So...I was right about her use of the 'F' word after all (woman, single)
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It's not the "sometime" that you should focus on. It's the word "date". They've hung out already; just asking her to dinner wouldn't clear up whether it was for FRIENDLY HANGOUT or for DATE. He figured out how to get an answer, point blank. Ask her on a DATE. She ignored. There's his answer.
No wonder the dating game is so hard! People interpret the same sentence so differently!
No kidding!!!
Is there a book available on Amazon?
If not, there should be... how about an A-Z glossary of PERFECT, No chance for mis-interpretation replies to any dating scenario !!!
OP: I am a guy and I think you are spot on. No need to waste anymore time when you are in the friend zone.
I also think most of the posters calling you weak are way off base. Yes, a specific date/day would have been better but you had already been out once and made your intentions clear.
The consensus from almost everyone that replied there was that I was overreacting to and overthinking her use of the word 'friend' in a text message. I had misgivings about pursuing anything further with her and wanted to cease contact, but lingering hope combined with the urging of C-D posters to convince me otherwise.
On my way there I had suggested eating something with guacamole later, to which she excitedly responded (via text), "You just brought a smile to my face my friend!" (and some other stuff which I've elided as it's not relevant). That made me cringe again, but I was already there and was interested in the conference, so carried on anyway.
We met up, grabbed a bite after and parted ways around 10:30 as we both had to wake up early the next day. I didn't get a chance to put the moves on her as we had been walking around in a crowded area and ran out of time. Conversation was easy and fluid, so at least it wasn't a bad time.
The next day she sent me a text saying, "I had such a great time last night!!!". To which I responded, "I'd like to take you out on a date sometime :-) Let me know when you're free next." I wanted to force a definitive answer from her, and I finally got it in the form of a lack of a response. It's been two days and it's safe to say I won't hear back from her, as she always used to respond promptly before this. I won't be reaching out to her either.
No biggie, but I think there's a lesson here for all the guys: watch out if a girl ever refers to you as 'friend'!!! Don't waste your time, unless you're truly just looking for something platonic. Women use that word rather deliberately, so pay heed...
Always trust your instincts over what anyone on this forum says. Half the people here haven't even been single since the 1970's, and half the time, their direction will steer you right into a brick wall..
The consensus from almost everyone that replied there was that I was overreacting to and overthinking her use of the word 'friend' in a text message. I had misgivings about pursuing anything further with her and wanted to cease contact, but lingering hope combined with the urging of C-D posters to convince me otherwise.
On my way there I had suggested eating something with guacamole later, to which she excitedly responded (via text), "You just brought a smile to my face my friend!" (and some other stuff which I've elided as it's not relevant). That made me cringe again, but I was already there and was interested in the conference, so carried on anyway.
We met up, grabbed a bite after and parted ways around 10:30 as we both had to wake up early the next day. I didn't get a chance to put the moves on her as we had been walking around in a crowded area and ran out of time. Conversation was easy and fluid, so at least it wasn't a bad time.
The next day she sent me a text saying, "I had such a great time last night!!!". To which I responded, "I'd like to take you out on a date sometime :-) Let me know when you're free next." I wanted to force a definitive answer from her, and I finally got it in the form of a lack of a response. It's been two days and it's safe to say I won't hear back from her, as she always used to respond promptly before this. I won't be reaching out to her either.
No biggie, but I think there's a lesson here for all the guys: watch out if a girl ever refers to you as 'friend'!!! Don't waste your time, unless you're truly just looking for something platonic. Women use that word rather deliberately, so pay heed...
Her use of "friend" here is much more defined as something strictly platonic as opposed to the first time she said "with a friend" and yes I believe you would've heard back from her by now if she saw you as more than a friend, BUT this isn't to say you were given poor advice and you shouldn't have asked her!! You simply don't know until you know...fortunately you had the guts to find out and can rest easy at night! Her initial comments still don't make me believe your chances were shot because language can be very ambigious...esp depending on who you're talking to. Either way, no harm done!
Location: Huntersville/Charlotte, NC and Washington, DC
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Quote:
Originally Posted by D217
Always trust your instincts over what anyone on this forum says. Half the people here haven't even been single since the 1970's, and half the time, their direction will steer you right into a brick wall..
Also half of them always find a way to make everything the man's fault.
Her use of "friend" here is much more defined as something strictly platonic as opposed to the first time she said "with a friend"
See, I don't think so. "My friend" in this context is just a figure of speech or an affectation, for example, "...and that, my friend, is why I don't lend people money." I don't think her usage of it here is a conscious effort on her part to solidify that they're just friends. I actually think the initial "with a friend" statement was a lot more telling of her feelings.
See, I don't think so. "My friend" in this context is just a figure of speech or an affectation, for example, "and that, my friend, is why I don't lend people money." I don't think her usage of it here is a conscious effort on her part to solidify that they're just friends.
Proves it's up for interpretation! However, I feel when a girl chooses to say that without being prompted she's trying to indicate this is a platonic relationship...rather than be flirty. Esp once you've spent time with the person and now know how you view the person.
The first "with a friend" was harmless and preceeded any physical interaction, but "my friend?" Nail's in the coffin. Just my opinion.
Always trust your instincts over what anyone on this forum says. Half the people here haven't even been single since the 1970's, and half the time, their direction will steer you right into a brick wall..
I find that true. If you've been out of the dating game for more than a few years, you don't necessarily know how to handle some of the more newfangled things that come up. Not sure that people in lengthy LTRs are the best guides for getting through the early stages of dating in 2015.
I find that true. If you've been out of the dating game for more than a few years, you don't necessarily know how to handle some of the more newfangled things that come up. Not sure that people in lengthy LTRs are the best guides for getting through the early stages of dating in 2015.
Such is the nature of the internet. I don't think 20 year olds are in a position to give marital advice nor need to worry about alimony and child support, but it happens. You can't control the advice you're given and you never know when a piece of advice offered might just click for you. Discard the rest.
I find that true. If you've been out of the dating game for more than a few years, you don't necessarily know how to handle some of the more newfangled things that come up. Not sure that people in lengthy LTRs are the best guides for getting through the early stages of dating in 2015.
What about the people who say they will never date and have no interest in relationships, yet come on here daily to offer their opinions on all manner of relationship and dating queries? What kind of credence should we give their advice?
Last edited by CapsChick; 09-19-2015 at 02:05 PM..
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Don't waste your time, unless you're truly just looking for something platonic. Women use that word rather deliberately, so pay heed...
