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I almost approached an attractive woman a few days ago. But something stopped me. She smelled really bad and I don't care how hot or how out of my league she was.. you smell like butt it's a dealbreaker.
Yeah, bad smell is the ultimate killer. I'd take a woman I wasn't physically attracted to but smelled good over a physically attractive smelly gal!!!
I'd expect women to run the other way on days when I'm not smelling clean.
I really wonder in a hypothetical situation...just how many men on here if they were approached by a stunning woman would actually turn her away rather accept her advances.
Also, I think people are seeing it like she comes up to you and asks for your number in a demanding or intruding way like a d-bag guy at a bar. They drop subtle hints fellas. That they like you...by flattering you subtly or trying to throw the ball in your court.
So many men miss out on these cues I think.
As I said, I've never been approached in my life. So if a beautiful woman out of nowhere approached me I'd wonder what her motive is. I honestly don't know what I'd do in the moment, I'd probably get her number but I'd most likely be unsure of if I'd contact her.
Yes, and it's part of my point. They evidently don't like that. They will reject all of the women who throw themselves at them, and fixate on the coy one that they have to put a bit of effort into.
At least that's been my experience with a certain kind of men.
They appreciate a woman who is vulnerable in the sense that a fat healthy doe in the meadow is vulnerable, not in the sense of a wounded cougar. They want to be the hero and woo the Princess, not the villain needing a snarky sidekick...even if they are otherwise far more villainous than heroic.
Or something. I don't know.
"They want to be the hero and woo the Princess"
Good points all the way around Sonic
What man doesn't want to be the Hero and what woman doesn't want to be the princess? That's one of the reasons we hero worship Fire Fighters, barreling into a flaming building to save small children and pets
What I'm talking about is more than the initial approach. It's the early stages where you're sorting out just who is more invested than whom. The whole cat/mouse/hunting/chasing nonsense (and yes, sorry, I went a bit overboard with those analogies) is not just who walks up and says the first word. It's "who actually wants to see the other person again in a few days" and who wants to get together next week, and who doesn't even bother to call or text anymore after a month. In addition, I've had at least one recent attempt where I "liked" some of his pics, and then he started a conversation with me, we talked lots and lots, and the talk got sexual, and he suggested we meet somewhere. The moment...the VERY FREAKING MOMENT...that I enthusiastically agreed and suggested a day and a place, he was suddenly all head-mucked over his recent ex and not ready to meet another woman, not even for coffee. Pretty much as soon as I made it clear that he had a glowing green light with me and I was very much on board to proceed, and stopped playing shy blushing maid with how I was talking, he was DONE.
And the most successful (in terms of relationship longevity) interactions I've had, have been the ones where I was kind of OK with whatever, just as happy with the friendship as I am with anything else, and not feeling a need to bug anyone about whether we're going to meet up again anytime soon, just letting whatever happens happen. The minute I act like I care about someone to the point where I'm trying to "chase" at all...nope, forget it.
And that goes back to "leagues" but there sure is a lot more to that than looks. It's "You sure seem to want my time. I must be out of your league. You're not good enough for me." Versus "It sure is hard to get a moment of his time. He must be in high demand. He's obviously cut from some pretty special cloth!"
Meanwhile, guys are sitting back there thinking, "Man that guy sure is a jerk. Why do women like jerks? I don't get it."
Because for a lot of guys, especially desirable ones, they have to be given the opportunity to chase. If a woman is too forward, too "direct" then she is offputting because the predator in him doesn't scent the prey in her, as it were. Or however you might wish to put it. For a lot of men, if they don't feel they had to earn a woman, she has less (or no) value.
My mother and grandmother swear by this. I have mentioned possibly just saying what the hell, and going up to men and asking them out. Both say it's desperate, and that you should wait for the man to come to you, and be courted. But chances of that are slim, unless the man is over 50.
But thing is, while you're just sitting around waiting for a certain guy, he doesn't notice you, and meanwhile the ones that do notice and approach are the ones you don't want. Least it's that way for me.
My mother and grandmother swear by this. I have mentioned possibly just saying what the hell, and going up to men and asking them out. Both say it's desperate, and that you should wait for the man to come to you, and be courted. But chances of that are slim, unless the man is over 50.
But thing is, while you're just sitting around waiting for a certain guy, he doesn't notice you, and meanwhile the ones that do notice and approach are the ones you don't want. Least it's that way for me.
So I don't take their advice seriously.
Women, if you do want to approach, then approach.
Us men had our chance.
We're afraid of the "creep" label. So give us an example as to how you want to be approached.
Also, feel free to give ME an example as to how you don't want to be approached.
Last edited by TJenkins602; 09-29-2015 at 05:34 PM..
Yes, and it's part of my point. They evidently don't like that. They will reject all of the women who throw themselves at them, and fixate on the coy one that they have to put a bit of effort into.
At least that's been my experience with a certain kind of men.
They appreciate a woman who is vulnerable in the sense that a fat healthy doe in the meadow is vulnerable, not in the sense of a wounded cougar. They want to be the hero and woo the Princess, not the villain needing a snarky sidekick...even if they are otherwise far more villainous than heroic.
Or something. I don't know.
So, how is that working out for you in terms of having a satisfying, long-term relationship with one of these types of guys?
I think this whole deal about approaching is kinda messed up. Men are afraid to approach not necessarily because of rejection, but also because they don't want to risk being seen as a creeper or a potential rapist. It's turning out that women are also getting backlash for approaching... WTH???
America is just a couple of decades behind Japan in this aspect.
HAVING to work your ass off for a woman and WANTING to are two different things all together. Many guys don't want to walk to the gas station, let alone chase a woman all over town on foot.
I'd keep my moped hidden in the bushes somewhere along the way so I can/could cheat.......
This misconception that men "love the chase" is a myth held onto by women suffering from "the princess" syndrome.
When a guy asked you what is for dinner, tell him " Hopefully I am if everything goes alright"....
Carry a defibrillator with you for when he goes into cardiac arrest....
Games are for children....
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