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I hate Starbucks for all the reasons the OP mentioned. Not just for first meets, but all the time. Doesn't your town have cooler coffee houses? Mine has many many super cool ones.
However, I have to say, I haven't had many successful coffee meets. Can't really say why. I don't mind meeting during the day, but maybe coffee shops aren't my natural habitat. I think overall, meeting for a drink in the evening is better. Coffee is just too business like.
But hey, I had a great first meet today, and we met for brunch/outdoor jazz music
The whole idea of meeting for coffee is to briefly get to know the other person and see if you want to continue and go somewhere else or go on a proper date on another day, this is how I've always done it. Several LTR I've been in (including my current G/F of almost a year) I met the woman initially for coffee.
I've gone to many non corporate coffee shops in my town and they are often packed with college students with limited seating. You still have bookstores around you with coffee shops inside?!
Seattle has several such bookstores, and Portland has one, too, as does the town where I currently live in NM. There are also a couple of nice teahouses that also serve desserts and light snacks & salads. Some Starbucks around the Bay Area have a section that's all sofas and coffee tables, with people quietly reading, and the local coffee shop chain has tables for adults to sit and talk, too.
I don't know anything about your town, but unless it's small, and the students have taken over all such venues, most cities and towns have something that attracts a variety of older crowds that don't involve kids.
Last edited by Ruth4Truth; 09-20-2015 at 07:42 PM..
I don't do that! I have a little routine I always do based on my experience. Meet woman at a bar, have a few drinks and when you leave the bar, I go like "Lets sit in my car and talk". I have never had a woman say NO to this.
At least for me I find the car the perfect place to make the first move.
Hmmmm.....I thought that was what you're warned against - if you get into a vehicle it's so they can take you somewhere and kill you! Never get in a vehicle on a first date, ladies! Nothing personal against you, of course...
I agree with you. I've been having this ongoing debate about it with a buddy of mine. I told him I prefer drinks and he prefers coffee. He said he feels less pressure with coffee. I may start trying it because I'm tired of wasting so much money. But I agree its not necessarily ideal.
I read this and thought, this entire post sums up what I just said in mine. Find someone who agrees more with you (you prefer drinks, find someone that does too). And that drinks can become expensive, especially when those first dates don't work out.
Haha. Thanks for reinforcing my choices of why I choose to do what I do.
I don't do that! I have a little routine I always do based on my experience. Meet woman at a bar, have a few drinks and when you leave the bar, I go like "Lets sit in my car and talk". I have never had a woman say NO to this.
At least for me I find the car the perfect place to make the first move.
You target young inexperienced women....you get them alone quickly...you pushould physical advances on them.....you are just getting creepier sounding to be honest.
Hmmmm.....I thought that was what you're warned against - if you get into a vehicle it's so they can take you somewhere and kill you! Never get in a vehicle on a first date, ladies! Nothing personal against you, of course...
It is what smart women are warned...I think IC is just creepy and doesn't have stock in duct tape and kitchen knives....but no one.....male or female...should get into the car of someone you've just met for a date!
If I'm meeting the guy for the first time I learned to prefer a coffee (ice cream, whatever...) or lunch on a week day. It gives both parties a clear line of escape if either so choose. A first date? No. I've usually talked with the guy enough and met him in person so I would know if I wanted to spend time with him (him too).
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I'm not sure that the 5-7 PM window is the best time to start an early stage date. My preference has been towards like 7-8 PM start times. That way, it is clear that it is just a drinks date and not a dinner date.
Really? Because 7-8 is dinner time for me. 5-7 = not dinner time! A drinks date to me would start at 8:30. Or between 4-6:30. 6:30-8:30 is prime dinner hour!
Sure, total stranger. I'll go sit in your car with you!
/\ What Tabula said!
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