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Old 09-15-2015, 03:29 PM
 
73 posts, read 57,010 times
Reputation: 21

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i find myself often distracted by men

either pursuing a relationship with one, trying to salvage my current failing relationship of one year that ended due to me constantly cheating with other men

i always find myself looking for attention from men i just want to be desired by men

i want to put an end to this

i want to just focus on myself my piece of mind finding my happiness but i just cant i dont feel good about myself unless i get attention i need attention from men i feel depressed if i dont get any attention from men sexually.

in need of serious advice if there is any post that may have already been submitted about this same issue i apologize i didnt take time out to archive the threads first
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Old 09-15-2015, 03:37 PM
 
Location: SoCal again
20,699 posts, read 19,845,952 times
Reputation: 42985
I find compliments from women way more validating. Have you ever heard that women dress up for other women?

Sleeping with a man doesn't necessarily mean he likes or respects you. It can just mean he is horny right now and you are there, available.

Many men respect and sexually desire women much more if they can't have them.

How many men do still want and desire you after they slept with you?
How many men do still want and desire you if you didn't sleep with them?
How many men will still give you a lot of attention after you had sex with them?

I work with 100 guys. Many of them want to sleep with me. If I would sleep with a few, all the others would think very low of me. But because I don't sleep with any, I am much more desired, respected, and wanted. It is a much better feeling as knowing I am the work ****.

Did you never notice that if you just sleep with guys, they don't treat you as well afterwards? Is that a feeling you like? Learn to say NO and their attention will hold up longer as if you always say YES. There is your validation.
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Old 09-15-2015, 03:40 PM
 
6,319 posts, read 7,216,840 times
Reputation: 11987
OP do you have a history of Child Abuse?

I bet you do.

Problems like yours arise when there is either a damaged persona, or a non existent one, or a combination of the two.

I speak from experience here.

You are displaying signs of some sort of trauma. Can you give us a glimpse into your childhood?
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Old 09-15-2015, 03:50 PM
 
73 posts, read 57,010 times
Reputation: 21
Quote:
Originally Posted by oh-eve View Post
I find compliments from women way more validating. Have you ever heard that women dress up for other women?

Sleeping with a man doesn't necessarily mean he likes or respects you. It can just mean he is horny right now and you are there, available.

Many men respect and sexually desire women much more if they can't have them.

How many men do still want and desire you after they slept with you?
How many men do still want and desire you if you didn't sleep with them?
How many men will still give you a lot of attention after you had sex with them?

I work with 100 guys. Many of them want to sleep with me. If I would sleep with a few, all the others would think very low of me. But because I don't sleep with any, I am much more desired, respected, and wanted. It is a much better feeling as knowing I am the work ****.

Did you never notice that if you just sleep with guys, they don't treat you as well afterwards? Is that a feeling you like? Learn to say NO and their attention will hold up longer as if you always say YES. There is your validation.
i actually noticed that with my ex i was trying to work things out with the only time we get along or have some sort of chemistry is when sex is involved sex is a major thing for us because we dont use condoms and i am the only person he has ever slept with without using protection
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Old 09-15-2015, 03:55 PM
 
73 posts, read 57,010 times
Reputation: 21
Quote:
Originally Posted by cindersslipper View Post
OP do you have a history of Child Abuse?

I bet you do.

Problems like yours arise when there is either a damaged persona, or a non existent one, or a combination of the two.

I speak from experience here.

You are displaying signs of some sort of trauma. Can you give us a glimpse into your childhood?

yes i do i was sexually abused as child
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Old 09-15-2015, 04:13 PM
 
81 posts, read 72,052 times
Reputation: 135
Quote:
Originally Posted by howlingtothemoon View Post
i actually noticed that with my ex i was trying to work things out with the only time we get along or have some sort of chemistry is when sex is involved sex is a major thing for us because we dont use condoms and i am the only person he has ever slept with without using protection
Not too bright, is he?

I saw your other thread on the Psychology forum. It sounds like you need some professional help, sooner rather than later, before you end up catching and passing around something incurable.
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Old 09-15-2015, 04:17 PM
 
73 posts, read 57,010 times
Reputation: 21
Quote:
Originally Posted by DJ Grey View Post
Not too bright, is he?

I saw your other thread on the Psychology forum. It sounds like you need some professional help, sooner rather than later, before you end up catching and passing around something incurable.
he actually his bachelors in business administration, but the cheating i did was never me actually sleeping with other men just oral or kissing he doesnt know about the oral
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Old 09-15-2015, 04:19 PM
 
81 posts, read 72,052 times
Reputation: 135
Quote:
Originally Posted by howlingtothemoon View Post
he actually his bachelors in business administration, but the cheating i did was never me actually sleeping with other men just oral or kissing he doesnt know about the oral
Cheating is cheating, and you can get genital herpes in your mouth and pass them on to him.

He's still not too bright if hasn't figured out you have sucked off half the universe. It's also dumb for a man to screw someone without using protection, period.

You need help. You need to get it, instead of relying on men to give you some kind of self-worth.
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Old 09-15-2015, 04:24 PM
 
Location: Scottsdale, AZ
16,961 posts, read 17,262,694 times
Reputation: 30254
Quote:
Originally Posted by howlingtothemoon View Post
he actually his bachelors in business administration, but the cheating i did was never me actually sleeping with other men just oral or kissing he doesnt know about the oral
We all know giving oral isn't cheating, but the kissing thing is.

Better check yourself, girl.
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Old 09-15-2015, 04:25 PM
 
73 posts, read 57,010 times
Reputation: 21
Quote:
Originally Posted by DJ Grey View Post
Cheating is cheating, and you can get genital herpes in your mouth and pass them on to him.

He's still not too bright if hasn't figured out you have sucked off half the universe. It's also dumb for a man to screw someone without using protection, period.

You need help. You need to get it, instead of relying on men to give you some kind of self-worth.

well i dont know how to go about it i have seen therapist and it has done nothing for me
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