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Wait i never said I didnt think I deserve better. I am a little, cute, fun, irish hottie that has men staring at me all the time.
I know i have my portion of my life together. I just cant get rid of the drama that others bring to my life. Like having a child with an untreated bipolar man, that now thinks the ticket to not having to pay cs, is to kill me. This is my drama.. Please do tell me how I can permanently remove him from my life?
Rarely do the guys that also have their crap together, want me. The ones that take interest are the ones that need something.
Report him. Get a restraining order.
I am a freak magnet, too. Just learn to spot them quickly and don't get involved with those kinds of guys.
Wait i never said I didnt think I deserve better. I am a little, cute, fun, irish hottie that has men staring at me all the time.
I know i have my portion of my life together. I just cant get rid of the drama that others bring to my life. Like having a child with an untreated bipolar man, that now thinks the ticket to not having to pay cs, is to kill me. This is my drama.. Please do tell me how I can permanently remove him from my life?
Rarely do the guys that also have their crap together, want me. The ones that take interest are the ones that need something.
This is the crux. I don't know you, but these guys you speak of? They're choosing other women for a reason. You have 2 options:
a) realize that those women have an inherent quality or qualities that you don't and adjust accordingly
or
b) write them off as being (insert negative quality that you consider yourself above) and live in delusion.
I want a man who makes good money, has no kids, has a great retirement benefits, owns a sail boat, buys me jewelry, has a credit card with a least a $30K credit limit, a credit score of 760 and above, looks like Vin Diesel with a body to match, drives a sports car, has a house with a swimming pool.
Options:
Guy with average look-
- Must make a lot of money to justify my 2500 sq ft house and make my g/f's jealous
Below average look
- Must make even more money (6 figures)
- Must travel a lot so I can spend time with my g/f spending his money.
OMG, these have been real scenarios.
Looks is what the woman will go for primarily (men do it too). They don't like the picture, they won't even read your profile. Then wonder 'where are the good guys??'
Priceless. Well trust me, there is more to it than that. I am the above average looking guy (for my age) making six figures, cool ride, nice boat, motorcycle, snowmobiles, camper, ATV's, money in the bank, 800 credit score, lotsa fun.....real outdoorsy guy with (I am told) great sense of humor and personality. I like to drink a couple beers once in a while if at the lake or out with friends, but def not a drunk. No baggage.
But...I "don't act my age" according to women over 40, so they don't like me and all I attract is 20's and 30 somethings looking for fun and a daddy for their kids. You can have your act together and still not find someone nice. I am in the same boat as lowonluck with the exception I am not in a rush to find someone.
This is the crux. I don't know you, but these guys you speak of? They're choosing other women for a reason. You have 2 options:
a) realize that those women have an inherent quality or qualities that you don't and adjust accordingly
or
b) write them off as being (insert negative quality that you consider yourself above) and live in delusion.
To follow up on this: I used to quote an article quite a bit directed towards "nice guys" who aren't getting the women they want and message was this: You have to be more than just "the bare minimum" when it comes to desirability. The catch is that people view "the bare minimum" as lower than it really is.
There are guys that are employed, respectful to women, don't have a ridiculous amount of debt, and are getting turned down left and right. Why? Because there's 100 other guys that have all that AND play the guitar. Or whatever.
The same goes for women. You're hot, have a job and your own place? Congratulations, there's thousands of others that do too, and they f*** like porn stars. Or they cook a wicked casserole. Or whatever.
Traditionally "the hand that rocks the cradle" refers to the female hand BEHIND the man.
Not in front of him or alongside him.
Somehow men always get to display the bad behavior, yet the woman is always to blame for it.
Well then I guess we ARE winning! When you make statements that proclaim the existence of a "war on women", you can't have it both ways. Either you're winning and you shouldn't be bitching, or you're losing, in which case, carry on.
This all presupposes that there is such a thing, obviously....which plenty will find laughable.
I disagree that you are a good woman. Any man of decent caliber will see you for what you are. A mother who drags her already damaged kids through one rotten relationship after another. They are probably even more scared than you about what the next one will be like.
Give up on "finding a man" until your kids are grown up and self sufficient. Clearly they can't handle what you are putting them through presently. This is not my advice for every single mom, only the ones who thrive on drama and put their physical and romantic needs ahead of their children's emotional ones.
This here is the perfect thread answer.
I've thought this too. People spend way way too much time thinking about their own needs. This is coming from kid that had a single mother that dragged me around and did whatever suited her, not her child's.
I could regal the forum with some stories of the shyt she put me through, men in and out of her life, dragging me in and out of various schools...etc etc
I think holding off on dating and find a man for a few yrs in the grand scheme of life isn't that big of a deal. The OP has her whole life to clutter with "losers" as she puts it, which is laughable because if I recall right she's living on the government dime with multiple kids.
No man of any caliber is gonna wanna sign up for that horse manure.
Oh I am truly done. I want one good man that will eventually be my husband to grow old with.
I recently threw a cheating, mooch out of my life. My sons father tried to kill me this week. I really crave a calm, stressfree, peaceful life with a man that loves and wants me back.
I keep trying but seem to be the only one showing up for a relationship, while getting used and abused.
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
41,936 posts, read 36,957,550 times
Reputation: 40635
Quote:
Originally Posted by zentropa
I disagree that you are a good woman. Any man of decent caliber will see you for what you are. A mother who drags her already damaged kids through one rotten relationship after another. They are probably even more scared than you about what the next one will be like.
Give up on "finding a man" until your kids are grown up and self sufficient. Clearly they can't handle what you are putting them through presently. This is not my advice for every single mom, only the ones who thrive on drama and put their physical and romantic needs ahead of their children's emotional ones.
Holla
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