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Bull. In the west, it may be considered creepy, but the world is big and there are many more cultures, most of which don't consider it creepy at all. His instinct is to be attracted to her, and what's not attractive about a 19 year old girl?
Guess what? OP lives in the west, so your point, while informative, is moot.
In fact, OP lives in the MIDWEST, which is even more conservative.
Personally, OP, you need to get control of this temptation NOW or get a new job.
Just because it's legal, doesn't mean it's moral. I don't have a problem with men or women dating younger people but there's a huge maturity difference between a 19 year old and a 38 year old. I'm 38 and I can't imagine dating someone so young. I would feel like an old pervert.
Please stay away from this girl and let her be a kid. Don't be that creepy guy.
I would first determine exactly what it is you are looking for, and when. For instance if you are after a relationship but don't think you'd want to have kids when she is ready which could be when you are 45 or 46 or even later, than don't. Also remember she is NOT legal to give alcohol to, and I would not count on her for birth control, only because at 19 I messed up my pills many times.
Also what are your "ties to the University" and is this something you would have to keep secret due to those ties? I also wouldn't want to be involved if she would be planning to keep you secret (i.e. from her parents, especially if they are paying for her college AND you have "ties to the University")
I have no problem with it, as long as you don't try to manipulate her. Just date her like you normally would anyone else, and don't try to dominate her or pressure her sexually.
It probably won't last, so tread lightly.
I went out with a few older men in their early thirties when I was at university, but it was only a couple of casual dates and never led to anything sexual or emotional. We were not well matched and had nothing in common.
I will say that they tried to make me older, wanting to go to over 21 clubs and drinking alcohol. They wanted to date me, but not me if that makes sense. I was also offended that they wanted to mold me or guide me. I knew myself, so I didn't buy into any of that garbage. So just make sure you don't fall into that. Focus on her and what you can both enjoy together from both of your worlds.
Last edited by Meyerland; 09-19-2015 at 09:03 AM..
Bull. In the west, it may be considered creepy, but the world is big and there are many more cultures, most of which don't consider it creepy at all. His instinct is to be attracted to her, and what's not attractive about a 19 year old girl?
Our culture tends to foster prolonged adolescence, which leaves the typical 19-year-old still financially dependent on their parents, and several years away from finishing their education. Such an age gap is less socially acceptable because in our world, a 19-year-old is legally an adult... yet much closer to childhood than adulthood.
Last edited by Ginge McFantaPants; 09-19-2015 at 09:19 AM..
I will give you the short version. Take away her immaturity, it is much more fun to be around someone who is young and full of life than being around a bitter, jaded woman my age who has 3 kids,and has been through a divorce or two.
I would not actively pursue a relationship with someone that young because we are on different pages but I would rather be around "fun" people than jaded, bitter people.
Ah. The Dirty Old Man Rationale.
I appreciate your honesty, but I think you realize that all the benefits of this relationship will flow back to you alone. Anything she stands to gain would only be to satisfy whatever daddy issues she has, and you and I know that's not healthy.
As for women your age, you seem to have a rather jaded attitude yourself.
Bull. In the west, it may be considered creepy, but the world is big and there are many more cultures, most of which don't consider it creepy at all. His instinct is to be attracted to her, and what's not attractive about a 19 year old girl?
Yes, in some cultures 13-year-old girls are married off to old men for the low, low price of a few goats. Those places are the kind of modern, progressive cultures we should be modeling ourselves after.
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