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Location: Life here is not an Apollo Mission. Everyone calm down.
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Quote:
Originally Posted by miu
I think that in a past thread, some of us thought that he had sociopathic tendencies. I still think that he would do well to join a theatre group in some capacity. He might even have the talent to be on stage. With his temperament and the right skills he could be a lead actor or the frontsman in a band. If the talent is really there, others will tolerate being in his company.
That is the exact image I have of him also!
He needs an outlet and to stop worrying about what people think of him.
There is a element of insecurity in this previous posts that I think has caused him to rub people the wrong way (not us, I mean the people in his real life) the whole thing with his roommate not inviting him to a party. So they don't like you; tone it down and start over.
He needs to reinvent himself into a kinder and gentler person.
You know those types who don't say much for fear of offending you but they still visually size you up and down with a lemon pucker on their face; that is how I see him. It's not so much what he says to people, it's his body language and I've never seen him!
He needs an outlet and to stop worrying about what people think of him.
There is a element of insecurity in this previous posts that I think has caused him to rub people the wrong way (not us, I mean the people in his real life) the whole thing with his roommate not inviting him to a party. So they don't like you; tone it down and start over.
He needs to reinvent himself into a kinder and gentler person.
You know those types who don't say much for fear of offending you but they still visually size you up and down with a lemon pucker on their face; that is how I see him. It's not so much what he says to people, it's his body language and I've never seen him!
Yes!!! I do wish him the best and I think everyone else did too. And what's sad is that everyone here gave him good sincere advice, but he didn't like what we had to say so he tossed it back in our faces.
And I just remembered about his issues with his therapist and social workers....
What do you call this type of personality or how do you explain this type of person?
In my life time I've run across certain people who can talk peacefully for 5 or 10 minutes and then lash out irritably for no apparent reason. Then go back to the way they were, talking peacfully. Then get irritated for no reason again and say something harsh or use an abusive tone of voice. I am of course perplexed beyond belief, not knowing what happened. Sometimes I will even ask and the person will either accuse me bitterly of something petty that holds no water or say "oh its nothing."
It almost seems like they are holding in their bitterness or anger and unleashing it at really weird and off tempo times. For example: If somebody lashed out at me for criticizing their new outfit. That would be very understandable and accepted. But I am talking about people who will just lash out and even make accusations and get suspicious from out of the blue, and then calm down once I am on the defensive and nervously trying to understand what in the heck just happened. It just is so weird and unnerving. Is that like Bipolar or some disorder? Anybody ever experienced this before?
I am not trying to throw anybody "under the bus" or bring about some sort of argument about how I am not polite enough to people and therefore deserve to be treated poorly (which I don't). And if you do insist on blaming me for their behavior, remember the old saying "Two wrongs don't make a right".
I'm not sure waht you would label this behavior as, But I can tll you this I have a relative like this and as much as I love them I truly hate being around them, very stressful and complex, you can't have a decent conversation, without the condescending, sarcastic and manipulative remarks, it's very controlling unappealing and frustrating. I can't win, no matter what I say I feel like I'm in an MRI, every word is being scanned for malignancies. if anyone has the answer to this I sure would like to know. and when they lash out and you don't put up with it; then they go into an abusive mode as in putting you on the silent treatment for days or weeks on end. never apologize or say I'm sorry. I think there is somewhat a chemical imbalance for sure. Bipolar is a term so readily available to use for this hypersensitive and hypervigilant personality. There has been so much pain caused in our family by this person. and now it is affecting their child. I wish that they would try and see someone I hae suggested it , after being cruelly lashed out at for no apparent reason. Something triggered it, but I can't ever seem to figure out what....................Tired of it though...................
I just want a normal relationship with them, their spouse and child walk on eggshells all the time, I feel sorry for them. The spouse says they are there only for the sake and protection of the child which is 3 years old.
Last edited by yhwhshalomjr; 01-31-2008 at 01:44 PM..
Reason: mispelled a lot, I apologize though
My sister is exactly as you describe and while the OP is no longer a member, there seem to be a number of people out there like the initial description, so it is worthy of discussion.
It is very draining dealing with such a person and no matter what you do or say they find some reason to be angry with you. IMO, they are very insecure and possibly suffer from a chemical imbalance as you mentioned.
I personally have come to the decision to cut her out of my life. Some may think that is the wrong decision, but I feel I am better off without this toxic relationship and unnecessary drama in my life.
You can't really help people who don't want to help themselves and you certainly cannot change them, all you can do is hope they get the help they need.
A person who's mind is preoccupied may appear to be lashing out at you. The truth is they aren't listening to you but reacting to their own thoughts. They are tuning in and out of the conversation.
My sister is exactly as you describe and while the OP is no longer a member, there seem to be a number of people out there like the initial description, so it is worthy of discussion.
It is very draining dealing with such a person and no matter what you do or say they find some reason to be angry with you. IMO, they are very insecure and possibly suffer from a chemical imbalance as you mentioned.
I personally have come to the decision to cut her out of my life. Some may think that is the wrong decision, but I feel I am better off without this toxic relationship and unnecessary drama in my life.
You can't really help people who don't want to help themselves and you certainly cannot change them, all you can do is hope they get the help they need.
I know it !!
It seems like a no win situation, for sure;
When you hear from them (your stomach feels like you could use a pack of rolaids?)... The situation I'm going through is that when this person/persons are in the siklent mode, I feel at ease; but when I want to know how they are doing, I just find myself asking their significant other if they are okay, I mean if I haven't heard from them in a while, just to make sure they are living and are okay. if you knoew what I mean
A few years back a therapist tried to convince me that a functional relationship with this person is sooooooooo TOXIC, but how do you divorce your family member, it is painful, and besides I don't like giving up on anyone.
I will posat more when I get settled in my new place and get my PC hooked up to the Web. ( in case you don't hear from me).. I'm at the library now using theirs. for $2.00 a session YIKES!!!
Hope you are having good success with your situation.
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