies the funds? The guy that makes it happen is the guy she really wants.....
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